i haven't heard from her in months , she was from my home area but leaves this area at the end of summer for another city where she lives for school. but even when she was around things didn't really end that well
had always assumed she'd reappear and things would be ok but she isn't anywhere to be found here and not even sure when i would see her next. i don't even have her # and don't have accounts on most of the social media sites she uses so isn't even a way to contact her and even if i did don't feel like she'd reply anyways so it feels so hopeless but she always talked to me when i saw her inperson here so i don't know
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Man that sucks dude, I feel ya. Nothing worse than being into someone but not knowing where you stand. Few things I'd say:
1. Don't dwell on it - Easier said than done, I know. But thinking non-stop about some girl who's not hitting you up will only bring you down.
2. Give her space - She's gone doing her thing at school now. Probably busy and living her life without worrying about back home. Leave the ball in her court for now.
3. Be patient - You never know, she may swing through town again someday. Or add you on social media out of the blue. But don't sit around waiting either - live your life too.
4. Move on - As hard as it is, start putting yourself out there again. Maybe check out some local shows/parties and meet some new ladies who are actually around. Distract yourself from dwelling.
5. Leave an open invitation - Next time you bump into someone from around here, casually drop that you're still interested if she wants to catch up sometime. Then it's on her.
Chin up man. Plenty more fish and all that! Hard to get over a girl you like, but don't fade away waiting on someone not even in touch. Keep living and who knows, maybe one day things will align again.
sounds like you just have to wait and see. better to move on to cover your bases :)
i don't even really know what is going on with her , still see some of her girlfriend's and co workers but none ever mention her when i'm around
you guys aren’t in contact. there’s not much you can do. if you see her ask for her number or a way to keep in touch.
think that makes it tougher to find closure when you can't even talk to them or see them or anything , there just sort of gone but you don't really know what things be like when they reappear.
i understand what you mean, but sometimes you have to make your own closure. it doesn’t really sound like you guys had the kind of connection you want. it is like grief. but the sooner you accept that there is no closure, the sooner you can move on. for now at least.
sometimes in situations like this the other person doesn't provide closure or a reason perhaps out of bitterness or selfishness. its hard to accept that there is no reason given to me for her actions towards me or even basic closure , she could of at least said something
i understand. i’ve been through the same thing and struggled. you’ll never have this closure, however. if her actions were negative then she did you a favor instead of wasting your time. the closure will never happen. this is a kind of closure in a way.
its not just the lack of closure but lack of respect , had talked to her many times inperson , its not like she couldn't of talked to me to better explain things so at least i'd know. if i was some random guy from the bar i'd get it when he didn't get any explanation right but when you actually know the other person well it just seems disrespectful to not open up a bit more so at least i'd know one way or another and could move on
she got with some random guy from a bar and didn’t talk to you about it. dude, that’s closure. she sucks. why waste any more of your energy for her. you have to learn to accept the unknown. this kind of crap might happen to you again in dating. show some respect for yourself. i know i may sound harsh, but i’m just trying to be direct with you. quit driving yourself crazy over someone who mistreated you. don’t waste your time like i once did.
no it wasn't a random guy , just used that as an example , like if i was a " random guy " at a bar and had meet her that way. apparently there was another guy but he was someone she meet through her friends in another city so i don't really know much about what exactly happened between them.
its just that i knew her and her girlfriend's fairly well , seems odd no one wants to even talk to me about her and provide some kind of explanation or anything about this person. even if she didn't want to talk to me , surely her girlfriend's could of said something so at least i'd know the truth and have some closure. i don't want to waste time on her , guess i'd just want to know more , it just feels so weird that something like this happened with someone i though i knew so well
i understand. for example, i had a really good friend who just cut me out of her life all the sudden. i don’t really know why. but even if i asked her for an explanation, she might not even know why or be honest. so it makes no difference. the first step is acceptance. accept that you are bothered. accept that you may never get closure. if she wanted to talk to you, it seems like she could find a way. a harsh possibility is she may never have cared for you the way you wanted her to
part of the problem was she kept a lot of her life separate from me so i sort of saw her in this one place a lot and though that i knew her really well but didn't see her at all when she was in other places. there was just so many lies and half truths it was just about impossible for me to figure everything out. and even as some time has passed a lot still doesn't make sense. so my version of events is based around the time i saw her in the place we both frequented but obviously she had an entire life outside of it where i never was present. so obviously i didn't really get the oppurtunity to know her as well as i had hoped to which is why the whole experience has never made sense to me and lacked closure
there’sa good chance it never will. it happens to many of us. don’t waste your life on someone who’s not into you
some of the things she lied to me about didn't even make sense , it was sometimes stuff that seemed of little importance or that was already widely known anyways.
originally she had claimed to be interested in being friends with me , one night almost 2 years ago now she asked me to do a shot with her at this pub downtown , we liked talked after then i didn't see her again till the summer when things started to get weird , but been this pattern where she disappears for periods than re appears during the summer or holidays , but known her for a while feel like we first meet in 2018
what you’re doing is revisiting little things she said or did trying to piece together that it meant she cared about you out that there was some future or her promises meant something. look it sounds like you just need to talk it out, which is understandable. im glad to be part of that but if you’re really stuck consider talking to a therapist. i was recently seeing s woman that i really really liked. she told me hot much she liked me and was talking about future plans. then suddenly she was “too busy”. was i sad? hell yes. but do i need to know what happened? no, because it doesn’t matter. if a woman is into you the last thing you have to do is analyze. show some respect for yourself. all a man can really do is show interest. and if she backs away, you move on. talk it out. but one day, sooner or later, let it go. it’s like a leaf on a stream.
the whole experience was just weird , would of been a lot easier to just move on had i not known her well and she been from my hometown area. if this happened with some random girl i didn't know well , yeah you'd just shrug it off and move on.
its weird to try to accept the fact you were lied to for no apparent reason by this person , its impossible to try and make sense of any of this without her side of the story as she's like never talked to me privately about this , i've talked to her many times but about what happened or why she's done the things she did when around me
like why would you lie to someone you knew in real life about minor things which had little to no importance , why would it matter if i knew had been to a concert or went to the gym. i was left feeling that she didn't even respect me as a person
as for moving on , not like i'd have an issue with buying another girl a drink at the bar , infact i've bought a lot of girls drinks this year , i haven't even done a shot with this girl in a long time. out of the blue during the summer of 2022 she said she didn't want to do shots with me this was after we had done one together on my bday in late June and we've never done one since.
but i've bought many other girls shots at bars since but that whole thing with her not even wanting to do a shot with me never felt good especially after she had initially asked me to do one with her and she worked at a bar during the summer so it like wasn't a big deal to do them with people at night
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