My ex broke up with me the end of last week as he wanted to be single. Our break up was good and I walked away with really no questions as he talked me through it all. Although I love being in a relationship, I have realised I want to be single a while.
My friends say that it's a phase and that I'm only wanting to stay single in the hopes he'll take me back. The thought hadn't crossed my mind like that but I worry maybe that is my motive without realising it. Of course I want him back. I still love him but because I love him, I would rather he was single and happy than with me and resentful. They took me to a club last night to "get me out there" but honestly, I just wanted to get drunk and forget about men and relationships for a few hours. I saw how my friends where, one kissing every guy she could find and the other crying because no one showed her interest. They put so much pressure on going home with someone for a one night stand that they failed to enjoy the night they had spent money on.
The main reason I want to be single is because my relationship with my ex was so good. I've realised I'd rather wait to find someone who gives me the same feeling and spark as my ex rather than date someone for the sake of not feeling lonely. My relationships before this one where dependant, trying to fill a void. This one was just because he made me happy and that felt so much better. Plus if I dated someone now it wouldn't be fair as I'd no doubt love my ex more than them. I couldn't put someone through that. I've never been one to sleep around, tried it, never enjoyed it.
But yeah, my friends say my stance on it is a phase and that I'll crack eventually and embrace the "hoe lifestyle" as they call it. Nothing against it but I don't want that. In my gut I feel like I don't have to rush, that someone just as awesome as my ex will show up eventually. Until then, I just want to love myself and make sure I'm not looking for someone else to do it for me.
My friends say that it's a phase and that I'm only wanting to stay single in the hopes he'll take me back. The thought hadn't crossed my mind like that but I worry maybe that is my motive without realising it. Of course I want him back. I still love him but because I love him, I would rather he was single and happy than with me and resentful. They took me to a club last night to "get me out there" but honestly, I just wanted to get drunk and forget about men and relationships for a few hours. I saw how my friends where, one kissing every guy she could find and the other crying because no one showed her interest. They put so much pressure on going home with someone for a one night stand that they failed to enjoy the night they had spent money on.
The main reason I want to be single is because my relationship with my ex was so good. I've realised I'd rather wait to find someone who gives me the same feeling and spark as my ex rather than date someone for the sake of not feeling lonely. My relationships before this one where dependant, trying to fill a void. This one was just because he made me happy and that felt so much better. Plus if I dated someone now it wouldn't be fair as I'd no doubt love my ex more than them. I couldn't put someone through that. I've never been one to sleep around, tried it, never enjoyed it.
But yeah, my friends say my stance on it is a phase and that I'll crack eventually and embrace the "hoe lifestyle" as they call it. Nothing against it but I don't want that. In my gut I feel like I don't have to rush, that someone just as awesome as my ex will show up eventually. Until then, I just want to love myself and make sure I'm not looking for someone else to do it for me.
