Why would he avoid me like this?

[Anonymous]

Me and my gym crush would work out together, but we never spoke to each other. And for the last two days we’ve kind of been mad at each other or more so probably fed up. I go to the gym very early in the morning
And my crush arrives a couple hours after and today as I walked in he was there probably trying to avoid me and after a couple minutes after he saw me he left quickly

[DaveJord]

So here is my thing honestly about gym and fitness types and their relationships. Working out is really and investment you are making into yourself. I am a reasonably fit guy, but I am not going to the gym or running 10 miles a day. Because people that do that type of things, like extreme cross fit, weightlifting, and training for marathons, usually don't see how those individual investments in themselves can affect the time investment you put into a relationship.

People that work out all the time, tend to see their commitment to health and fitness as means to boost their own self-esteem and value. They make the time they spend in the gym as their own personal space, and they use that time to address their own mental and physcial needs. So combining dating and working can cause issues... because you not letting that other person into your personal space.

And when got two people that into putting that amount time into investing into themselves, they can become self-indulgent to the point that they can see how that impacts other people. So, I will assume you both are people that take a lot of pride and draw a lot of your self-esteem from working out. So, when conflict arises you tend to retreat into your own safe and personal space... and if that is the gym, and that is main pillar of your lifestyle then there is no room for you to grow as a couple.

I will admit that there is a lot of generalization and assumptions I am making here. I am taking in very general terms. Because I just broke up with woman training for a marathon, running 50 miles a week and tampering off... between work, kids and training she had no time to make for dating unless you wanted to spend 10 plus hours a week training with her. Yes, she was very fit, but she was doing that for her... not for me. It was personal investment that was taking way from her ability to invest in a real relationship.

So maybe there is some of that going on... and maybe spending time together in the gym is not what's best for you two, if you are not making more time to invest in each other outside of it.

[Anonymous]

You draw a lot of conclusions in your mind when really you could just talk to the guy. I don't know how it is you work out as a pair and haven’t said a word to each other in the first place, but all that says to me is that you don’t know him at all, so how can you gauge if he’s mad? Mad for what you’ve never spoken? He could have things in his personal life going on, which you would know if you asked.