Would you date a man or a woman who is rich but won't spend any of it on you until both of you are married?

[coachTanthony]

[CubsterShura]

Absolutely not.

There are personal boundaries like sex, living together, making big changes in life/career that are fine to not do or limit before marriage, but the money aspect is particularly wack.

I'll bring up the same point that I mentioned in my other answer. Do you not spend money on your other loved ones? I don't know about you but if I had money, and when I did, I've spent very generously on others. From surprise birthday cake and pizza to even giving my best friend a few hundred dollars to enter college because she could not afford the admission fees, and it's not like I earned a lot, I'm just a broke college kid who was doing a minimum wage job in the summer. My boyfriend is saving up to take his parents on a trip with his money, he is also a student like me. That's what we do for people we care about when we don't even have a lot of money, hell yeah I'd be spending more on them if I could, I'd be happy to buy my mom and sister and besties more expensive stuff. Anyone who is stuck up with their money to the point that they stubbornly don't want to spend on their partner until they marry... that's just someone I don't find with dating to begin with.

Think of this from another angle, if a woman is generally very fashionable and likes wearing makeup and doing her hair and all but only around her partner she chooses to wear no makeup and plain clothes because he should love her the way she is naturally, if a person loves cooking and always cooks for other people but don't do it for their partner because they don't want to give their unmarried partner marriage treatment already... you will be weirded out.

Like literally no woman expects her rich boyfriend to just buy her a whole house or something, but if you're actively giving less than you can afford to then that is a huge red flag. Don't tell me that in that sense women should be giving sex with their partners, unless you have sex with your family and friends too and your perfect Thanksgiving dinner ends with a course of orgy.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I don’t date people for their money or for what they’ll spend on me…. I have a job for that🤷‍♀️ maybe dating/relationships are failing because people (out at least people on GAG) are making it all about sex or money and finding/being with someone, being in a relationship, sharing your life with someone is about SO MUCH MORE than EITHER of those things… And until people REALLY get that, they’ll keep failing in finding love or real happiness… 🤷‍♀️

[coachTanthony]

I feel it will happen soon lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

When people open their eyes and their heart… maybe 🤷‍♀️

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Not necessarily.

Let's say she wants to go on a trip so we plan out a road trip where we go somewhere a few days away and she's picking all these nice hotels and wants to drink at all nice places.

I understand not wanting to be taken advantage of but if she can't understand that she's putting me in a worse version of the situation she was trying to avoid by doing stuff like that, we'll that's a pretty big red flag for me.

I don't need her to pay my bills or buy me stuff just because I want it and can't afford it. It would be nice, but it's not something I would consider a mark for or against her whether she did it or not.

[Lionman95]

No because that would mean they are using me for something but they don´t show interest. I don´t care about expensive cars or other assests but for me paying on a date or bringing something on a date to contribute is something that shows the interest is mutual.

[coachTanthony]

The interest is mutual because you both showed up. Both of you can pay for yourself.

[Lionman95]

To me showing up is more a polite gesture for me that´s not enough. Nonetheless the financial questions are not that much important for me it would depend on how we get along because if we develop a deeper connection and get along well I´d might say yes.

[fonduegirl]

What's the point of dating someone wealthy if they're not going to pay for my measly meal?

Also, while we're on this, rich people usually have the worst personality.

I'm not putting with crap without getting wealthy privileges. That's foolish.

[DaySpring]

@anon1903 No wealthy people usually have the better personalities. That's part of why they are rich. Poor people just don't relate to them as much. Rich means you provide way more service than the average human. You give way more. Poor people are basically the most selfish people on the planet. Some are just ignorant and it is not their fault though.

[Lionman95]

I partly disagree with the both of you. I don´t think rich or poor people are worse because at least in experience wealth doesn´t determine your character. You can be a jerk no matter your education or bank account.

[DaySpring]

Character determines your wealth. That's the point I'm making. If you don't believe me go look at the stats of people trying to lose weight. You cannot change your results in life without changing you. With deep change your results are temporary. Trump is a great example. He wasn't reelected for a reason. If he had a better character he would have been. The most poor people have the worse character as it relates to money wealth. The poorest people in relationships have the poorest character as it relates to relationships. The best basketball players have the best character as it relates to basketball. Wealth comes in all forms. You put out good... You get good back. It's not an accident. It's a lot deeper than people think. The whole bible is about this. People get stuck on the surface of the words and don't understand what I'm saying.

Personally I cannot shame anyone for not trusting most people. Most people dont wanna be gold diggers but when they have an easy opportunity I bet those "good people" become bad. Most people cannot even give up all sexual activities for a year. Why? Because they don't have self control. They wanna do good and be better versions of themselves but how many people actually do it when it's time to do it?

[DaySpring]

Without deep change your results are tempt*

[Lionman95]

@DaySpring Yes on that part I agree. I would also say that your character determines how your life goes but I would at least it depends on your point of view whether rich people have better character traits as poor people. Because that depends on what´s good in that area. Yes self made rich people have the character to reach the high potential of their life and those character traits could therefore be seen good.
But at the same time they can be bad for society or bad for the common good because from my experience rich people are prefering to spend on themselves, on their kids but are not the kind of people that give money away without looking at their own benefit. But as said that´s just my experience.

[Lionman95]

Thanks for the MHO.

[Rei13]

I don’t date people for their money and have my own job so it makes no difference to me. However my boyfriend will pay for me when we go on trips since he can afford to and we’ve talked about it. If I had to pay for myself we wouldn’t be going on those trips together since I can’t afford it. Which would also be okay on my end. However he would rather us make those memories together and I give back in other ways. I think too many people get caught up on money, sex, etc. Sure it can be important but it isn’t the end all be all

[silyt_ghoest]

i would never be able to use the money, lmao. massive fear of marriage. I don't know, i just think the second you’re told you have to do something, you’re not going to want to. marriage is a promise to stay together no matter what. i think i wouldn’t be able to commit to something i can’t leave. but sure, lmao, ill just use my own money.

[coachTanthony]

Okay yo

[provokeesmokee]

I wouldn't want to date someone too rich. Private jet rich is something I'm just not into. It's gross and, in my values, wrong.

I also wouldn't want someone so money obsessed it becomes a gatekeep to their relationship.

I also wouldn't want that money spent on me. It's basically dirty money and my love can't be bought.

I do respect their view, but if they're too purse string-tight to date me, then they're simply too poor for me.

[coachTanthony]

"Private jet rich is something I'm just not into."

[provokeesmokee]

It's true. Unless it's a fully electric plane, then I'm cooler with it.

But to me, if you have the money for a private jet, there's thousands of better ways to spend your money.

A private jet to me is a signal of someone more concerned with playing "catch up to the Joneses'" than actually using their wealth in constructive ways.

Doesn't matter if you're poor or wealthy to me - if you're obsessed with signaling wealth, I'm not interested.

[coachTanthony]

"Unless it's a fully electric plane, then I'm cooler with it."

[DaySpring]

Lol. Yet if you had the ability to have a private jet I bet you would have one. Talk is cheap. Everyone knows how to be better very few do it. Because poverty is a mental disease. Same as losing. "I wouldn't date someone that is too rich" Mental disease. You can see the mental disease in the rest of her comment coming out. Guess what missy... Rich people provide more service than you and they give way more than you to humanity... That's why they get so much.

[Meropatrick]

@coachTanthony👍😂

[Meropatrick]

So if someome told u take a private jet or fly with delta airlines while a toddler is screeching in ur ears and someone hitting ur seat from behind and the flight attendant keeps pumping into ur shoulder while walking up and down the aisle u will choose the latter amd not the privte jet? Get outta here 😏

[provokeesmokee]

Lol, so many poor men with "I wanna be Andrew Taint" syndrome.

Keep thinking money is how to get women, boys! It absolutely won't fail you, lol. 🤣

[mobiusforniner]

As far as private jets go, thats a Lear 25. Theyre like 45 year old airframes. Basic avionics, fuel inefficient, noisy. You can buy one of those in the $150k to $450k range.

Personally, if i were rich, id go with dassault falcon.

Have some taste here, coach!

[coachTanthony]

LOL sorry I'll do better next time

[RingOfFire]

Couldn't say... I'm not attracted to rich women. I grew up around them and it turns me off. But I can see how men don't want to get too lavish with women before marriage. I actually try to hide my wealth from women if I date them because once they know about it you can't be sure if it is you or your money they are after. It is a major issue actually, it makes it hard to trust someone.

[coachTanthony]

Oh I don't know... if she wants to buy me a porsche I would at least think about it lol

[RingOfFire]

🤔You got a point there coach.

[Anonymous]

not even any birthday presents? kind of cold, don't you think? especially if the girl gets him gifts? it doesn't have to be expensive, jesus... i'm okay with $10 flowers, some chocolates, a home cooked meal... just has to show you care. which i guess that rich guy doesn't. so no, i wouldn't.

[coachTanthony]

Maybe if she's a good girl.

[Opinion Owner]

ew...

[Dinklex3]

Hmmm.
Rich or not, I have my own money so I don’t need anyone to spend money on me. Anything I want, I usually get myself.

But if that was a specific requirement then I’d pass. I don’t find it a big deal to pay for my significant other’s meal, buy him breakfast, bring him lunch, make him dinner, bring him stuff while he’s sick, or treat him on his birthday… To specifically require and nickel and dime me if I want medicine or a sandwich or something sounds petty. That makes it seem like some kind of transition and that they’re looking down on me as if they’re some prize just because they’re rich. Doesn’t seem like much of a relationship if that’s his priority.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Well simple act of dating costs SOME money. I'll spend on her what she spends on me. Won't even get me a Christmas present/card/something? Okay we can take a lot of trips to the park. As long as we alternate who is driving because I'm not paying for all the gas.

[electromagnetic]

Crazy me says any man who wants to get married for me to spend their money, I’ll wait and waste time and if we don’t get married, I’ll hold him at pew pew point and demand compensation for my time wasted before we part ways.

Realistic me knows I don’t date for money. My partner had lint and ramen noodle wrappers in his pocket when I met him. I’m not materialistically driven.

[Meropatrick]

Its very weird situation. Like why would they set that as a condition i think most rich people prefer the opposite. To date and not to marry in order to avoid someone going after their money. I would indeed ask them why

[coachTanthony]

I mean a 5 year relationship, 1 year of engagement.. that would be a while before she could do that lol

[Meropatrick]

I think working at a minimum wage job with no future prospects is more frustrating than waiting for 6 years to live after that a life of Luxury. U will be surprised how many gold diggers would hang in there for those 6 years just to live comfortable for the rest od their lives.

[coachTanthony]

@meropatrick If you can't figure out after 6 years they are a gold digger then shame on you lol

[Meropatrick]

I think thats true 😂😂fool me once shame on u fool me for 6 years shame on me👍

[Twalli]

Depends on how much they spend on themselves. If they keep taking lavish vacations alone and buy a lot of adult toys (cars, boats, etc.) then I'd be pretty pissed. If they're not lavish with the money, then I don't mind. My parents are rich, among the richest 1% in the US. They're not lavish though. They are rich because they had good jobs and are good with money.

[England4eva]

Is this supposed to be a bad thing? Some rich guy wants to marry me 😍

[coachTanthony]

I know right lol

[England4eva]

Not only that. He's got tones of money and he isn't a player 😂

[fonduegirl]

They sound useless.

And I'm not even a gold digger. I just don't get the point of having money but not spending a penny on your partner, waiting on the wedding bells to ring. Gag reflex activated.

I respect that at some point of life, most people want to get married. That's cool. But why would you gatekeep your money while dating? Is dating not important enough for you?

[Hawkes_Lady]

I don't care how much money someone has, and that isn't why I would date someone and I definitely wouldn't marry someone just for money.

[Anemone978]

Depends... if he is loyal I wouldn't care, but if he was so stingy not even to buy me a video game or something for my birthday than no LOL

[Jersey2]

Its not supposed to be about money but I’de say that stance is weird not spending any on someone. Just go about your rich life and include one more, it costs next to nothing really. I’de want to pay my own way though at my own level of affordability so that I stay grounded and can’t be manipulated.

[ChiTown33]

Yeah, I wouldn't care if she spent any of it on me EVER! But honestly I don't see me ever being able to marry a rich woman. Not unless she had a Warren Buffet mentality towards money. Money to me is a tool, nothing more. And while I have my little splurges (everybody does). Thrift is just in my nature. I would need the woman I marry to be much the same way. And my guess if she's rich that's going to be unlikely.

[MzAsh]

If I did, I’d be seeing other men until we were married.

[marish01]

Why would a richan agree to date such a woman. I mean a woman who gets fucked by other men. Rich men have good options. A slut is a bad option.

[marish01]

A rich man*

[MzAsh]

Why would I need to date a rich man when I have all the money I want?

[marish01]

Why would you want to date a man and get fucked by other men?

[MzAsh]

If wouldn’t if he was loyal and treated me properly.

[marish01]

If he didn't then why not dump him instead of getting other dicks?

[MzAsh]

I’d dump him and just get someone better.

[marish01]

Then why can seeing other men be an option for you?

[Staximus]

Yeah, her money is not my money and mine is not hers. I don't think some rich woman is going to date an old bum like me, though haha

[Joshydavid25]

Sure... As long as she doesn't expect a broke boy like me to pay for everything when she has the means.. As long as her reasoning was okay, and not her just being selfish..

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't care. I get it. Most people will use you for your money. They cannot control themselves. It's not that people want to use you for money and sex etc... but they literally cannot control themselves.

[MikeTheBartender]

Wish this was a poll! No time to sift through the answers. But I definitely would date her. I've dated many rich chicks than never spent shit on me more than maybe a dinner here and there.

[OfMiceandMen]

If she didn't mind me getting a t-shirt made that says..."I'm with Cheapo", and finger pointing her direction.😂

[Pohjolan]

Eh her paying for herself would be a improvement from the average woman.

[Kiran_Yagami]

Yes. That's smart of her. No airplanes for me until we're married.

[msc545]

No. If I have to spend my money dating her, she can spend some of hers dating me.

[JesseP1nk]

Ofcourse. I take care of myself anyway. Makes no difference to me

[Nikki1989]

Why are men on here so obsessed with money?

[coachTanthony]

Because women want to take it from them lol

[worldscolide]

Money was never a consideration for me when i was dating.. so i have no issue with it.. I also have zero issue with holding onto my cash until i am married.. Granted im married already lol.

[DizzyDesii]

Not that I need to touch it ever, but at least once married is how it should be.

[Unit1]

But why marry?

[coachTanthony]

I am not spending my fortune on anyone but my wife. It's just how it is.

[Unit1]

For me there is no reason to marry. I don't see why men should marry. It's kind of a pointless extra with extra burdens.

[coachTanthony]

Well it's one way to avoid a gold digger. 5 year relationship , 1 year engaged then get married. Gold diggers want the gold now.

[Unit1]

And the adept gold diggers know how to get it.

[coachTanthony]

Those are far and few between. Most gold diggers are not sticking around 6 years. Not saying there are none but the likeliness of you getting played for 5 years plus is doubtful unless you're a complete idiot lol

[Unit1]

Yeah, but on the other hand the good girls aren't gonna invest 5 years either to get that marriage certificate and the bankrupt-making ceremony. Especially if they aren't young anymore.
Most girls were fed this idea, that marriage is the ultimate goal (the sooner the supposedly better).
For some reason it takes until a divorce to see that it's kind of a meaningless thing.

[Sparkie460]

I don't care how much money they have. That's not the reason I'd date them. I don't care if they don't spend any money on me

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would be living a happy and stress free life, but it's not really possible so it can be just a fantasy

[WhitneySnow]

Absolutely not

[Fuentes]

Sounds like finesse I would take call me Kevin Federline

[Quigly]

Selfish doesn't suddenly change after marriage/commitment.

[CheeseMonster]

No. I don't date, or marry.

[sushimenon]

I don't think so there's any problem

[Tomisworthless]

I wish I was rich and lonely.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely

[Drewtate]

Yes...

[shortster]

Fine by me.