Do you tell a guy that you're going to start dating other people?

[Anonymous]

I've been dating this guy since the beginning of the year. I knew him forever but hadn't seen him for over 15 years. When we got back connected everything seemed to come so natural. Like, there's a strong friendship that comes with dating him. sometimes I feel like he's afraid of actually being in a relationship though, which is annoying. This is the 2nd man that I have ever been with and honestly, I am very happy despite our differences.

I don't have children and he does. And I want marriage, whereas he doesn't think marriage is necessary. Now just to be clear- I don't have an issue with someone having children. I have an issue when their are no boundaries between the man and the children's mothers. I can come into the relationship and give my all. I don't feel he can ever do that because he has to spread himself thin.

Anyways, although things are going good, I already know we want different things. Do I tell him that I will start dating other people or do I just start dating them and then explain later as to why?

[kylee2437]

Best to be honest and tell him “hey I’ve been noticing lately we just want two separate things and I think it’s best we start seeing other people” now if you are serious about that, don’t let him trying to coax you into his potential so you will waste even more time. It seems to me you want something more raw and authentic whereas he wants something not so serious because he’s been there done that. Go find happiness girl, don’t settle.

[Asker]

And I think that is true. He has made comments that he's been in relationships that didn't work out. Which I explained, so have I. However, I still believe it's possible to find someone who wants more. I think he just kind of uses our friendship to keep me stuck to him enough to not find something elsewhere but he strongly feels that a commitment is not necessary.

[kylee2437]

@asker maybe not using but keeping you around because he’s completely satisfied with how things are going even though you aren’t. Better off moving on

[Little_Bumblebee]

Sounds more like you need to break up.

Definitely don't just date others without letting him know.
Do the proper thing.

[exitseven]

If you have an exclusive relationship with this guy then yes he deserves to be told that you no longer want to be in an exclusive relationship with you and he can have the option of dumping you.

[Asker]

Well, I wouldn't call it exclusive. He wants a relationship without the title of a relationship. Which means, we don't talk to other people but if someone asks then he can say we are just friends. So I feel like if we are just friends that are only committed to each other- as a "friend" do I have to tell him I'll be dating other people?

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[slatyb]

Tell him now -- I don't think this is going to work. I wish you the best.