Why do girls gossip about the girls they feel envious of?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Two of my Georgian acquaintances couldn’t get over the fact that I was in the center of attention instead of them.

It all started 5 years ago when I first came to China and met some Georgians, they sometimes invited me with them.

There were people they introduced me to, there was one guy they showed me at that time and told me “He’s the sexiest guy in our friends circle, he sleeps with girls, but he never dates them. Every girl here likes him.”

I said he’s nothing special and the week later he asked me out and dated me for 2 months before I met my ex-fiancé.

These girls kind of got jealous of me at that time and they judged me.

Then I introduced them my ex-fiancé and they made some remarks about him “He’s too tall for you. Where did you find him? He looks very good but I’d be careful with such good looking men.”

and they got so jealous when he proposed to me they stopped talking to me. They were saying the two of us were too arrogant. We weren’t arrogant, I just think they were insecure and they were envious.

Now when I got back to China 7 months ago, they invited me on a dinner, and the husband of this girl, introduced me to his employer, a Chinese bank owner who obviously liked me and they wanted me to pay attention to him while having a dinner (He HAD a WIFE waiting at home), suddenly I got approached by the hottest guy there, the German guy who got me flowers, took us all dancing and kissed me and asked me out that night. Of course, I had zero interest in that married bank owner and chose to dance with that German guy instead.

These girls stopped being friends with me.

They said “You are always like that, you have too high of a view on yourself, why can’t we go out alone without you flirting with someone. You always did that, everytime we go out, someone asks you out and you get busy flirting with them, not paying any attention to us. It’s so awkward that we introduced you such a high caliber man and you left him alone to dance with someone else.”

Updates

6 mo

Seems like they didn’t get over the fact that I am somehow luckier.

They stopped being friends with me and have been gossiping about me. I heard about that by my Georgian friend who lived with me, she seems to come across the mutual acquaintance of that girl and seems that those girls say some bad things about me.

Why?

I’ve not done anything, I’ve not done anything improper. I just happen to be lucky and also, I don’t entertain married men whether they are presidents or bank owners.

Updates

6 mo

That’s not the first time it happened.

The husband of that girl is a banker and 4 years ago, they married me on their birthday event, where there were his employers, his boss and his boss’s friends.

All of em throwing themselves to me and harassing me, and the girl did nothing because It would be good for her husband’s career if the boss spent a good time there.

I embarrassed that boss and rejected him in front of everyone, cause he wasn’t stopping, tried to let me drink. Girl disliked that

[desidoll]

So that people will have negative impression on you, and eventually avoid getting closer then you will end up being alone. It is a form of bullying. This is the reason why I only have two close friends. Almost every woman I know have some sort of resentment towards me just because I am lucky in some aspects of my life. It angers me because majority of them don’t even know me personally, about my struggles and all. Even one of them knew, but that didn’t stop her from being toxic. Women always support other women who are seen as weaker than them and if you are a threat, they will find ways to cancel you before you could win them. Now I sound like a woman hater lol but I am just sick of their catty behavior. It is always a competition of who gets the most attention. They can take all of the men in the world lol, I couldn’t be bothered at all. I am married and happy with my husband.

[Janie22332]

It’s honestly a way for them to feel better about themselves, and this is a people thing in general not just in girls. Basically if they can point out flaws in someone else it helps them cope with their own flaws and insecurities. It’s immaturity really.

[Still-alive]

Well i don't think this is just a girl thing. i've known plenty of gossiper dudes irl too lol.

Anyways here are some common reasons people gossip:

• To feel superior.
• They have a sadistic personality who enjoys knowing that someone else is experiencing pain or misfortune
• They’re bored.
• Anxiety
• To feel like part of the group.

Now in your case specifically they clearly saw you as some kind of threat who 'stole their man' or something. Thats what im getting from these women you knew. And they may be just jealous you seem to get more attention from the more attractive guys so easily while they don't.

Either way i'd say cut your losses and forget about these women. they sound toxic and probably did you a favor by stop being friends with you. cause yeah friends don't do that jealous thing to other friends smh.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Thanks for the detailed answer. Did you read the whole question? I wonder why did they think it was okay for me to stay by the side of their married boss and not dance with the hottest guy there who gave me the best kiss of my life later on.

[Still-alive]

Yeah i read that part and a bit baffled by it. like he's married... so why would you dance with him when there's an attractive single guy to dance with instead? lol i don't get their logic there tbh.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

They probably think, I don’t deserve such attention and they get angry they are not the ones getting that attention.

The thing is they are pretty, it’s just my attitude always attracts more people. Even if I am not the prettiest girl in the room I am always in the center of attention of attractive men, I call it luck, but maybe I am charismatic.

They probably get angry they stay unnoticed when they go out together with me and it causes discomfort, but they are taken they have no reason to be unhappy about not getting male attention.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I think their logic was, her husband’s boss enjoying that evening as much as possible, so her husband would get a raise or something, but I am not a prostitute you can hire to entertain someone’s married boss.

[Still-alive]

haha yeah i can sense you got some kind of attractive personality irl. you can call it charisma sure. i would imagine thats the little extra edge you got over other attractive looking women.

Yeah on their part its just easier to be jealous and bitter than to put actual effort themselves. This is why you are succeeding where they are failing.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Wow! Interesting observation

How can you tell that from just knowing me online though? 😳

[Still-alive]

i pick up on vibes pretty well even online. and well i read your questions often so you do come across as someone one might easily talk to or socialize with.

i mean i could always be wrong but a lot of times im correct :P

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

And what vibes come from me? 🧚‍♀️

[Still-alive]

Well as i said in dms to you, you are definitely the contemplative type... i think most here can tell that easily by how wordy your questions are lol. and you seem to be the deeply introspective type as well. like you try to reflect on any lessons you learn through life to improve yourself. all positives in my book :)

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Oh no, in real life I am not showing how much of an overthinker I am haha

I act more cheerful

[Still-alive]

Yeah i feel like i get that from the profile pics you post on here. so yeah thats probably another edge you got over those jealous women. you're likely very pleasant to be around physically and talk to. very attractive traits in women for a lot of guys.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

In real life I am better of a listener, because it’s the number one rule of being a good flirt,

You got to listen first to know what type of play you need. I treat it like a game. And I enjoy it like a game, I take on a talkative role when a guy is shy, I take on a listening role when he is the talkative.

On Gag, I am talkative 24/7 hahaha

[Still-alive]

yes listening is definitely a good skill to have when flirting. my way is just turning things they say into a witty or cheeky bit of dialogue hehe. :P

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

You’ve got the skills!

Are you using your powers in real life?

I don’t usually flirt online. I want to see a real man, to get the motivation to flirt.

That being said I do even flirt with women… And I am heterosexual. I just think I am flirty.

And since we are not flirting, I am not trying to act cool and on GaG I am as annoying as I can be, I will ask

How do my photos show that?

“ Yeah i feel like i get that from the profile pics you post on here.”

[Still-alive]

Yeah i can easily do it irl haha.

Yeah so in your pics i see smiles often and you seem to just give off 'im having fun' vibes in your pics.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Okay, you’ll get the mho, for pleasing my ego 😂

[Still-alive]

lol well thanks. that will please my ego too ;) feeling is mutual

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

And that’s nice :)

Good luck with that.

[Sevenpointfive]

i was gifted with really good hearing. i'm pitch perfect. and it's an awful experience going out. everyone talks about me. it's usually not good. i don't understand why people talk about me without even knowing me. i did nothing to them. i'm just trying to live my life motherfuckers!

[Grond21]

Generally speaking, when girls get aggressive they use reputation destruction. When men get aggressive, we use physical destruction.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

What did they want though? Why’d they get aggressive?

[Grond21]

You are a threat. They want to take you down

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

How am I a threat? They are taken. Why are they jealous of me?

[Grond21]

For some women, they want attention regardless of their relationship status. They want to be in the limelight. And they want to be the one to make men jealous. It's a very shallow perspective, but quite common.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Well, I also think they are jealous I get the attention of attractive men that they’ve never experienced. But you’d think since they are taken they wouldn’t care about that. But seems like they do. They feel like why do I get this attention, they probably think I don’t deserve it or something.

[Grond21]

They might have experienced it, or they might not have. But clearly they do care about getting the attention. The fact that they are taken doesn't matter. Nor does it matter if they think you deserve it or not. All that matters is that they want it, and you have it.

[love_conquers_lust]

Gee, I don’t know @lafemmefatale_1 . Why do girls gossip? Why would a girl give all these details trying to decipher motivations making negative comments about each other? Whose attention are they looking for? It’s like you guys don’t even know you’re doing it. Completely unaware. Oblivious to your own nature. Or are you?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

If you didn’t notice I am quite talkative, I talk about a lot of other things, but if I somehow talk about something that you guys consider non humble, it makes me an attention seeker? I just happen to talk my unfiltered thoughts. Not caring about how I come off

[love_conquers_lust]

@lafemmefatale_1. I know, @lafemmefatale_1. Those were trap questions. You should be able to speak freely about things that concern you. I’ve had girls complain to me about other women. Your unfiltered thoughts come off as offensive to others. Their reactions aren’t something you can control. What you can control is what you say.

How do you think guys feel when women get pissed at them for being brutally honest? They like the brutal honesty when it compliments them, they hate it when it doesn’t.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t my post is offensive to anyone I don’t really think it is offensive to anyone

[love_conquers_lust]

We try not to offend anyone, ultimately it’s not up us who determine how others react, they control that. It’s an unspoken agreement. Tacit.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Your opinion did you have a reason to be offended? did you read my question?

[love_conquers_lust]

I’m not offended. I’m flattered you care about my opinion.

Yes, the girls probably didn’t like all the attention you got from those guys you were introduced to. That’s envy and jealousy.

What I’m saying is, to speak ill of others often carries risk of speaking ill of yourself. That’s why the saying goes “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” <-I don’t agree with this statement on it’s face. I don’t think anyone should oppress themselves for fear of hurting others. How else are people supposed to communicate what’s wrong or bothering them? It’s in our outlooks, how we interpret things. But again, don’t you find it odd girls will impose that double standard on guys?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t get how rich is connected to my question why not so you get to the points directly because I’m not talking to you about anyone I never gossip about anyone I don’t have time for that because I’m to be the lead in my life

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Sorry for typos I haven’t finished my walk in and I’m not typing I’m just writing with my voice so what I was saying is that I don’t understand how this reply is connected to the main question because I don’t think I’m talking ill about anyone

[scooogy]

A female co-worker got envious of another female co-worker talking to a male co-worker of ours, even though she had a boyfriend and that male co-worker was not only engaged but also just friends with the other female co-worker. It was quite a weird situation to hear her gossip about her.

[electromagnetic]

Because we want what we cannot have. So if we shit talk, it’ll give enough juujuu juice to free an ego boost.

[WhitneySnow]

They’re insecure and they project their insecurities onto you

[Sharkstealth]

Most gossip is through envy some gossip is because the door knob is getting rewarded for being a door knob.

[Jennz6]

Jealousy in action xx

[sheikalana]

They're jealous.

[nikxxs]

"pick me" alert lol.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Who should pick me, wonder sharing? ;)

I am staying anonymous here

[Still-alive]

Nice ‘new’ account you got there sir…

[Anonymous]

Jealousy.