I just saw the pic below and now I feel really bad about my self.
(by the way, I don’t hate kids, I would like to take care of kids someday and give them life and happiness)
I’m a bit worried because I’m only 3 years away from my 20s. Almost 2 years.
Is my purpose on life just to have kids and take care of everyone else? Am I supposed to be married young and have kids young? Is it bad that I don’t have any and not married?
Is it bad that I’m not married and have kids already at 17?
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Anonymous
(25-29)
7 mo
Don't worry, these women lost their youth, freedom and much more. They are coping to the maximum. Completely seething when they see young women around their age exploring love and life and themselves at a healthy pace. When they either got trapped by an old man who took advantage of them, or made a mistake they sadly couldn't go back on or made unfortunate decisions, like you do when you're young and not there yet mentally. Women who married and had children young and don't brew secret bitterness about it don't try to make other young women feel or look bad, they live happily and don't give a shit about others. If anything you will see they have much love to give. Marrying and having children is basically the end of your own life. It becomes the life of your newly created family and it's something you need to be ready for. The healthiest age to do it is around late 20s to mid-late 30s depending your health. It's also there that you will have much more things figured out about your life, your goals, your own mind and your body, your finances (because yeah it's going to be really important) your values and more. Seriously don't worry about them trying to scare you, also don't worry about the old men trying to manipulate you (there WILL be a lot of them). They are all bitter people with bad intentions who need to worry about themselves instead of you. Just enjoy your life, you will be ready when you are ready. And if you are ready late, or never, or just don't choose this life it's fine✌️It's easy to get brainwashed by social media but stay grounded in real life and you will see. You're going to meet so many people from all walks of life and you will see there isn't one way for health and happiness
No. It’s women in their 30s who did this and didn’t get married and have kids are the ones who are seething at their friends and extended family members who have nuclear families.
You’re 17, you made a commitment to taking care of your kids, that’s not a bad thing. And for all intents and purposes yes, it’s going to be the focus of your life for roughly the next 20 years. However, as you hit your late 30’s and 40’s you’ll be able to find the freedom to pursue what you like and you’ll do so with the satisfaction of knowing you were the best mom possible to your kids. Being a mom at a different stage of life isn’t a bad thing, the idea that you need to be married is just traditional thought processes but you can be a good mom and happy at the same time without a spouse. There are no milestones that you are required to meet in life, and you’re not a bad person for choosing to hit one milestone and not another.
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4 Reply
Asker
7 mo
Sorry if I got you confused, I don’t have any kids right now I was just asking if I’m supposed to have some right now or by 21 years old
You’re not “supposed to” anything, that’s my point. Did you have kids earlier than average? Yes. Is that a bad thing? No. You are not a bad person for meeting or not meeting certain milestones. Some people don’t have their first kid until their 40’s, you’re not doing anything wrong or incorrect
Be responsible with the children you have, and the rewards come later. They'll be ready to tackle milestones in life, and you'll be young enough yet to tackle the milestones right along with them. If their father is on board with that too, even better! He'll eventually reap the rewards as well. And you'll all still be young enough to bounce back from your current inconvenience.
Just look at Jordin Solis on YouTube. She was very reckless, because her mom didn't treat her well. But she met Jose, and turned everything around.
Bro you are still very young, in my country you can't even get legally married cause you are too young, that means you are chillin, don't worry too much about marriage or kids, it will happen when it does and just enjoy your youth while you have it, you set your own path and purpose, you one day will make a good mother and have a wonderful husband but your youth is still ahead of you and no need to listen to stupid posts on the internet, there's many ignorant posts.
Terrible time to get married and have kids. Something you should save as late as possible. Well the kids part at least, the marriage should take a bit too. I'd be embarrassed if I were here 'cause like, her relationship is probably not gunna last and her kids consume her early life. ------- You also worded this question terribly, which is why people think you have kids.
I don’t think it’s a serious as people like to think. It’s not a competition. I’ve always wanted kids young and an earlier marriage life. However, by the time I turned 21, that dynamic changed completely and all I wanted to do was be childish and get into trouble. Sometime I wish I could take it back. But in all honesty, you’re not in competition with anyone.
Wrong. You are in a silent competition with people. You are 32 years old, not married and no kids. You have already been squeezed out of your group of friends because they have already created nuclear families and you no longer have anything in common with them and there's nothing to talk about.
Of course you wish you could take it back. Unmarried/childless women always do at your age.
@jeffend888 who said anything about me being unmarried and without children. Additionally, I personally am not in competition with anyone. 😂
Besides that, you don’t know me, my circle or everyone I could possibly be in competition with to create that sort of conclusion. Safe to say you can suck on a dehydrated walnut and buzz off my opinion post with that uninformed comment of yours.
in my opinion hell no. You are still a kid yourself. Could you even support a baby, how would you make ends meet? Are you mentally prepared for the changes in your life starting from the moment you get pregnant until you die? Go out and live, enjoy your freedom, travel, have fun. When you meet the right person, you will know when it is time to settle down and figure out when will be the right time.
Everyone is different. One of my middle school classmates had a child at 21 I think it was, and here I am at 26 still a virgin without romantic experience.
This "should I?" sort of normative thinking isn't really applicable to social or romantic relationships.
Besides, nobody at 17 can support themselves, let alone a child. I'm 25 and I don't even have a job, but that's a different issue.
No why would you want to be tied down already.. you are still a kid... I don't recommend you to be a hoe through your youth but at least enjoy it... because once you got kids they take up a lot of your time and energy..
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2 Reply
Asker
7 mo
Thank you, I’m still a virgin rn but yeah I think I just felt a tiny bit of pressure
Well that is good! Take your time in life.. just remember nothing is a rush and don't ever do something because you feel like that is "what I should be doing" or "so and so wants me to do this or that" those kind of moves only bring you grief.. The only thing I recommend in life is try and focus on what you want to do for work or to make money because it kind of sucks to not have that figured out until you are around my age, though I suppose it is fine if it does take you that long LOL
Do not rush it you have plenty of time to get pregnant. There are thousands of girls that wish they had waited. Your not playing house with dolls you put away dinner time and you sleep all night and you do not have to worry about having enough money to buy formula and diapers pay rent. .
No not at all. There are girls that marry early but that doesn´t mean that you have to do that, too. Go your own way and figure out the way you wanna live first then look for a guy that shares those interests you want to marry then think about kids.
If you were married and had children at 17, 10 years later you’d feel very resentful that you’ve missed out all the amazing things you could experience…
Is this post a joke? I hope so. Cause I would hope you’re not married with kids at 17 lol. Everyone has their own timeline. It could happen in a year or in ten and it’ll be okay either way
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(45 Plus)
7 mo
That’s why having sex is a big responsibility because you can get pregnant at a young age and if the father doesn’t want to be with you then you’re on on your own and most likely he won’t be able to pay much for the kids to support or marry you but you’ll get it out of the way early in life while young but it’s going to be rough for years until they don’t need a babysitter
Honestly, you're too young to be thinking about marriage and kids. You should. learn who you are first.
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
7 mo
why on earth would you be worried about all of this now? you have many more years before you can even start to worry. wtf?
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3 Reply
Asker
7 mo
I’m just worried because I know people around me are getting married young and having kids young.
My mom married at 18 and had me at 20.
Asker
7 mo
And I’m worried because i feel like I only have a few years left and I’m supposed to marry and have kids referencing to the photo.
Opinion Owner
7 mo
whoever in your friend group that is getting married and having kids at your age, 17, is seriously dumb! you don't want to follow in those footsteps, trust me. that leads to being a single mom! not a good look and not fun. they will be STRUGGLING, if they aren't already. there is no age for marriage or having a kid. women have babies in their 40's even. it's not uncommon anymore.
I'm 25, unmarried and childless with my cynicism of the former and corrupted genes a reason against the latter
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(18-24)
7 mo
Don't worry about those things, they will happen when they are meant to... if you're unsure of if they will or won't, just don't use a condom, you have something like a 5% chance of conception each time you have sex.
You should wait until you are married to have kids. You don't need to be married by 20. There is no set way of doing things by a certain year of your life.
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