Why do women have higher dating expectations than men and do you have high expectations on your first date?

[gayesblog]

What do you think about expectations in dating world based on gender? Do women really have higher dating expectations? What about yours?

[SlightlyBurnedPizza]

I'd say this is very split about how popular you're talking, there are a few men who are the sort of incel stereotype that just don't have access to women and they will take any chance they can get rule of supply and demand.

As a woman most guys have some sort of attraction to you because you have a hole between your legs.

As a guy only if you have certain things like good looks or a lot of money women will be interested.

At the bottom of the totem pole there are absolutely men with no standards because they don't even have access to the concept of choice when it comes to dating.

Although at the top its reversed. Since men a lot of the qualities women want are in vert short supply they will have so much choice that they have even higher standards then women if they are even looking for a monogamous relationship (most men here aren't). Once again supply and demand.

However there has been a recent decline in the role of men and women as their respective gatekeepers, as women haven't been demanding commitment before sex and laws have made marriege a minefield for men in the west men are now really raising their criteria for a spouse but not for a girlfriend.

This is just my take on it but the answer doesn't seem so black and white.

[dynamicyandere]

It’s easier for the average female to get male attention than it is for the average male to get female attention.


So, because there are more males lining up for the average woman than there are females lining up for average man, woman generally have more options.


(e. g. You can set up a dating profile with a girl that’s a 7 and a guy that’s a 7 and the girl is going to get many more matches than the guy.)


Because they have more options, they can be more picky.


Therefore, it’s understandable that women would have higher dating expectations, generally speaking.


It’s not until you get to the top percentile of men that you have men actually turning down a lot of women.


Those are the guys with options and higher standards — guys that have a reign over their sexual appetite as well as every other part of their lives — the men with their sh*t together that women compete for and other men aspire to become.


Most men have lower standards though, and often accept whatever they can get.

[Bethany22]

The male brain usually is not able to think as far ahead as the female brain generally does. Men can only think of meeting one objective at a time, whereas women can think of multiple objectives. So on a date, the man is happy enough if he's able to have sex with a woman, whereas the woman has to try and figure out with the limited information she has about the guy whether he is relationship material or not. I think she has lots of expectations early on because she hopes she has established good criterion for weeding bad guys out.

[Tim2nice]

So that means punching above your weight, right?

[Slim57]

Guys think like that too, it's not really limited to gender who thinks ahead and who doesn't

[tzdc21]

Guys have a strategy of finding out if the woman is relationship material or not too. So that's a little bit short sighted in your part for assuming how we all think.

[prettyfacegoodtaste]

pregnancy is costly and life changing for women. men can be impacted by a child too, but women take on the hardest physical, mental and emotional challenges. biology made it so that we, women, are extremely sensitive and picky to ensure our offspring have the best health (good strong genes) and chances to survive (modern day version? finances).

[coachTanthony]

I think they are just different and because they are different people can see women or men having higher or lower standards then themselves.

[rigmarole]

A woman can have whatever expectations she chooses. That said, she's being judged on every behavior she exhibits. Whatever she puts out there will determine how she's treated and if she gets taken seriously, if she gets strung along or manipulated, or is just used and thrown away... If you're being arrogant to a guy, he's going to be an asshole to you in return. If you act entitled, he's going to treat you like a gold digging prostitute. It's not like guys are just going to serve up your demands to give you the relationship you desire. It's a two way street. Whatever you do, will either positively or negatively impact how you are treated.

[rigmarole]

Women generally choose to accept or reject a date offer being that men tend to take the initiative to ask them out. So women get to make the initial decision in that regard to engage. Men in contrast get to make all the decisions on if you will ever get a relationship. You might be a one night stand, you might be a booty call, you might be some casual relationship with no serious prospects of marriage and spend five years with a guy that will never marry you or have kids with you, so on and so forth. Men get to make all those decisions. Men ultimately decide if they will ever propose to you. Women are interviewing for a solid relationship and possible marriage. If you fuck it up, it's on you. Guys watch everything and keep a mental note. They don't come out with laundry lists of demands up front.

[Keyboardkat]

I have long aged out of the dating scene and am happily married. But i can tell you that, when I was single, I always LOVED blind dates, even if they didn't work out! Every time I got a blind date situation, there was always in the back of my mind, "Maybe SHE could be the one!" Of course, this sort of thinking could lead someone to have huge expectations and thus be very disappointed when the blind date turned out to be a normal, regular person! But I was always careful about that! My wife was actually a blind date, and we've been together a long time, so it actually can work!

[Anonymous]

It depends on what you mean by dating standards. The average guy who is casually dating definitely has lower standards than the average woman, but when it comes to looking for a bride, men tend to have higher standards, especially today because marriage has become very harzardous for men.

It's true what they say about women being the gatekeepers to sex, and men being the gatekeepers to relationships/marriage. And today, men are taking their gatekeeper role much more seriously that women are taking theirs. That's the biggest reason the percentage of children born to unwed mothers has skyrocket over the last 5 decades.

[RingOfFire]

The reason women have higher dating expectations is because of their biological clock. They are much more serious about dating from their teens to their mid 30s because after that they may not be able to have any children. So they need a guy who gets right to the ring pronto and doesn't waste their precious time.

[Raaj4you]

Yes, I have expectations not too high.

• A girl with at least a bachelor's degree with any stable source of income from anything.
• A girl with good decent family background.
• A classy, feminine, sweet girl with good moral, ethics and family values.
• A girl from upper middle class or wealthy family.

[nastyb]

men don't care about anything else other than if she is attractive and if she is fun to talk to. women tend to think long term. men assume anyone that makes him happy temporarily , then it will last forever.

[NathanDavis]

because of the risks implied...

mine? smart, interesting and funny... never really had to think if they're high or aren't

[midnightmoon05]

Yes. I don’t like to waste time. I know what I want. So I make it easy.

[jogeb907433]

They only have low expectations for short-term relationships. In long-term relationships, I have high expectations, for example, I don't like women older than me or women who are not virgins.

[blueonblack22]

Yes it’s about hypergamy. Something feminists wants to conveniently pretend doesn’t exist.

[colaman94]

I'd probably go for coffee dates first, build up to dinner dates or lunch dates and just enjoy 😁

[colaman94]

The women I've ever been attracted to, weren't like that at all. They seemed the equally "poor as me" and working class type and humbled with simple dates (dinner, lunch, beaches or movies, theme parks). Realistic things 😀😉😃

[Friendlybro79]

This doesn't sound like something you could prove. I think we forget that our feelings don't always mean absolute truth and generalizations.

[Friendlybro79]

By that I meant that if you feel this way.

[msc545]

Women do this because they can. Women control access to sex.

[colaman94]

I'd say some women, sure. Some women. 👀

[msc545]

@colaman94 Nothing is 100%. Everone knows this and I don't need you to point it out to me.

[Nifrayu]

I'm pretty sure men also control access to sex. Both parties can choose not to consent.

[colaman94]

@Nifrayu happy Halloween and ditto 🎉

[msc545]

Very few men will say no to sex. On the other hand, men control access to marriage. Of course men can refuse sex, but I think most do not.

[Nifrayu]

I don't think that's true. I've refused sex a lot. Why wouldn't you refuse it if you are not interested?

[msc545]

@Nifrayu Do you really think your behavior is typical of men in general?

[Nifrayu]

Not typical, but not uncommon either.

[msc545]

@Nifrayu Maybe not uncommon on your planet. On mine, very uncommon.

[Nifrayu]

You never answered me though. Why would you never turn someone down? Don't you have standards?

[msc545]

@Nifrayu Why I would or would not is none of your business.

[Nifrayu]

I'm just saying it doesn't make any sense.

[msc545]

@Nifrayu That is not my problem.

[m33ladEmjay]

Because guys can't stop telling them how amazing and beautiful they are in every single way on social media and in person.

Weak men create hard times. here we are.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I think women value other things other than sex much more then men especially once they get a bit older.

Most men just want a pretty girl to have sex with while dating.

[MissBoogus]

I feel like men do 😬 and no I have no expectations

[TheSpaceGnome]

Lol no.

My expectations are quite high.

[Anonymous]

men date for sex. women date for companionship.

[Slim57]

Because women can have higher expectations and standards, and I think they have to try and protect themselves better than men