My guy friend thinks, I am a very pretty girl and like all the pretty girls, am I dangerous?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I thought I was a nice person, didn’t consider myself pretty, but we were talking honestly and he said he can tell I am a walking red flag just like every girl who’s pretty like me… (Hiw words)

… We were talking honestly about our relationships, I didn’t get upset as we were telling each other our honest thoughts about relationships.

My brother thinks the same.

I thought the problem was always my looks. Seems like it’s my personality. 🤣 I don’t know whether to laugh or be sad.

I have a lot of self reflection to do. I am a bit sad, I always thought I was nice :(

Seems like men don’t think so.

Updates

6 mo

He said men fall in love with girls like me but they rarely marry them, he said that’s why most men have much hotter exes than their wives…

Updates

6 mo

Dangerous - as of not safe to have a relationship with - isn’t that a meaning of walking red flag? I am not happy about it, I am a bit sad, I am happy to realize my looks have not been a problem, but personality is a bigger issue. I didn’t know I come off as a woman who has many red flags…

[abc3643]

This question reminds me of these two songs:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/QYHxGBH6o4Mhttps://www.youtube.com/embed/z4TOR7856d4

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Eh… Reminds me of my ex. He is in a new relationship, my ex’s mother said she’s just a very average girl, I suppress her in everything, the only thing she’s doing better is cooking. My ex cooked for me, that girl cooks for him…

I do regret I didn’t learn cooking earlier, but…. anyway, there are women who don’t know how to cook and they are loved still.

[love_conquers_lust]

So you’re a walking red flag who is not allowed to be happy because you’re pretty and have a nice personality because you’re dangerous…

As it reads, your brother is stupid, so is your guy friend. What kind of moron passes up hotter women for stability? It insults both the hot women AND the girls they settle down with. That screams insecurity from them.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

No my brother has never said that, he said I have a complex personality and my ex had a good patience :)

Can’t accept any bad comment about my brother.

[love_conquers_lust]

You said “My brother thinks the same.”

I’ve said stupid shit to my sister before. So I know he can take the criticism. But you also sound like my sister, she doesn’t like people talking bad about me either. I try not to let her down.

Two years of online texting before actually dating does sound like incredible patience on your ex’s part. Torturing himself. How long did you actually date after meeting one another in person?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

We dated and lived together for a year, before two years of long distance, during which we texted and called every day for two years.

[love_conquers_lust]

I tried my hand at a LDR. We never met up. I learned a lot of important lessons. Not being in someone’s physical presence sexually frustrated is torture and it makes you act in ways you normally wouldn’t. Testosterone is a hell of a drug.

You can’t accept insults about your brother. But why is he allowed to make bad comments about you? Or rather, I just don’t agree with either your friend or your brother because they’re scared hot women will cheat on them. I see unattractive people do that. That’s why some of them will insult their spouses to bring them down to their level. I think it’s pathetic

[Anonymous]

Judging by your nickname, you asked this question just because you wanted answers like "oMg YeAh yOu’rE sOoOo dAnGErOuS."

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Veles, this nickname comes from the time I was 17… I like to think I have matured a bit after that.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

And dangerous - to have a relationship with, red flags. Not like dangerous - dangerous.

[Opinion Owner]

Feeling the need for constant approval shows that you are still 17.

[WhitneySnow]

Some guys are scared of pretty girls. Don’t take it personally.

[Andres77]

You’re “dangerous “ to yourself in that you kinda overthink everything. For now. In time you’ll pare down your thoughts and adjust your criteria. You self-sabotage but it’s ok for now because you have high standards and you’re exceptionally brilliant. You’re waiting for an equal partner. You’re NOT dangerous to men. Anyone that said anything so fearful is intimidated by you and knows he can’t handle you.

[Still-alive]

There's just this weird assumption that just because a woman is attractive she must be something of a player. Like she can get any guy she wants so when lets say you go on a date she could leave for any reason and just date another guy lined up for her.

I don't assume anything myself but this is a common thing guys think.

[Staximus]

I don't think he was talking about your personality being a problem. He was probably talking about how beautiful women attract a lot of attention from men and always have options when it comes to men. If a guy isn't a beautiful woman's best option, she can be gone with the wind the next day because there's 100 more guys barking up her tree. That will make a lot of guys insecure and they can't deal with that.

[msc545]

You can be both nice and pretty at the same time. As for dangerous, you aren't but the feelings some men have for you might make them uncomfortable. That certainly has been true for me.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

You have felt uncomfortable? I don’t want you to be.

[AmeerX]

You know the the saying is if you have a beautiful face then something is wrong with the body and if a beautiful body then something wrong with the face and if both are good and something in your character might be wrong.

It all balances out somewhere along the road.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

But I don’t sleep around, I am a hopeless romantic, I am caring, loving, patient, understanding and supportive - I thought all these things make a good person.

How come people think I am a walking red flag? :(

[AmeerX]

I was not thinking about you sleeping around. Why did you assume that's the only thing here.
I mean you could be arrogant? Or nagging to others? Or narcissist and vain. Or simply not a good cook or just a lavish spender or just quick to become aggressive. By the way, I wouldn't call it a red flag because I was just telling you a saying.

And I have seen ugly people who are far more vain and arrogant and think they are doing you a favor for a relationship.
Don't be like that.

You are not a red flag

[LazerBean]

Someone has to be extremely damaged by their past to think that being attractive means danger.

[Billlewis]

If you're attractive, then you're probably at least somewhat mean, as well, and that's how it should be;)

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Why do you think that’s how it should be?

[Billlewis]

Because the more attractive a woman is, the greater the likelihood that she's probably mean, and I think most guys expect her to be mean.

[Grond21]

It sounds like he has a lot of wounds and he is projecting them on you.

[Sevenpointfive]

i wonder what it is about your personality? they didn't mention anything specific?

[Yannae]

It can't be the looks. Looks are just looks. I sensed no danger reading this.

[jeffend888]

Why do you constantly humble brag with every single post you make?

[Jennz6]

To be happy for the rest of your life get an ugly girl to marry you

[AmeerX]

That's not true 🤣

[Jennz6]

@AmeerX I know I was kidding

[slatyb]

You are nice. They aren't.

[BLP11520]

Why are you dangerous?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Saying someone is a walking red flag means dangerous to have a relationship with right? Or maybe not safe would be a right word. Sorry, I can’t always grab the exact words I have in mind. My Vocabulary is not that rich.

[Anonymous]

I think you are overthinking his words.

[SlayingBoooty69]

yes you have a license to kill

[justabuddy]

Well... you are kinda crazy. I'm kidding