Why is he ghosting when he was literally asking to meet my parents?

[Anonymous]

This boy and I have been together pretty on off for close to 4 years. Recently he started talking about how he wants to meet my family and how he wants me to meet his. We had a small convention about it and I told him I'm not ready then he said we'd never be ready it'd just a leap we'd take. Literally since then he's ghosted me for a full week now and I'm genuinely so frustrated. I'm starting to think he might be mentally ill.

This sem more especially we've barely spent time together because we were supposed to be on a break but we realized breaks don't work and he told me that the only way he sees us ending is in marriage right. He tells me he loves me constantly when we're together and always talks about marriage ams starting a family but his actions are so confusing. I'm not really bothered about not spending too much time bc I feel we are growing separately which is needed but I genuinely just moss hanging out with him all rhe time like we used to. He acts like he doesn't know what he wants and ignores me but then he'll get really drunk and go on and on about how I'm his soulmate and he's been in love with me since our first year.

He'll day all these things just to not do anything about it. I love him genuinely so much it hurts I see him in everything I dream about him constantly I just don't understand how he claims to love me too and just be okay with not talking for a week. It's so frustrating genuinely especially that he's the one who brought up our families meeting in the first place. I know we have the capacity to genuinely be healthy and stable and grow together but he's just so infuriating and I'm just so hurt and annoyed. My friends think he may just be mentally ill and I'm sick of always not knowing where I stand with him

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang, that does sound super frustrating and confusing. This back and forth would drive me crazy too if a girl was doing that to me. A few things that pop out - first, if he's the one who brought up meeting families and then ghosts for a week, that's messed up. Guys our age can be really emotional and suck at communicating sometimes. When he's drunk I bet he really does still have feelings, but sober he probably gets scared and runs.

The mental illness thing could be possible too, especially with the mood swings and hot/cold behavior. Either way, you don't deserve to be strung along or left hanging like that. I'd say try sitting him down face to face when he's sober and be like look, I need you to figure yourself out and decide what you really want here. If he wants to be with you, he needs to show it with his actions and not just words. Maybe taking some real time apart would help give you both clarity too. As much as it sucks, you might have to be ready to move on if he can't commit. Don't let him keep messing with your feelings! You seem like a really caring, loyal girl - you should be with someone who treats you the same way. I know it's hard, but definitely put yourself first here. Feel free to hmu if you ever want to vent more!

[Asker]

Lol hey is the offer to vent still available?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yes it is, just follow me, tell me what your name is and I’ll follow you

[Anonymous]

Id wonder if he just lost interests in you for some reason.