Do you carry some burdens of your toxic relationship to your new relationships?

[Kulotz]

I had a very bad toxic relationship couple of years ago.. Now I am in a healthy relationship, but I realized sometimes the way I perceive things has changed because of my ex toxic partner.. Sometimes I feel like my boyfriend might be not cool with a situation because of my experience with my ex partner.. When I ask him, he says that the situation is totally normal, he even jokes about it.., he tells me not to worry. Have you experience that?

[Finchie40]

My toxic relationships has taught me , what not to accept with someone new. Why boundaries are important to me , when entering a relationship with someone , things that should be addressed and talked about , before giving your heart and committing to someone new. I take commitment seriously , I will be upfront with her and tell her what I am looking for , giving her a choice on whether she wants to be with me or not , Honesty is key to any relationship, if you can’t be honest then don’t Get into a relationship period. I only date girls’ that are honest with me that isn’t selfish , the wears my shoes the same way she wants me wearing hers. I will not give my heart to a girl that is selfish that only cares about herself and what is best for herself , Selfish girls’ are a big turn off to me , it’s her way or no way , I will not stay with a girl that has that selfish mindset , I make sleep with her out of convenience but she will not be my priority

[blueonblack22]

It’s natural to compare your new partner to your old one. But it’s your responsibility to control your own thinking to not unfairly judge what’s in front of you because what you experienced in the past.

It’s a mental shortcut to generalize an entire gender. Each man is unique with his strengths and flaws. Yes there are some common behaviors by how men act. But in reality men are more different then similar when you really get to know them.

If you are struggling with this I recommend getting some professional advice or talk to an older/experienced woman on how to judge your boyfriend fairly.

[DishLady]

TBH, most people do. Some because they’ve learned from their mistakes and some because the toxicity is still lingering from the past relationship. If you’re part of the first group, learn and move on; don’t harangue your new partner/SO with the old you; be fully present with them. If you’re part of the second group, therapy may be needed to suck the venom out of your heart so you can have a healthy relationship in the future.

[Anonymous]

Yeah but I’m working on it. My boyfriend has to point it out to me sometimes bcs I’m just not aware of my patterns but it’s helping me overcome those negative traits.

[AI Opinion]

Diving straight into the heart of relationships here, aren't we? You're definitely not alone in carrying the baggage from a past toxic relationship into a new, healthier one. It's like watching a horror movie and then being spooked by every creek in your house. Your past experiences have tuned you into expecting certain reactions, but remember, your new beau is not your ex (thank goodness, right?). It's fantastic that you've found someone who not only understands your worries but also has the patience to joke about it. That's a green flag, my friend! Opening up to him about these fears and communicating when these shadows from your past creep in is key. It's like shedding light in a dark room - suddenly, those monsters under the bed don't seem so scary anymore. Keep cherishing that understanding and communication; it's the ultimate ghostbuster for relationship worries. 😉

[nawtee_me]

We all carry unresolved issues around with us looking for someone to blame or unload them on.

My litmus test is asking if they have forgiven their ex for the hurt and pain they had caused them. If no then I try to get them to forgive them. If yes, then I ask them about it to see if it brings up old feelings or if they have indeed forgiven them.

If I am going into a new relationship I want to do it with me and her, not me and her and her ex. I am not into threesomes with an ex….

[Miristheiss]

Toxic?

People fling that word around way, way too much. These cultural "buzz" words get popular then people just self diagnose everything under the guise of these buzz words.

Everyone calls everything and everyone "toxic".

[Flatmanlewis]

Yes. I did and I’ve worked to minimize those over the years. I think the lessons learned mostly made me better off for future relationships but there is still some negativity which could always linger behind.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely. I don't associate with women in the USA at all now, unless they're immigrants. That's not just from past relationships with women... it's past interactions with them period, about 97 percent of them. Best to just wipe them out of the picture completely until I cross the border again.

[AmyHew1tt]

From my relationship with my dad, and a very long friendship, yes I do. But I am working on not letting it affect my future relationships.

[ProbablyClueless]

Yeah, that kind of thing is extremely common. Life experiences shape how we see the world. You have to be super intentional about not letting previous baggage into your relationships.

[DextroShade]

Kevin Samuels said it best: "Punishing the men in your present for the mistakes of men in your past equals no future."

Men tend to learn from toxic women while women tend to get destroyed by toxic men.

[Sevenpointfive]

i'm a bit more selective with my relationships, but if you jump into one too fast it's likely you will commit the same mistakes from the past.

[Unit1]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QE5DEQjmoQ

,.,.,

[DrPepper12]

I think it's unavoidable but must be minimized for the new relationship and bravely faced if you want to move on.

[Blueeyes81]

Everyone does. It's our experiences that shape us and there is not a person alive who doesn't carry some sort of baggage from past trauma.

[red324]

Yeah all I meet are narcissistic psychos. Can't ever find a normal girl that's down for dinner and a movie

[LiamJHayden]

Nope. Each person is an individual and I would not burden the next girl because of the drama imposed by the last.

[Massageman]

We ALL carry the sum of ALL our prior experiences- good or bad- with us into the future.

[TacosRAwesome]

Sometimes. I try not to but some things hit me in the wrong spot.

[SolitarySolace]

Nope. Because my previous toxic relationships are why I don't have relationships anymore 😁

[CocacolaGirl1993]

Cause that’s what you dealt with your use to it. And newness of the relationship just use to it.

[Vick2828]

Always remember your new partner is not your last

[Sabretooth]

Just don't normalize it.

[itsclearlynicholas]

I'd aim not to 🚫

[laly520]

I don't carry any

[Charliefretz329]

Yeppers