Do very handsome men/beautiful women intimidate you?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Usually, I don’t feel intimidated other than before dates, on dates I usually feel comfortable or at least, act so.

But yesterday when I had a 2nd date with that man, I felt very shy, because he looked just so handsome, good looking, sophisticated, very high quality man I’ve seen in movies being with very beautiful women.

I was thinking he could pick any woman and she’d be with him and I was so nervous, I think my face gave it away 😅

I kissed him to make myself less nervous, because I wanted to ground myself that he was real.

I have dated men as handsome as him, I had a boyfriend like that too, but they weren’t as successful as he is and I was always thinking that we were equals, because at least I was at the same level of success as them.

But this time I felt like I was not all that good for him and he had model girlfriends, he had beautiful actress girlfriends and so on. He has lived his best life and what is something I can contribute to his life?

Updates

8 mo

My grandma used to tell me men should be a bit more handsome than monkey.

He’s definitely a lot more handsome than a monkey 🤣

I don’t know why I self sabotage things with handsome men, but seems like I do.

[molonski2]

Seriously , its your own insecurity , your place is there , you are where you should be , he has had a little more time to establish himself.

I think I've very rarely been intimidated myself , but I once took out this Indonesian girl in Phuket , normally Indonesia , not that beautiful , but this girl " Wow " ! All the usual stuff , great job , company car , blah , blah , blah , and we were walking down the street in Kata ( plenty of stunning women ) , but just every guy , married , girlfriend or not , just had their tongues hanging out , it was along the lines of WTF? We actually had a really nice night , really late night , I felt like I should be taking photos of her or something , that day I certainly felt some intimidation.

When I went out with the Vietnamese model , who lived in Germany , literally everyday , people would stop her in the street and tell her how fantastic she was , yet she did not intimidate me , because I saw all the preparation , and I saw how badly she needed the affirmation , everyday.

[Finchie40]

That’s the thing , most of us are our own worst enemy when it comes to meeting someone we find absolutely beautiful or amazing , we tend to attack ourselves thinking what does this person see in me? But the truth is they are more than likely thinking the same thing about you. They wouldn’t be going on a date with you , if they didn’t find you attractive and beautiful as well , so it’s best to try to let that go and be yourself. A man isn’t going to waste his time with a girl he doesn’t find attractive and doesn’t want to see. again , Now whether he just wants to bang you or continue seeing you on the long haul is a whole different story , something only you can decide on whether that’s the case or not. But other than that I use to be shy as well when it came to a beautiful girl I was interested in and would automatically assume she would want nothing to do with me , when I got over that shyness and realized I am who I am , take it or leave it attitude kicked in , my cell phone was filling up with girls numbers to the point I felt like damn I must be a pimp lol but I realized confidence and just being yourself is what attracts most girls’

[Ms_Facesitter]

No, they're just people. Now a very successful person doing something I love, but mastered it to a T, that person intimidates me, in a good way :)

[Avicenna]

Very attractive women do not intimidate me. I talk to them just like I would any other woman. Many of them actually appreciate that.

[Friendlybro79]

I'm not sure if you're in therapy but it's possible you don't know why you self sabotage things with handsome men and seem to prioritize looks more than anything is because you're not in therapy or have a bad therapist if you are. I am very pro therapy and think most people should go every now and then just for a check in at least or for some to truly get to the bottom of some of the questions you bring up. It's very helpful. In a way you asking strangers these questions is admittance you're looking for help. Why not talk to a professional if you're not already? They're so much better than us.

And I should note that doesn't mean you're not supposed to or shouldn't be using get as an outlet. I think that's good too. Whatever helps but if you want to get to the bottom of something for real go to therapy.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I was in therapy after break up, but it wasn’t helping, her words only made me angry as she tried to make me find the reasoning of the break up and undervalued the huge pain I was through.

She just told me one thing, to please “go out and have a walk” because I was staying in bed and cried all days.

I went out and started living but I also got the need to share my feelings, I guess as a way of self therapy.

So, Gag is kinda like a diary for mr, I am expressing my momentarily excitements, frustrations and so on.

I am very much pro therapy as well, I think I should change a therapist. And start it every now and then, as a way if safe expression of myself.

As of looks, I know the root of it. I was a very pretty child, always at the center of attention, always secure in myself, I had a very pretty face and people used to say I looked like an angel.

That was right before the day I broke my nose when I got hit real hard by my classmate and suddenly on my angel like face, there was a nose that didn’t quite fit my face.

I tuened from a pretty child to a smart child. My brother was the pretty kid of a family. He always had everything easily, my mom was very pretty too, I saw how men liked her and some of them even favored her at 39 instead of getting their eyes on me when I was 18.

The day I broke my nose and I returned home my mom screamed shockingly, what have you done to your pretty face?

It was like I lost what I was the most proud about.

And I realized the difference of how people treat you when you are very pretty and then the next day you are suddenly flawed.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

promised myself, I would give my future the best gift a mother can give them, the best looks, that way, their life would be easier, I would also give them best education but the best looks would already make them step forward and they’d not have to go through the feeling of being the ugly duckling in the family.

My brother always wanted to be as smart as me and I always wanted to be as great looking as he was.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am not in therapy as of now. I started actively using GaG, right after I stopped the therapy about 8-9 months ago:

[Friendlybro79]

I understand you better now thank you. I agree with you thinking finding a new therapist is a good idea. Working this out means getting frustrated when a therapist asks you tough questions because it tries to get us to critically look at ourselves as part of not only possibly the problem but certainly a solution to struggles we encounter or encountered in the past.

You'd have to relinquish a little control and listen to them. So if they say twice a week for a month you do it. You're looking to make life easier and that's understandable but life isn't always easy even for good looking people so you gotta rely more on that to be happy and survive. Good luck and seriously think about therapy again. I swear I'm not trying to be a jerk and pick on you.

[Friendlybro79]

If you were my sister this is how I'd talk to you lol. I am not perfect by any means, and don't know everything, but I care to be honest from my perspective and experiences.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Thank you and thanks for making me feel understood.

As of looks, it’s my trauma,

As probably it would traumatic to everyone who is treated like an angel and a princess and the most beautiful girl by everyone and the next day it is taken away just because you broke your nose.

Suddenly the world turns not that of an easy place for you. As if you got from the prime age of 18 into the age of 60.

You still believe you are beautiful because that was something you were always told , but the world doesn’t treat you as one anymore.

You get rejected, you get invisible. That’s not a familiar feeling for you, you don’t understand what’s happening. Did the life change so drastically in a day just because you broke your nose?

In a mind of a little girl, what does it teach you? That the world was only kind to you, when you were pretty.

If a little nose can change your life that much, then looks DO matter! And they do matter a big time.

All the while you look at your super beautiful family and you suddenly don’t fit in anymore.

You look at your brother, getting everything you’d wish to have.

You try to read and not go out often anymore, you study hard and learn very early that people are not so kind and life is not so beautiful as you believed.

Things are conditional. And who knows better than you? When you with the irony of fate, somehow felt being the cutest, loveliest person and then the next day something changed about how people treat you.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Breaking my nose made me a better person. I would be a different person had I stayed as pretty as I was. I wouldn’t be as strong, empathetic, kind, understanding and independent as I am now. That experience humbled me and threw me from clouds to the ground.

But I never really wanted to be strong or independent. I wanted to be like mom, a beautiful woman, whose one word can do wonders for men around. I sometimes wished to be silly, but I had to become smart to adapt all these new challenges in my life.

I always envied my mom, she never put any effort in her life. She just was pretty and men gave her everything I dreamed of. Ultimate love, loyalty, even if she wasn’t as good of a person, she was still loved at her worst.

[Friendlybro79]

These are things a therapist can def help with because, in my opinion, there's a lot of unhealthy thoughts here and how you've connected looks to an easy life. Life isn't easy. Maybe easier for some but never easy. The idea that you want to or wanted to at one point be able to manipulate men with one word is troublesome. That's not a healthy thing to want. You should want people to like you for who you are not what you look like. Yeah looks will get in you the door but you need to have substance, you need to be able to have something else to offer or your life will get exponentially harder in upcoming years. Please go speak to someone and give it time. Don't bail on therapy because that's just bailing on yourself.

[Friendlybro79]

I didn't mean to imply you don't have anything else to offer. I meant in general

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I have a lot to offer, but still my mom has been more loved throughout her life, regardless of what she did.

She has never had her heart broken in life.

She has had her fair share of tragedies and a hard life too, but she has never had her heart broken.

I, though, have learned to be strong, smart and intuitive and it has helped me a lot to have an easy life and even help others too.

Overtime I started appreciating people who value my heart more, I know I have pretty good genes myself.

I am also with broken nose or not, very attractive and very sexual, I am an amazing girlfriend but I don’t sleep with men unless I feel they love me and I love them unconditionally.

I believe that’s something I’ve developed as a way, to only truly open up to someone who’ll accept my heart and flaws first.

Probably I should thank for this to my broken nose, as It made me much more introspective and intuitive as well as knowledgeable of people.

It gave me a lot other benefits, I would probably not have without that experience, but I still wished I was a bit more like my mom.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

And I understand what you are saying, but I am sure you’d have a huge crush on my mom too, had you seen her or talked to her and all this talk about being manipulative seductress would be thrown out of window, as you’d be very happy to be manipulated by her.

I haven’t met a man, who would be… Even though she’s already 47.

She’s just the manifestation of female sexiness and beauty.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I do indeed need to keep having therapy sessions though. It will help me make peace with myself. You are right.

[Friendlybro79]

Glad to hear this for yourself. Sounds like your mom's lived a very charmed life overall.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Yep. I do have a bit of her magnetism too, as my ex fiancé waited for me loyally for more than two years of long distance and he only broke up with me because of his family’s pressure and decision.

And he told me to always remember I am the only love of his life and the only woman he’s scared to meet again, because he knows meeting me even just once or having sex with me would make him unable to stick with his decision. Which probably means I was a very good and an irresistible girlfriend.

[Friendlybro79]

Regarding your mom I can't believe I'm almost your parents age hahaha. That cracks me up. I thought I'd stay 25 forever lol. If your mom is all those things and a wonderful person too well then yeah I understand what you mean lol. We're all human and fall in love. The first thing we noticed is looks because that's what we see first and if you have that and everything else like a good personality and loving nature well yeah. Men fall for that because what else could you want lol. I don't think that's being manipulated unless the other person doesn't love you and is pulling your strings.

[altaboy]

Yes, I have been intimidated by beautiful women. It's mostly because my brain has trouble concentrating on anything but them, at least at first. That's probably why I have never been terribly successful at making a good first impression with these ladies.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I have seen a lot of pretty women in my life and interact with some but only one that made me feel star stuck when I looked upon her as she was just too damn pretty from head to toe but once I started to speak with her I no longer felt star struck or nervous because she was so cool to talk to; nevertheless I never feel intimidated be a beautiful woman.

[Sonorous]

Probably both. But morso beautiful or extremely competent men. Some dudes are so pretty &/or competent that it makes you just wanna give up on trying. 🤣 Cause no matter what you do, you'll never look or be as good as them.

[Anonymous]

No. Half the beautiful looking women are idiots, not solely because they're women, but because half the people you meet are idiots. Once they start speaking, they're not so beautiful. As for guys, I don't care if they're jacked up and physically strong because half of them are idiots too. They can date the women who are and neither of them will know it, and they'll be happy. Problem is they usually make more idiot babies.

[Staximus]

Not really. Beautiful women used to kind of intimidate me but now I see so many at work, they are just another face.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I have 3 very handsome, white black and Asian guys at my office. They are really hot and I am not intimidated by them.

This one is another level handsome.

[turnpost]

How tall?

[msc545]

You are still obsessed with appearance to the detriment of everything else.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Any ideas how to care less about that?

[msc545]

Try to remember that when you are with a good-looking person every other woman around is going to try to steal him from you.

Also, looks do not equate to intelligence, personality, or morals. Some of the best-looking women I've known have been the worst, most boring, immoral people imaginable.

Looks always fade with time and not much of it. Stupid, dull and immoral are forever.

[Grond21]

When we think someone is so beautiful or they are out of our league, we all get nervous. Every single one of us.

[Andres77]

Patience, dear. He has to earn you over time. Quality. Actions. Consistency.

[Sparkie460]

Nobody intimidates me. We are all human so that makes us equal.

[ProbablyClueless]

Nope... the only time I'm intimidated by women is when I have to talk with them but I get the DISTINCT impression that they actively dislike me.

[genericname85]

can someone please finally womansplain to me, why women always choose the word "intimidation" to label any reasons why men do not prefer certain women?

[Billlewis]

Very much so, because I know that they're much too good for me and I just naturally want to be subservient to them.

[kakaling]

Yes, I feel difficult to get close to women wearing revealing sexy clothing.

[Anonymous]

I'm 194cm and very handsome. Women are intimidated by my looks and height.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Okay, so have you ever liked someone who felt intimidated by your looks?

[turnpost]

Wth does intimidated by your looks even mean? Are you scared?

Are you like super turned on by the person because your phrasing it weird.

[turnpost]

yes he just said that

[Opinion Owner]

If I'm honest it's kind of a turn off if a women is intimidated by my looks. Just because the fact I have to live up to certain expectation that they have of me and I can't cope with that stress lol. I'm more relaxed around a woman who doesn't put me on a pedestal.

[turnpost]

Yeah that stuff, is lust, this will fade as the novelty fades and these interaction are super shallow (as in lacking depth).

I don't know if op wants to hammer the nail or just leave? Hiw to be less intimidated, probably ask the oartner to be less intimidating probably conisder it a compliment.

[Jamie05rhs]

Well, at least you have great tits!
So I don't think you have any reason to feel insecure.
Walk talk and proud, sister!

[Jamie05rhs]

"tall"

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Lol

And that’s enough to walk proud and tall? 🤣

[Jamie05rhs]

Indeed! Yes, ma'am! 🤠👍

[DummyThiccFeraligatr]

Eh, not really. The hot guys and girls sweat, burp, s**t, and piss like everyone else.

Some of them do have attitudes that annoy me away, though.

[KrakenAttackin]

Most men never get a chance with a super attractive woman. So are regular men intimidated? I would say most men realize that super attractive women aren't worth the effort.

[Anonymous]

As much as I don’t wanna admit that, yes beautiful woman can b intimidating. But in a good way.