Hi. My boyfriend has had a past where he has had flings, and long term relationships. To be honest, some of the girls he was with make me insecure because they are super pretty and he seemed to have liked them a lot but due to circumstances they are not together. The thing is when I bring up my insecurities to him, he gets annoyed because he doesn’t like me being insecure about those things or answering questions about it. I am someone who has not had a past before since he is my first boyfriend. He has done a lot of crazy things too in the past (lived the true American college life I would say) but he has settled down now and I’m the shy and introverted one who has never done any of these things. I keep feeling bad that I have not done anything out of my comfort zone like him before and never dated other guys too. How do I stop become insecure of his past relationships and flings and the things he has done in the past?
' I keep feeling bad that I have not done anything out of my comfort zone'
I don't see how partying, having flings, excess alcohol, drugs or whatever else that came with, should be something you felt bad about not doing. What has happened here is you are not compatible, but it's likely you aren't attracted to the sort of guys that had the sense not to take part in all of that behavior. Thus here you are... fighting what your spirit is desperately screaming out Vs your flesh that desires him.
Galatians 5:17
17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.
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You don't. You have those feelings for a reason. It's like fight or flight. It's there to protect you.
I would also get annoyed to if someone was annoying me because of their own insecurities. At the end of the day, your insecurity are your own issues not his.
You have to learn to accept he had a past and move on or break up with him because it will likely get to the point where he will dump you if you don't stop
By dumping him and getting a better boyfriend that isn't shameful.
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He's an ex, so focus on the future and be glad you are rid of him.
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