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If a guy pays for a first date, and she doesn't want a second date, should she pay him the money back? (Page 2)
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No. If you don't want to pay for the first date, go Dutch.
If you pay for a date, you're giving up that money.
If you don't want to risk feeling broke if you don't get a second date, don't pay for the first one.
no it's for a chance to get to know each other, which you had
How are we supposed to even attempt that? In the U. S., a "date" now consists of taking out what's likely 1 of the millions of raging puffy eyes alcoholics who wear bug sunglasses to hide the hangover 5 days weekly. Before I could even ask, she'll already have had 15 drinks, misplaced her purse, dropped her money on the ground in the bar or forgotten where she is.🙄If I were to attempt to do that, I mean.
yes if it goes beyond a set budget
if a guy intends to pay $100 for a date, he shouldn't have to end up paying $3000 because she wanted to use him for his wallet
Me personally, pay for what I ordered, so we never get to an awkward question like this one. Should she pay him back? No. He decided to pay, his choice. He doesn't have to. A gift. Gifts shouldn't be returned.
Age: 68
Seems about right that you would turn dating and romance into a transactional affair.
That's because women during his era made it exactly that. They had to be financially supported and catered to.
Don’t make it seem like women had a choice to do so. Most banks wouldn’t allow women to have bank accounts in their own name without a husband until 1974, around the time the poster in question would have been about 19. The world didn’t like women back then, and women knew that it was safer - literally as the 1970’s was the beginning of the serial killer trend in the United States, which is now the producer of 60% of all serial killers in human history, and women were the majority victims. They knew it was safer to be married than to be single as single women were targeted more both for discrimination in their independence, women were denied jobs because of their marital status as well. Do not assume that women had a choice when the people in charge forced them to make marriage a transaction, but I do blame the poster for not getting with the times 40 years later.
You mentioned women marrying for security but men are violently assaulted far more than women are and in 2016 men were actually raped more than women in the USA.
Well regardless of how I came about, he grew up with women expecting him to pony up the dough. Marriage historically has been strictly transactional and has had very little to do with love.
*how it came about
I’m agreeing it was an expectation, but NOT because women were the ones in control of those expectations. Your statement came off as if women were and continue to be the problem with society. I know you’re not so thick as to assume that all fault in every situation between men and women lies exclusively with women.
@cupcakethedestroyer
![If a guy pays for a first date, and she doesn't want a second date, should she pay him the money back?]()
Wow! You have made all kinds of assumptions about me when you don't even have a clue what my position is on this question! And your rendition of the history of women in the 70s is pure fairy dust and unicorn poop! Is that the mush they filled the heads of people in your generation with in the schools? Scary!
They certainly do have that expectation now. A lot of women are very transactional and will require men to make six figures and look like models.
Gee, how romantic.
Women control the flow of dating and relationships because they are the ones in demand. That is just how it is, us men have no say over what goes on anymore.
no wonder she doesn't want a second date... lmfao
Nope. Like buying a lottery ticket, sometimes you win, sometimes not. I'm not talking about just sex. I'm talking if she interested him for an encore.
No, men should always pay. And she did you a favor by declining a second date as there are women who would make you take then on as many dates as possible for meals and experiences as they can get.
If a guy chose to pay for the first date, he shouldn't get his money back just cause it didn't work out. If you're worried about this then make the first date cheep or tell her to pay for her half before the date. 🙄
Gifts are gifts, freely given with no strings attached. Tell a woman ahead of time that she can order the most expensive food on the menu, but you don’t pay for alcohol and that will weed out many of the problem women before the date.
If you ask her out you are paying. If I asked you to my home to dinner I wouldn't expect you to cook. If i offered you a lift in my car I wouldn't expect you to drive. If I offered you a bj I wouldn't expect you to suck your own dick.
Holy crap, people make this topic so much more complicated than it needs to be. Just talk like adults and work it out.
No, it's honestly his fault. Men are so quick to ask a good on a date. He could have saved his time and money by getting to know her a little more. That said, she is a POS for using him as a 'foodie call'.
No.
In 30 years will it make a difference?
You went on a date, it didn't work out.
We've all been there.
It happens, so move on.
That is why I usually pay if I know I'm not really into the guy..
If thats the case why don't you split the check.. save the hassle
What if you went for coffee and it was 5 bucks? Would it make you feel better to give him the money, or is it somehow the principle of the thing?
From a man's perspective, she doesn't owe anything. He asked her, paid for the date and now it's over. It didn't work out and sometimes that's how the cookie crumbles.
First date is about getting to know each other, so that means, that when I had some date I always agreed on with the girl, that we'll take it simple, so that means being outside and enjoying time together.