How young is too young?

[Jbear27]

I’m 43 and whenever I go out I’m often hit on by women half my age. It’s flattering as hell and the women are gorgeous but I feel uncomfortable. All my friends tell me I’m lucky and to just go for it and even my ex wife says I shouldn’t feel ashamed as they are adults but I still feel strange about it. I would prefer a woman in the 35-40 age group but I’m constantly pursued by women of ages 21-26. What do you think? Go with it and see what happens or is that kinda weird?

Updates

+1 y

Anything in the double digits is considered high to me. And what age are you asking about? My parents? My dad passed when he was 90 and they were married for 45 years. So that means he was 45 and my mom was 25 when they got married.

Updates

+1 y

I didn’t think it was important to give details and I wanted just a general consensus and start a conversation on the topic without judgement but I’ve recently started dating a younger woman already. I’m making this information available because someone is jumping to conclusions and littering the conversation with negative input. Normally I wouldn’t care as everyone is entitled to their one opinion and viewpoint but she is utilizing false facts and fabricating her own information.

[ShellyB]

I am in a relationship but if I was not, I would feel fine about dating a 43yo if everything else was right. I think maybe 3 years ago I could not have done it but now I can. When I say I could not have done it, I mean I think I would have been self conscious and also moody and a bit childish so he would have felt like my daddy but I think I am at a point now where I could be a good partner to somebody about that age. That is just me everybody is different and I could be wrong bc I have not actually dated someone in his 40s but I work with guys that age and talk w them every day, and I am pretty sure it could work.

As far as legally or morally I think as long as everyone is an adult it is really up to them. But as far as odds of it blowing up in your face I would say 25 plus or maybe 24 depending on the girl. JMO!

[Jbear27]

Appreciate your insight and honest input.

[Aphrodite801]

Weird, he would pass away at least a decade before you and you and the kids if y’all had any would be left alone. Can’t forget about him being near your dads age

[Aphrodite801]

And if you would have went with this 43 year old you would have gotten cheated on as he just admitted he’s a gross cheater 🤣🤣 as you would have deserved. Dating someone who could be your dad is never ok.

[Jbear27]

Ugh Aphrodite, where are you getting your information? I never said I cheated on anyone. My marriage ended because I caught my wife being unfaithful. I’ve never cheated. So once again fabricating your own story to fit your agenda. Poor girl

[Aphrodite801]

Want me to be super honest? Those girls 9/10 are just trying to make you a sugar daddy. You don’t give them any money they will leave. Of course you might need to see for yourself.

[Aphrodite801]

Also the fact that you think them having a higher body count is a PRO meanwhile because you are older 9/10 YOU have a higher body count? 😬 Yikes, very hypocritical. I would not feel bad about you being played for money.

[Jbear27]

You’re assuming I have a high body count. Before I got married at 25 I had only slept with 4 women. I’m 43 now and I’ve only slept with 7 women total. I think my count is pretty low considering. Meanwhile I know women that have been with over 20 guys. If I’m being honest I know my ex wife had been with probably much more than 20. My best friend had been with her says close to 60-70 women. It’s crazy. Anyhow I don’t think I’m being a hypocrite at all.

[Jbear27]

Typo. My best friend had been with he* says close to 60-70 women.

[Jbear27]

also I said a low body count is a PRO. not a high body count

[Aphrodite801]

You are 43 worried about a “high body count” 💀💀 that’s wild. And I would think at your big age you would know that age and body count genuinely don’t play that big of a role with each other

[Aphrodite801]

You said your parents have a big age gap…what are their ages? And I would bet my foot their relationship was far from perfect. Especially if your mom is younger, which 9/10 is the case.

[Jbear27]

I guess have the 1/10 girl. She’s a nurse and works 12hour plus shifts like I do. So when we get together we don’t even go out. She prefers to have nights at the house watching a movie and making love. We have been with each other for 2 months and only gone out on 3 actual dates. She doesn’t like me to spend money on her at all. She just wants to enjoy my company. Wr have a very fun and affectionate relationship. I’m happy thus far.

[Aphrodite801]

Yet you are thinking about messing with the much younger women who could be your daughters. That doesn’t sound like a faithful guy to me. And would you be ok with her messing with men that young?

[Jbear27]

My dad passed away at the age of 90 a few years ago. They were married for 45 years and had 6 kids. Their marriage was amazing and is what I strive for in my own life as they set the bar extremely high for me. He loved her like crazy and took care of her until the day he died. Both amazing parents.

[Jbear27]

My parents were 20 years apart in age. My dad being the older of the two.

[Jbear27]

Body count does matter to a lot of guys. People with low body counts tend to form stronger bonds with their sexual partners. People with high body counts tend to see sex as recreational rather than an emotional gesture of vulnerability and trust.

[Jbear27]

I think if two consenting adults are attracted to each other it should be fine. Just because one is younger doesn’t make the man a creep. If you’re both mentally mature and have similar lifestyles and goals I think that’s great.

[Aphrodite801]

I like how you’re not saying the specific age 😂 and body count matters to a lot of women too what’s your point? But that being a very important thing for you at 43 is crazy. What you probably consider “high” 9/10 isn’t high that’s what gets me about y'all 🤣🤣

[Aphrodite801]

And like we have told y'all over a MILLION times y'all can not tell how many men we have slept with. Whatever number we give you is what you will know.

[Aphrodite801]

If you truly thought it was fine you wouldn’t feel uncomfortable when allegedly young women were flirting with you. And you wouldn’t be worried about what your son would think if he saw you with a woman near his age. Why wouldn’t he be creeped out?

[Jbear27]

Anything in the double digits is considered high to me. And what age are you asking about? My parents? My dad passed when he was 90 and they were married for 45 years. So that means he was 45 and my mom was 25 when they got married.

[Jbear27]

Oh I never even ask about body count. Like you said the true number probably wouldn’t be told and honestly I don’t want to hear it. But when with a younger woman you can assume it’s less than it would be by the time she is my age. Lol

[Aphrodite801]

^The fact that you arrogantly assume that though? 😬 Red flag. Body count depends on the woman and man. Actually most young men have a higher body count than YOU for sure

[Aphrodite801]

You don’t ask about it but it’s important.. what? 🤣🤣 anyway your parents situation is exactly what I talk about. Your dad died way before your mom correct? She might even be still alive. How would it be smart for a woman to date and get serious with an older man when he’s going to DIE at LEAST a decade before her? Leaving her and the kids alone. You guys life expectant is already shorter as is

[Aphrodite801]

Can I just ask you this, if you had a daughter in the age range of the women apparently trying to mess with you, would be you ok with her dating a man your age?

[Jbear27]

Yeah he died before her. But it’s not like we are kids anymore. The youngest of us is 41. So let’s not pretend she is left supporting any kids on her own. We are all grown adults with families of our own. Your argument holds no water.

[Aphrodite801]

Can you answer the question? 😂😂 or you won’t for obvious reasons

[Aphrodite801]

You’re making so many excuses, if it’s ok to be with younger women since apparently y'all are so mature and know a woman’s body (straight bs as you said yourself you’re inexperienced with a BC of 4) why do you feel uncomfortable when young women try and get with you? Aka get with the money they’re assuming you have?

[Aphrodite801]

Yeah he Died WAY before her. Leaving her alone to die by herself and take care of her kids HERSELF. Thats stupid and you know it. No doubt infidelity happened in the marriage between your young mom and older dad.

[Jbear27]

She is not taking care of any of us. We all have successful careers and many of us don’t even live in the same city as my mom. She is well taken care of herself. My dad was pretty wealthy and all the properties and vehicles are paid off. My mom spends her time with her sisters and going on little vacations to visit her kids. She has been in San Antonio the last 2 months visiting my brother and his family. She will be back here after Thanksgiving. My mom is pretty happy. So don’t go assuming she is some poor widow that is left supporting a bunch of kids. lol. Sounds like you’re very young and have a very small mindset of how the world works. You assume a lot and know very little.

[Aphrodite801]

You’re literally choosing to ignore the facts I’m saying about the relationship dynamic being stupid af 🤣🤣. Worse thing for the guy is that y’all will be viewed as creeps/predators. Which would be true cause y'all are. Many are pedophiles as well. Truth hurts oh well get a grip. Not reading that essay✌️ oh and if you have a kid the look they will have on their face when you tell them you’re dating someone near their age will be PRICELESS 🤣 would pay to see that.

[NathanDavis]

if you feel weird about it... then don't do it, because that is "too young" for yourself

getting into something that's already bringing you conflict before you even get to it is usually not a good thing... if you let others decide for you about what is best for you, that can also be problematic

just be more straight-forward with yourself... do you want a relationship with a woman? do you want situationship with a woman? do you want to some sort of one night stand or very casual fling with a woman?

and then, on whichever of these you decide to pursue yourself... do you want that with a woman? or do you want some of that with a younger than you girl...

once you make up your mind about the two... then you will be in a better position to decide for yourself without having others deciding it for you

[Jbear27]

My parents were actually 20 years difference in age. But that was a different time. I don’t feel icky about it per se, but I’m worried about being judged by others as if I’m some kind of cradle robber or something. I think of the pros and cons of young women being, pro: these girls won’t have as high a body count as older women (hopefully) and aren’t as jaded as some older women can be. They also are less likely to have children and are kind of a blank canvas if you will and can experience things in life with more excitement than an older woman might have. Cons would be that it’s possible they aren’t mature enough for a serious relationship and might still want to live that party life. I like to go out but I’ve already lived through my party stage and enjoy quieter more intimate moments and experiences with friends and family.

[NathanDavis]

then you could ask yourself this... when you see a man in his 40's or 50's with a 20 to 25 year old girl, how much of prejudice do you feel yourself towards them? how much do you invest yourself to assume all kinds of things about their situation and then judge them without actually knowing better about them...

if you don't care... then you should not care about how others will be judging you, now if you know you will judge them, then have some congruence and don't do it yourself, lol

at the end of the day one thing is true... those who will judge for it, will judge no matter what, and those who don't care or don't mind what you, they just won't care or mind what you do

the pros you mentioned are things that you can also find with older women, and the cons you mentioned... these also might be present in older woman

[Jbear27]

This is true. I’m basing my opinions on older women because I’ve dated older women and most seem to be man haters and are super insecure and untrusting. They also seem to have a superiority complex or extreme feminist viewpoints on their need for a man. Just jaded. Most also seem to have younger children which make it a challenge to date due to juggling time with their career and babysitting. Which I understand, they feel guilty already spending x amount of time getting a babysitter to watch their kids while they are at work, now to get another babysitter to watch them while they go on dates. So there are hurdles with older women too. For sure they can exist in younger women but I’m not sure to what degree since I’ve been exclusively dating women around my own age.
But as for myself I wouldn’t judge someone for a 20 year age gap. Like I said my parents were one of those couples.

[NathanDavis]

jaded is the right word

[Jbear27]

Another personal hurdle for mine is that I have a 17 year old son. I’m not sure how he would feel if dad was dating someone whom is closer to his age than mine. I suppose I could ask him as maybe that is a non issue to him.

[NathanDavis]

that you should do about it yes... he's old enough to start to understand about these things

[Ameatpopsicle]

I'm 61 and have young women after me as well. Flattered, maybe but extremely wrong.
Me, 30 to 60 years old or it is wrong for me. Even 30 year old is weird..

[Jbear27]

That’s half your age too and sounds good. Good for you my man

[Ameatpopsicle]

Truth, right..
Thanks, and keep to your moral and intuitive guns.

[Aphrodite801]

Honestly they’re probably trying to run your wallet

[Aphrodite801]

He has no moral, he just said he’s in a relationship but apparently is thinking about messing with these young women who are 100% going to use him as a walking wallet. This guy is a P. O. S. Who clearly made up this whole story in the first place

[Jbear27]

The relationship I’m in is with a young woman. I’m getting feedback on how people feel about it since I’ve only dated women around my own age prior to this. I didn’t expect to have to give so many details as I didn’t think it was pertinent to the actual topic. But I also don’t mind telling you. But wow you seem to have issue with it. Did you have an indecent relationship willingly or unwillingly with a father figure when you were younger? Because this topic really seems to have struck a nerve with you. Like wow!

[BourbonAndBacon]

I get the same thing and I don't get it. I finally gave in and found an old soul who is 20 years younger than me but I don't notice an age difference. And I no longer care.

[Jbear27]

Good for you man! Thanks for your input

[Tim2nice]

If she’s 18 she’s not too young. That said, young people go through changes a lot. If they were in their late 20’s and in a stable job, happy and confident then they’re mature and ready for an older person. In my honest opinion, it’s not wrong to date or even hook up with early twenties but it doesn’t usually last long

[Jbear27]

I have a friend who I went to high school with that is my same age. Over the past few months he has been sleeping with a coworker of his that is 21. It started out as a casual friends with benefits but it seems like it is slowly turning into an actual relationship. They are spending more and more time together and really seem to enjoy each others company just as much outside of the bedroom now. So I’m kind watching how their relationship develops to see if it’s something that actually works.

[Tim2nice]

It’s very rare

[Aphrodite801]

Any man your age doing stuff with an 18 year is 100% a creepy predator

[Fireguy17]

ehhh, if you just aren't into them then don't get involved with them.
Maybe one will come along that acts more mature and might be the one for you.
At some point what would you have in common, you are decades apart, they are most likely into different things than you are.
When you think about it, they could be your daughter.

[Jbear27]

To be honest I don’t care much about having things in common as much as having someone whom it’s easy to converse and laugh with. I’m always open to new experiences but Im not down for a party girl that needs to go out drinking every weekend. I’m more into a chill woman. I actually found one recently and she works long hours like I do and prefers to kind of Netflix and chill style dates when we get together and that works for me

[Fireguy17]

and that is what is important.

[Apple1996]

It's up to you. I personally feel that everyone should date around their own age like within 10 years of each other. Any bigger gap than that just seems weird

[Jbear27]

Thanks for your input Apple. We’ll see what happens. I was thinking like you but I might give in and just see how it works with a younger crowd since they seems to be what I attract.

[DextroShade]

Younger women are better because they have less baggage, less bad habits, and have been through less dick.

[Jbear27]

Those are all pros. As long as they aren’t party girls or looking for a total sugar daddy I think I would be down.

[Smartman5]

This shows that girls like older men. The decision is yours. Whether you want to be with them or stay away from them

[Aphrodite801]

All women don’t like the same thing? Thats like saying a guy going after an older woman show guys like older women. Obviously but that doesn’t mean they represent most women or men

[Smartman5]

Okay, not all young girls like mature men, but they are often attracted to mature men. Because they know how an adult person should satisfy themselves, they prefer big people. If you ask my opinion, okay, mature women look amazing, I do not deny that, but for marriage, I would prefer girls of the same age as me, not them. Also, most mature women want more mature men. Maybe she can ask for young men as a favor.

[Jbear27]

It’s obvious you don’t like older men. We can leave it at that. But a lot of women do. It’s not an anomaly, it happens every day. A lot of younger girls don’t want to be with young fuck boys their own age and tend to be attracted to older more mature men who know how to treat a woman and know their way around a woman’s body. I can tell you now I provide my woman with multiple orgasms a night and via her texts and our conversations she can’t wait to see me again. I fulfill her emotionally and sexually and make her feel valued in a way that she craves and desires. In turn I feel the same way and it just works.

[Aphrodite801]

A man being older does not make him mature 😂 and again what is your point Smartman? Obviously some women like older men and some men like older women. I just feel like you’re trying to push an agenda that’s it’s the case for most of us.

[Smartman5]

Very nice

[Aphrodite801]

@Jbear if you were satisfying her that much I would think she would have gotten into a relationship with you by now 😂 but she has not and I can see the reason why

[Aphrodite801]

@Jbear27 again that’s a very biased opinion and generalization

[Jbear27]

There you go assuming again. We have been exclusive and have been an official relationship since Sept 15th. First date was on Oct 5th. Things are going very well. Believe me, she is very very satisfied and her friends and family love me already.

[Jbear27]

You’re very much a hater and it seems you get pleasure out of your unfounded assumptions all throughout this conversation. I’m not sure who hurt you but I hope you the best little girl.

[Aphrodite801]

You’re in a relationship but thinking about messing with younger women wtf are you talking about? 🤣🤣 so you’re a cheater? You’re not making any sense 🤡

[Aphrodite801]

If the unfortunate is that you ARE in a relationship, that’s what that woman gets for settling with a man like YOU. I mean look at your pfp. But the fact that everything you said is just stupid bs that makes no sense anymore I’m 99% positive you’re just some fake page. Probably even uglier than the guy in your pfp. Goodbye delusional older male who young women would 100% only mess with for money!

[Anonymous]

If you make pop culture references that she's too young to understand... then she's too young. Trust me! Talking to her will be excruciating after a while.😆

[Anonymous]

You’re married what do you mean what is to young

[Jbear27]

I’m not married, where did you get that info from? I’m divorced and have been single for almost 3 years. Was married 16 years and am still friends with my ex wife.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh I read it wrong

my ex wife

[MK1997]

18 min