A guy who ghosted me is asking for a second chance.. should I give him one?

Question

So I met him on a construction site, as he was working... I found him cute so walked up to him to ask him if I could add him on messenger.. he said yes and offered that I also take his # number...

He said that he finds me attractive too etc and we started texting... he's very responsive.. replies almost always right away.. and all day...

He did talk about his concern of me being a minor because I have that genetic that makes me look very young, I don't age... but I told him that I was not a minor... it wasn't enough to reassure him so I told him my exact age, 28 yo... he did look really concerned but damn...

But yesterday we were supposed to meet (we planned to meet just to french kiss, no sex, no dates or anything... just french kiss) and he chocked.. he said that the reason he didn't show up (without even letting me know) was because he thought it was a trap, I was underage and that the police was waiting for him there?

I was really mad...

He said he's really sorry and is asking to see me again today... but he honestly killed my vibe by ghosting me yesterday and now I'm mad at him... I don't know if I can forgive that or not.. am I over reacting? Should I give him a chance?

SnowedIn · Accepted Answer

He didn't ghost you. He stood you up. There's a difference.

Should you give him a second chance? Yeah. I'm not just saying that because I'm a guy. Here's why:

First, you said you approached him first. So this isn't some desperate, love sick puppy chasing you. You liked him. That's worth a second chance.

Second, his fear is legit. Should he have trusted you? Yes. But being caught with a minor is huge and his concern is rational.

Finally, although he didn't go about this the best way, his thought process shows that he's trying to do the right thing (not get involved with a minor).

His choice of behavior is unfortunate but doesn't warrant shutting the door on the possibility.

ManOnFire · Accepted Answer

My issue with this whole thing is that you didn't even know the guy and you walked up to him and asked for his Messenger simply because he was cute. I am assuming neither of you ever spoke to each other prior to that.

However, I could maybe understand him thinking it could've been a set up. But I mean... you can give him another chance if you want. That's up to you.

petitedollbabee · Accepted Answer

It’s not right for him to ghost you because of that, he could’ve asked to see some ID to prove your age if he was that concerned? There’s not really an excuse for it. I wouldn’t be giving him a second chance if that were me.

_SillyShoes_ · Accepted Answer

Sounds like he had this kind of an issue before, but with an actual minor. I would stay away - for nothing else but for him ghosting you.

madhatters4 · Answer

no you shouldn't. if he had concerns he should've voiced them and explained that he wasn't comfortable meeting because of those concerns rather than just going MIA.

it's about respect. it's fair to be concerned about a person's age. but it's disrespectful to make plans to see someone and leave them hanging

Losalt · Answer

Hum...
He didn't mean to hurt you.
But he's dealing with his own demons
I don't think that you should be mad.
But this *is* a sign of those demons, and if you decide to pursue a relationship with him you should walk into it with your eyes open.
Also, if you ever do get kids with him, try to avoid leaving him alone with them...

rukus88 · Answer

I think he really likes you. You have a young look, men are terrified of being falsely accused of anything sexual. men have killed themselves over it. His life would literally be destroyed forever if he was correct. It is a huge risk that women will never understand. My opinion, literally show him your I. D. to help put his mind at ease. Honestly I truly think he genuinely likes you.

ZackBan · Answer

Shoulda pulled out some ID.

I've actually been through a similar thing at a bar. It was a girl who looked 15. She swore she was 22 and in college but I couldn't shake that feeling that I'd be in cuffs within the night.

It's an uncommon thing but If you truly look young you might as well show a driver's license or something

exitseven · Answer

Wow, if this is true you should try again I get why he thought u t it was a trap. No girl ever came up to me like that and if one did I would be suspicious too.

mommymommymommy · Answer

I mean, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

What I'm saying is, you can do it again, but, at your own prerogative. Basically, do it if you think he won't lie again/stand you up.

To be fair, he was at least honest with you. He just should have handled it better

RyanK9b · Answer

You sound like really overreacting. Just be emphatic. If you would be really a minor would it ruin his life.
Just think about the consequences as a male what would happen.
He would lose everything.

Also kinda hot of you just to walk up to him. Also a super winif you are really have these young genes. Its a double win

Jazzy54 · Answer

Yeesh, this guy sounds paranoid. You’re 28 so what’s his problem? Nah, no second chance here. Who knows what else he’ll freak out about?

andreasderjuengere · Answer

Even if you WERE a 'minor'... if the chemistry would be there, you two would find a correct way to deal with it and to -kind of- wait it out. Some things aren't meant to be.

Anonymous · Answer

That's not ghosting, you fool. That's being stood up.  Not knowing basic English too well would add to his suspicion that you're lying about your age.

slatyb · Answer

Should you? Maybe, but his fear of a sting seems rather irrational. That's now how those things are done.

Anonymous · Answer

just let him go. he watched way too many "to catch a predator" on youtube.

McLlovin · Answer

I wouldn’t. Fool me once shame on me fool me twice shame on me.

Anonymous · Answer

You won't. You're doing what guys are usually labeled as doing, getting attracted and fixated. He knows that and that it'll probably lead to easy sex so you'll probably go, have sex and then he'll ghost for real.

Yannishka · Answer

Oh for fucks sake. Just bring an ID. Problem solved.

Christoff92 · Answer

Well. He's saying, "Am the bogeyman and am coming to get you." Sure why not 😏

whistlingwh0res · Answer

He might be looking rich woman like sugar mama sugar daddy

DizzyDesii · Answer

I’d take the closure and then part ways

shades777 · Answer

yes so he can ghost you twice

Akam93 · Answer

Hell no.

A guy who ghosted me is asking for a second chance.. should I give him one?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

A guy who ghosted me is asking for a second chance.. should I give him one?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.