If you have too much baggage, should you be in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I don’t think so. That wouldn’t be fair to the person you want a relationship with.

[crossdressingrihno]

Baggage just comes with life. If you don’t have baggage before a relationship, you certainly will have some after you’re in one for a while.
The point of being in a relationship is helping each other out with such things, and improving yourselves together to make each other happy. It’s not the starting line that matters it’s the journey and the end. If you start off bad, but you have a good journey and the destination is good then it doesn’t matter. If the journey wasn’t good, then it was never gonna be good.

[Astarlessnightsky]

Whats up with this new wave of people telling other people they shouldn't be in a relationship?

[Asker]

You can be in a relationship. But, you don’t want too much baggage where it’ll repel people from wanting to be with you. You won’t have a healthy relationship if you drag your partner through your mess.

[Astarlessnightsky]

Everyone has some bagagge here and there, but you can always make it work.

But what i meant are the countless questions asking wether someone with this or that attribute should be in a relationship, its like a pandemic. Because everyone should or shouldn't be in a relationsship, wether he/she wants it this or that way.

[Asker]

Because it means the relationship won’t last. You’ll end up losing your partner.

[ProbablyClueless]

No, but everybody has baggage, so it's kind of a balancing act.

[Asker]

I have a lot of mental baggage. It would be too much.

[ProbablyClueless]

It's good that you've been able to identify that about yourself, though! Maybe you aren't as far off as you think?

[Asker]

I don’t know. It’s going to probably take me a couple, or more, years to fix myself.

[Asker]

Until then, no relationships.

[ProbablyClueless]

Take the time you need! There's certainly no rush.

[Asker]

But, what should I do if a guy shows interest? That’s one of my main worries.

[ProbablyClueless]

All you can do is clearly tell them that you aren't interested in dating. You don't have to get super forceful and weird about it. Just say "no" and be firm about it. At the end of the day, the only thing you can control is your own actions.

[Asker]

I can do that. But, what if he pursues?

[Asker]

Like, he wants to know why I’m not interested?

[Asker]

Because I don’t want him to say he’ll wait until I’m ready. I would want him to move on.

[ProbablyClueless]

You owe people a statement of whether or not you are interested in dating them, but you don't owe them an explanation. You can just tell them "I am not interested in dating you." If they ask why, you can reply; "why am I not interested? Because I'm just not interested."

Being firm with someone isn't a personal attack.

[Asker]

Ok, here’s another possible scenario. Say the guy is my friend but wants to go out. Same thing, right?

[loveslongnails]

Everyone has baggage, so how much is too much?

[Asker]

In my case, it’s mental baggage. So that would definitely be too much.

[ohmyguy]

Sure as long as one can carry it them selves its possible...

[eagle1951]

I think that it should be up to the person you going to be in a relationship with, if they know what going on and choose to stay, then so be it

[Asker]

I would not let them stay. I would encourage them to find someone else.

[dudeinohio]

It depends on whether or not you can work through it.

[havingfun2023]

It's why I'm not in one ✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻😋

[Jennz6]

Don’t we all have baggage issues?

[Asker]

Yeah, but most are more severe than others.

[Jennz6]

@sasha0426 oh okay sorry