Is it bad I don’t drive, don’t work, don’t go to college, and live with my parents? Would it put guys off?

Question

Disclaimer: I have been to interviews and am looking for a job and I’m returning to college in the fall (I have studied before but stopped, animal biology and crminology) have also had jobs before childcare, retail and sales also volunteered before I am definitely not a total bum I have goals I spend my time reading and strength training and taking my dog to parks I love walking in nature and listening to podcasts.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It’s totally turn off realm for some for sure like even just one of them could be a major turn off because everyone is different. Some dudes really need a woman with a degree although most men that work decent salaries I know tend to pay for like all the dates and shit.

Okay, so you may think that those traits make you a turn off but, in reality, the act of thinking negatively this way (insecurity) is the turn off. However, you have a super benefit of me not knowing you irl and who knows if you would mention your self proclaimed turn offs out loud. I am actually blind in this area and not the best “player” because I have a heart and I rarely think of my turn offs. Nothing I worry about but I think guys low key go through a great deal of acceptance and respect from others public or private and personal. I don’t want to waste time thinking about them either lol the older I get the more smellier , hairier, weaker, hopefully not fatter! These are just normal everyday insecurities that everyone even the highest paid actors have bad insecurities and anxiety.

One thing about you that isn’t a turn off is that you opened up and you’re honesty about how you feel grabbed me as can relate. I know its hard to live in a world with such high expectations and everything is in such high demand right now because of our abuse to smart phones.. you see people on internet with nice house, cars, and cool stuff, “perfect” relationships/ family. When you see all this you gotta take a step back and look at the big picture. It’s very easy to fall in the jealousy pit but you have to stay focused and choose inspiration. Chose happy today. Not one day, I’ll be happy… I’ll be happy when _______ happens in my life.

And if you’re not absolutely happy at the moment about your driving, career, livening situation the happiness may not just appear at the snap of a finger. Cheer up! Im happy with you! I actually have a lot of respect for you as I’m actually going through the same thing and have been scared terribly about how my future is unfolding. I don’t drive as I’m get getting out of a dui situation and cars are so expensive these dumays and I’ll be like super broke if I got a car that I want right now, my career path needs some exponential growth, and I, too am figuring out how I’m going to not live with my bro for the rest of my life. The truth is I haven’t had the best advice on how to properly prioritize what I like doing with my time and how I managed my money. I think if you just keep doing your best each day in one or more of those departments by creating a dream goal and achieving smaller goals along the way to get there. For example, maybe it will take more time for you to be behind the wheel but, decide by when you absolutely need one. Jobs are hard to find when it comes to a place that is worth it for you and you actually like it. Jobs all should suck, that’s why they call it a job. Think about it. Do you want to cut the grass? Probably not people pay other people to get their grass cut. For some it is worth their time to cut other peoples grass probably not because they absolutely love it but they don’t mind doing that for money. Still make time for social interaction with either bffs or family but, the weekends are major league money drainer, with alcohol in the air.

SnowedIn · Accepted Answer

Is it bad in a general sense? No.

However it will put most people off, yes, not because you are lazy but because you APPEAR lazy. Perception matters and appearances are all that people have to go on.

May I make a suggestion? Start to volunteer in between working out and job applications. Something that matters: substitute teacher, library, women's shelter, animal shelter, etc. Make use of your time. So when the cute person at the bar or the club says "what do you do?" your hotness factor goes up exponentially because you're a substitute teacher instead of mooching off your parents.

Alli39 · Accepted Answer

Kind depends on how long, but I'd say if you've worked and you're actively pursuing work/education then you're fine. You're also young enough that living with your parents really isn't weird anyway, especially if you're still pursuing an education. (Also, if you have access to the transportation you need because you're in a city or something then that's basically irrelevant.)

BlackBeauty90 · Accepted Answer

You'll attract guys who'll be interested in cheap sex and little else.

Guys that want a meaningful relationship typically want someone who isn't lazy. Yeah yeah you go to the gym... but you don't contribute much to your parents household so you won't contribute much to a decent guy's either.

AviatorTom · Answer

Sounds like public transportation is available where you live, so driving isn't necessity. But you should still have a drivers license and know how to drive. There will be times in your life when you'll be in a place where driving may be necessary. Bo ahead and get a license.

Youyouns, so getting guys isn't a problem. Showing that you can be independent will help you keep a guy.

Best of luck going back to school... and job hunting.

Avicenna · Answer

Well, you're 23, so you can get guys, but it's going to be very hard to keep one, especially if he has to support you and drive you around everywhere.

kylee2437 · Answer

Yup it’s bad, especially because you come off super fancy looking. Who is paying for all that? Your parents?

coachTanthony · Answer

It's bad because you deep down believe it and now want us to say no it's fine. In the end it will be up to you to tame your insecurities.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Why aren't you working now? There are so many jobs available! I would be concerned about your unemployment because that usually means laziness.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

What could you possibly offer a man that he couldn't get from innumerable other women? You don't drive, a basic adult life skill, so that's going to severely limit you. You don't work, that should be self-explanatory, you live with your parents because your broke ass doesn't have a job to move out? By the looks of things you haven't taken the best care of yourself? You completely lack any self-awareness to even NEED to ask would that put guys off. Yeah. Entitlement isn't a turn-on and since you bring nothing to the table you're expecting your partner to bring everything.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Maybe the not working part. Except for living with her parents (they were back in India), my ex-fiance was the same as you but, she had a part time waitressing job two nights a week and she'd make over $300 a week for about 12 hours of work. She never worked more than 3 days a week. And that was back in the `90's!
For that matter, a great portion of my adult life I was the same as you. I still don't drive and haven't been able to get a job in years! Nearly every job I had (I lost track counting them when I got to 64) was a part time job. Nobody wants to hire me full time, even though I bust ass when I work and usually find ways to get things done faster.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

It will not, because you are young and you look great.

But here’s my tip, change all this for yourself, not for men.

It’s important to be your own support system.

Men will pamper you for your youth and prettiness but men will also leave you and replace you very easily with the next shiny thing.

So… Be your own hero. Don’t wait for a man to save you.

Anonymous · Answer

In my opinion, it's not bad at all. You've been doing things for yourself, you have lots of interests and have been investing in bettering yourself. I know lots of people that took a break/career hiatus cause of Covid and now are looking to get back out there in the workforce or continue their studies.. But it also depends on where you live and which culture you're from. Most people on this forum are Americans, so they're extremely judgmental about this stuff.. They tend to judge others by how much money they make, without knowing their personal circumstances and think everyone over 21 should make X amount of figures

I personally don't understand this logic. As long as doesn't commit a crime, it's none of your business if and how they earn their money. But that's just me.. You see how harsh people in the comments are. That's why I usually avoid answering personal questions from people I don't know well.. Sometimes a small innocent lie isn't bad either

Bricealan · Answer

Don't sweat the small things. By the time I finished my B. S. got my military obligation finished. (volunteered) and got a full time job in industry, I was 27. I lived with my parents, and they did not have me pay room and board, as long as I stayed in college.

To pay my tuition, I did not take out student loans and had nothing to pay back. I worked part time, and full time while going to school and commuted from home.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes it is. If you were a perfect 10 it might be ok, but in my opinion I’d say you’re a 6 so you’d have a harder time meeting men. At least ones that will take you seriously. You make it sound as though you’re trying to justify not doing anything by listing all the things you say you’ve done before. Sure looks may attract a man but once he realizes you’re basically a bump on a log, those looks won’t really matter.

motownplayer2000 · Answer

Usually, a guy doesn’t care about your financial status or what your situation is… that’s more women that tend to want men to get their shit together. Women that don’t have their shit together usually can still get any man they want. So if you aren’t getting men.. it’s not because of you “being a bum” there is something else that you will need to evaluate and fix.

Ezra_lila · Answer

Yes, without a doubt. Despite the fact that man is by nature a provider and dependable, he nevertheless desired a partner.

At some point, being able to support oneself financially and independently attracts men.

Billlewis · Answer

You sound like the perfect woman for an obedient pay pig to serve on a long term basis -- and I'd love to discuss the possibility of becoming the perfect pig for you and the lucky guys you're dating:)

exitseven · Answer

You have not found your path apparently. It is really okay. You really need to learn how to drive. Make a plan and execute it. Working towards a goal will be gratifying.

RavVid · Answer

I don't think it makes you a no go. Male mate selection focuses on other aspects a major one being collaborative. If you were male you would be a complete bum but you are a girl.

MementoMori777 · Answer

I don't think that's normally a preference for men where they have it for women like women have it for men

Iron_Man · Answer

You’re young yet but you need to learn to drive because you have to drive in life but you are looking for a job just keep looking

molonski2 · Answer

What you are doing is not bad , you have set about to change what you are doing , keep yourself fit and active , and stick to your plans.

jshm2 · Answer

Seems your dogs have a better life, and chance of a productive relationship , than you do.

Is it bad I don’t drive, don’t work, don’t go to college, and live with my parents? Would it put guys off?

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