I talk to this lady that lives in a different time zone, we're both into eachother but decided to not get into a relationship because of the distance
She is going to fly over and visit me soon and she asked if I had any plans and I told her some ideas, one is going to group hangouts with my other friends
She asked about them and I told her about them, some have girlfriends so she won't be the only female, but some of my friends are serial daters, lots of tinder and stuff
She isn't very experienced but she seemed interested in their dating lives and later said I should give her some of their numbers
Now I'm kinda jealous and don't know what to do! She is very attractive and I know my friends would love to see her/hookup
What do you think of her request?
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Dang dude, that's a weird situation. A couple thoughts:
- Her asking for your friends' numbers seems a little off since you're supposed to just be visiting as friends.
- I get she's curious about dating since she doesn't have much experience, but trying to hook up with your boys would cross a line since you two like each other.
- Your friends would 100% try to make a move if she's as hot as you say. That'd just make things super awkward and probably ruin your visit.
- She might be playing games to make you jealous on purpose, which isn't cool either.
- I'd tell her straight up that exchanging numbers would make you uncomfortable since you weren't planning to be romantic this trip. Set that boundary.
- Suggest other activities you can do one-on-one so she's not hanging with your pals the whole time.
- Go into it with an open mind, but also watch for red flags. Don't wanna get played, y'know?
If I were you, I'd just tell her you're not down for the number swap and keep your visit low-key between the two of you. Not worth the drama it could cause with your boys. Guard your heart too bro!
Yeah I think you're right
Yeah man, trust your gut feeling on this one. That number request was just kinda weird and disrespectful if you ask me. A few ideas on how to handle it:
- Definitely don't give out anyone's number without asking them first, that's just not cool.
- When she visits, keep an eye on how she acts with your other friends. See if she seems more interested in flirting with them or getting to know you better.
- You could try casually bringing it up again, like "hey, about those number requests... just want to make sure your intentions are really to get to know me and not anyone else here." Gauge her reaction.
- If she pushes back or gets defensive, I'd reconsider how into you she really is, you know? Might just be looking for a fun trip, not something serious.
- But give her a chance too, see how it goes in person before making any decisions. Maybe it was nothing. Just protect your heart man.
Trust your gut, set some boundaries, and don't be afraid to walk away if her actions don't match her words. You'll find someone better who respects you bro, don't settle! Let me know how it goes.
Yeah I should definitely talk to her about this, I'm wondering if she's doing it to make me jealous, see how I feel about her, or if she just wants more experience with guys
Yo for real, I think you need to straight up ask her what's really going on. Cuz her request is just kinda sus and leaves too much room for guessing games.
Could be she wants to make you jealous, see how you reacted, test the waters - girls always playing 5D chess sometimes haha. Or maybe she's just curious to meet new people. Who knows.
The only way to find out is lay it all out there. "Hey I just wanna be real for a sec, why did you wanna meet all my boys? Tryna make me sweat or what? Cuz I'm tryna figure out if you actually like me or if you're just in town for a good time."
Maybe be like "I'm down to show you a good time but I ain't about sharing if we vibe you feel me?" Gotta let her know where you stand too and what you're willing to put up with.
Hopefully she clears it up and you guys can be straight. If not then you dodge a bullet before getting played. Either way, good communication is key here so you don't waste time on games and confusion. Keep me posted on how it goes!
That's good advice! I'll have to talk to her, and I know she's down to meet up and have fun at least with me, of course we wouldn't be banging the whole time lol we're emotionally close too
I'm almost thinking about seeing what she'd do if I did give her one of my friends number cause that would reveal a lot too
I wouldn't recommend actually giving her one of your friend's numbers, man. That could just make things messy and complicated. If your goal is to see what her intentions are, a direct conversation is better than playing games.
When you talk to her, be open about how you feel, but also actively listen to understand her perspective. Rather than accuse or test her, have an honest back-and-forth where you both feel heard. That will reveal a lot about how she sees your relationship and where her head's at.
If emotions get involved, those jealousy tests often do more harm than good. Better to communicate clearly on the same level, as emotionally close people do. This visit could be the start of something cool - don't risk ruining that by bringing unwanted drama before you've even met up in person.
Trust is important, so have faith she'll be straight with you. Give her the same respect in return by being real about your feelings without playing games. You got this!
Who decided not to date because of distance? She is flying out to see you. That says a lot to me.
I think it was wrong of her to ask that, but I think she was trying to get a reaction out of you.
I think she does want to date and you are the reluctant one.
My next thought is… she is flying out to see you and your idea of a good time is taking her out with your playboy friends?
Your actions scream that you are not interested. Why are you jealous if you’re not interested.
To fix this I would tell her that you are jealous and going to see your playboy friends isn’t a good idea. Take her to a show, diner or anything else that’s just the two of you.
That's solid advice, thanks!
so this lady is going to fly to visit you and try to fuck your friends? what do you think about it?
Well I thought I'd get all her attention, we've been talking for awhile now, I don't know if she's trying to make me jealous or just wants more experience cause she's only had 1 boyfriend
I don't know man maybe just ask her why she wants to know about your friends’ dating lives? if she’s trying to make you jealous are you into that?
Yeah I gotta have this talk
The jealousy thing worked, if that's what it is, I've been giving her more attention lol I don't know how I feel about her doing that because on one hand she's REALLY attractive and I like that and I do want her to get along with people I know, on the other hand I'd get less time with her
well i hope everything works out ok but it sounds strange to me. just protect your feelings
Thanks
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