What can I do to avoid making the same mistake when it comes to dating, where I don't want to date a player, but want to date a genuine and good guy?

[SeaStorm1]

I got a learning disability. Having made my mistake of trusting men based on their words, I tried to learn to trust them based on their actions instead. I made a few couple big mistakes with some previous ex boyfriends that did cheat on me. One previous ex boyfriend said he would like to have more than one girlfriend and I said no and did broke up with him. That was while i was in my college years. My last ex boyfriend became toxic and I did break it off by text since i didn't want to be with a toxic person. i did make a lot of mistakes from online but i did stop putting effort in with the first guy that i did meet but turned out to be a player since i only found through facebook and not him that he didn't get into more than one relationship. After the second man that i metup with date is was good but did sent ultimatum after I sent text i'm not sure if i'm interested in sexual relationship but prefer to be in long term relationship and he through is was cheating on me and i said broke off with him. The last text he did send was we are not compatible and did blocked him. I didn't think that i was we in a relationship and never was since i was one that broke off things with him. i'm meeting up with a new guy today and i don't wantII to find a player but prefer to get a guy that is genuine good guy What can I do to avoid making the same mistake when it comes to dating, where I don't want to date a player, but want to date a genuine and good guy?

Updates

8 mo

i'm looking for helpful opinion only and if going to be like stoped texting. that not helpful thanks you. only real helpful hosent opinion about avoiding my mistake.

[Reorx]

Those nervous guys? Some of them were nervous because they cared about the outcome & that's a turn off for most women, many like the guy who doesn't care at all. Good men are working or at home, they have loved ones they're taking care of & no time for games / b. s. Some of them are Captains of a sinking ship & still care enough not to drag soneone they "love" into a bad situation.

[Avicenna]

It can sometimes be a matter of pure luck to find the right person. Be patient, and don't be picky about the things that aren't as important.

[Twalli]

Chances are that you only find players physically attractive. Come up with a list of physical attributes you are looking for in a guy. Then find out what are requirements and what are just preferences. Then don't eliminate guys who don't have your preferences as long as they have your requirements. That will mean you have a larger pool of guys to choose from and you will find one that you like and can have a good relationship with, and he may have originally been eliminated. My girlfriend would have been eliminated by my preferences, but I gave her a chance, we've been going out for over 5 years and are planning marriage.

[SeaStorm1]

I'm only see players are too good looking and nope i don't find them attractive after i found out that were player. i don't like tall men. would prefer short men.

[Twalli]

Physically attractive. Also, you can find a good number of short single men, as long as you mean 5'6" and under. If you mean short like my height 5'4" and below there are fewer because we're in the minority, although most of us are probably single.

[SeaStorm1]

cool the older the guy get can also become shorter by term people user shinking? in my college short men has no isuse with getting girfirend or girls if they were on good looking side ,

[Twalli]

If you're willing to go for geriatric men, sure they'll be short. My dad was born in 1952 and he's still the height he was when he was in his 20s. He has more wrinkles and greying hair, but that's because the skin doesn't stop growing.
If you think short men can get girls easily, you are mistaken. It's not easy for us because a girl will generally choose a taller guy who may not be as physically attractive as the shorter guy due to height. It's an "illusion of protection" that a taller guy provides. It's bullshit because I can probably protect a lot better than taller guys, especially if I care about the person.

[SeaStorm1]

I can't date that old men. i has be near my age or only age 30 . 50 is not in my age range. nope is wasn't in my college both short men has more succeful with women. my college was a learning disabilities special college. some of girls did get mad other girls were jelous.

[Twalli]

I went to two liberal arts colleges, it took me 10 years but I finally got a degree, a learning disabilities one may have been better.

[Lily_lilac]

Personally think, never fall for guy easily. You can go out with them and see how y'all click, but bear in mind, sometimes when a guy is toooo smooth at flirting and rush things, most of the time, that didn't end well.. So if that ever happen, instead of being melted easily, you should start to be more aware and guarded up…

[lightbulb27]

Tell us about the traumatic emotionally or physically impacting events in your early life. Eg i wonder the source of your ‘disability’. If there is such issues then that may be root cause if the attractions. Solve that and attract better guys.

[strateguy632]

the way to help distinguish is to always only meet the guy in a group with your friends a few times. ask them what they feel about the guy then decide if you wanna date him.

[DextroShade]

You will have to date the nice but boring guys, they will treat you well. Hopefully you haven't been ran-through by too many players to pair-bond with a good man and treat him well.

[Christoff92]

See how well he performs his body language around you.