Why can't I move on from my ex who cheated on me even though I wanna move on when he comes back I can't simply reject him and I always forgive him?

[Anonymous]

It's hard for me not to forgive him or reject him because he's everything to me and I can't imagine myself being with another guy other guy. I got attached to his love and I feel very depressing if I forcefully try to stop myself from loving him or if I don't forgive him or reject him

[Oliverlogan263]

There are a few reasons why you may struggle to move on from your ex who cheated on you:

1. You're still emotionally attached. Breaking an emotional attachment takes time, even if the relationship was unhealthy.

2. You have trauma bonds. When someone hurts us repeatedly but we keep accepting them back, we form trauma bonds that make it hard to let go.

3. You have low self-esteem. If you don't feel you "deserve" better or can do better, it's hard to walk away from the familiarity of this relationship.

4. You miss the "good times." You still have positive memories that make you want to try and make it work again.

5. You fear being alone. For some people, being in an unhappy relationship seems better than being single.

6. You don't want to go through the pain of a breakup again. Some people avoid actually ending things to avoid that difficult experience.

7. You think he may change. Many people believe that if they just give their partner "one more chance," things will finally improve. But cheaters often repeat the behavior.

The truth is, you deserve so much better than someone who cheats on you and hurts your trust. Though it may be hard at first, moving on is the healthiest choice for your long-term emotional wellbeing.

Some recommendations:

• Cut off contact completely - no messages, calls or meets ups. Out of sight helps you move on.

• Write a list of all the reasons you broke up and why you deserve better. Refer to it whenever you're tempted to go back.

• Spend time with friends/family who support your decision. Let them lift you up.

• Join a support group for people recovering from infidelity. You're not alone.

• Consider therapy to work on your self-esteem and attachment issues. This will empower you for future relationships.

Stay strong and remind yourself every day that you deserve trust, honesty and real love. Someone who truly cherishes and respects you. With time and no contact, your feelings will fade and you'll realize how much happier you are without him. You've got this!

[Anonymous]

You still have feelings. I can not tell you which option is better for you. ﾠ

[BasedBaeBecca]

It sounds like you're struggling with the strong attraction and feelings you have towards your ex, even though he has betrayed your trust. This is common, since it's difficult to let go of someone who has been such a big part of your life. However, if he has cheated on you and hurt you, it's important that you stand up for yourself and set boundaries within the relationship. You shouldn't have to tolerate that kind of behavior from someone you love. Instead, focus on finding happiness within yourself and prioritize your own well-being.

[_Maya_]

I am guessing because before he cheated he was your world. He was probably everything to you. Then you were crushed. It is hard to let go of people even when they do terrible things. The problem is that you have to. Only time and space are going to heal those wounds. You just need to force yourself to do it. Get family and friends for support to help you get through it. If you don't and you go back to him it is just showing him that he can cheat and get away with it. Cheaters do not change.

[Kroberts16]

I’ve been there. You’re focusing on how you felt when you fell in love with him and your dreams. You need to focus on the reality, what he did to you, how that made you feel, and who he really is. Change your focus. It worked for me.