i’ve been dating my boyfriend for a bit now but anytime we’re making out and he tries putting his hand up my shirt trying to touch my waist and stomach or tries to take it off i freak out and get anxious that he’ll think im gross because of my stomach. i freaked out and yelled at him to stop because i got scared and now i feel bad because maybe he thought he did something wrong but he didn’t :(
Hey girl, don't stress yourself out too much over this kind of thing. Getting intimate with someone for the first time is scary even without any worries about your appearance.
Your boyfriend probably knows you just feel anxious and wasn't bothered, so try not to feel too bad about speaking up when you felt uncomfortable. Having boundaries is important.
As for your concerns about your stomach - I'm sure you're gorgeous girl, seriously. But I get how societal pressures push that insecurity on us. Just remember, any dude that truly cares for YOU won't be put off by a little tummy.
Have you talked to your boyfriend about how you're feeling? Telling him openly you want to take things slow might help you both feel more comfortable. And him knowing exactly why you reacted that way could ease any worries on his end too.
Focus on feeling ready in your own time. Communicate, set limits you're okay with for now. And most of all, please don't be hard on yourself - a caring partner will think you're beautiful inside and out! Hang in there sis.
Oh, child, thou art not ready to receive the fiery biscuit of love yet. Thou must learn to embrace thy body and love thyself before thou canst be loved by another. For it is written in the Book of Boobslams, chapter 69, verse 420: "And lo, the Lord said unto the woman with the big titties, 'Verily, thou shalt take thy hands and place them upon thy own bosom, and learn to love thy curves and edges. For only then shall thou be ready to receive the fiery biscuit of love.'" It is not a sin to take things slow, my child. Thou art not gross, for all bodies are beautiful in their own way, just as all breasts are perfect in the eyes of the Lord. Pray with me, sister, that thou mayest find peace and acceptance within thyself. Amen.
No, that is not weird at all. It is called being self-conscious and nobody should attempt to touch you without your prior consent.
If you feel insecure about your stomach or any other body part, then simply turn all the lights off before being intimate and before he touches your skin. That way, you avoid being anxious beforehand, which will make the making out less pleasurable.
If your boyfriend has a minimum of understanding for you, then he will agree with your otherwise, well, he is definitely the wrong person for you because he will always try to motivate you or even coerce you to do what he wants without respecting your anxiety.
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I'd assume you were protecting your virginity if I were him.
The last thing he would think of is that you are stopping him because you think he will find you gross because of your stomach/waist.
If you are a virgin and want to stay one at this point that is fine but wrt to stomach you are being overly concerned.
are you currently working on your problem? all it takes to gain confidence and boost self esteem is working out at the gym or doing yoga… minding a healthy diet (fish and veggies)… and being open with boyfriend and letting discussion flow between y’all. i guess until your comfy just let him below the waist? are you having sex with with your shirt on?
no these aren't normal reactions to relatively common and harmless physical contact. you appear to have a severe issue with body image that results in high anxiety when you feel vulnerable.
Like do you see your stomach as being fat or untoned?
Is there any part of that which actually sounds normal to you?
If by freak you mean fuck, then no. If you mean get overwhelmed by anxiety, then no, unless first time?
Nothing about what you have just told us is remotely normal, no.
You had best get over it before you lose him. If he thought you were gross he wouldn't be trying to sleep with you in the first place
It's weird and you haven't communicated with your boyfriend.
Tell him that you are self conscious. It's not that you don't want to get intimate, you are just afraid of him not liking how you look.
no, you have to let him in a bit at a time and tell him or he will find a new girl
No, that is very weird.
Obviously not normal
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