Should you be clear about your intentions as far as sex when dating or talking to your crush?

[Egyptiannn]

[blueonblack22]

Women often “say” guys should do more this. But that only works if and only if:

• The woman is already interested. That often hard to know for sure because women are often better at hiding that
• The woman is in the mood to hear that idea
• How tactful the guy is at delivering his intentions.

However if none of the above criteria are met there is an exponentially high risk of the woman being turned off and creeped out. What’s even worse is she might have been interested if she was in a different mood and/or the guy had more “game” communicating his intentions. But if he screws it up (regardless if it was his fault or just bad timing) he is now near permanently banned in her mind from that ever being an opportunity. Especially if he didn’t express the way she would like to hear it.

Ladies the reason why most men don’t speak directly about wanting sex is because you trained us to be that way. In fact some of you overtrained us with all that #metoo bullshit that went down a few years ago.

However it’s good more women are being direct with their intentions. Even if they caught the guy at a bad time or messed up saying what they wanted they won’t most likely be banned from the guy forever. Women get a lot more leeway when it comes to (unintentionally) acting “creepy” than men do. A lot more forgiveness.

[nonyabeez-wax]

Well, for men no.

Women should be as direct as possible.

For men, if they want a relationship, they should aim for the friend zone. You avoid the friend zone, by aiming for it. It keeps happening to me with women I'm genuinely not interested in. Not a lot. But it does, and I'm not even attractive.

[Anonymous]

Elaborate on your terms.


Dating: doesn’t necessarily mean we’re together, why expecting sex…! A couple of dates or we’re actually in a relationship…?
So is this a one night stand?
friends with benefits?
Crush:
Why should one have sex with a crush? So y'all spread y’all legs for candies these days….! The hell….🙄
Crushing is the feelings/emotions that comes before dating, that’s if there is any possibilities for dating.
Yes communication🧐🧐 is key, communicate any little details. My pussy is expensive danm it. It’s not a fucking church where anyone comes pray (cum) and go 😂😂😂.


Soooo! 😁😁😁 I took this too personal, I was just sharing my opinion! Ight!!

[Egyptiannn]

I mean if you and your crush actually start talking and with communication the both of you find out that you both have a deep attraction toward one another. So, you guys start planning or talking about things you can do to chill and go out together but in the back of your mind you know any of those things can lead to sex considering the attraction is mutual. Even if it’s just a date. I’m not talking about a crush that you never even spoken to or they don’t even know you have taken a liking to them. That would clearly be weird to think that the two of you need to have any conversation about you guys intentions as far as sex goes considering the two you haven’t even crossed the first bridge, which would be interaction.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, it’s possible!

[YesterdaysChild]

Is this the main reason people go on dates these days, to have sex? I think "date" should be changed to "hookup".

[robhazelnut]

People can only be partially clear about what they intend to -do- in any situation ; one can say they intend to go grocery shopping, but would have to be unclear about all that they don't know, like how many steps they intend to take or how many people they intend to walk by, and so on. However, a person can be 100% clear about what they intend to -not do-.

This applies to sex.

[robhazelnut]

Now that I think about it, there are millions of things to not do in any situation, so I was incorrect saying that that one can be 100% clear about what they intend to -not do- either.

At this point, it seems to me that one can honestly say some things they intend to do or not do for a measure of time. For any sprt of relationship to work, the recipient would need to accept that there are always unknowns and not expect someone to educate them about all of existence.

[robhazelnut]

Mutually learning and respecting boundaries is what's important.

[mobiusforniner]

Um, pretty sure just telling my crush upfront that I want to smash her poon left, right, backwards and upside down will probably not go over well. Shit, depending on the day my wife of 10 years would probably flip me off

i mean, do people seriously consider such audacity an admirable quality? Have some class, gawd.

But when chuck Norris says “fuck you and the horse you rode on”, you know for sure he’s announcing his intentions….

[Benjiman19]

I think it's important that someone who you want to be in a relationship with knows your intentions or thoughts on the subject of sex or anything like it. Just be forward about it, yet don't push too far up front. Don't go into all of your kinks first thing. Ease into it. Tell them a little later on what more you wish to do or try.

[RingOfFire]

When dating:

I don't think you need to say anything about having sex unless the other person brings it up and you decide if you want to engage in it or not. Bringing it up before that is presumptuous and unnecessary.

For a "crush:"

I don't know why you would bring it up at all at the point when this is only about a crush. It's inappropriate at that stage. Again, no need to talk about it unless the other person brings it up.

[ohmyguy]

Well. sure.. I would want to Date Any one who's nieve about my intentions or a other males. Primary motivation to Date is to have sex. Any interest men have with woman is sex sex sex... ultimately. We must maintain a high degree if mutual respect no matter what the out come.. keeping with in the the realms of reality on our personal levels is a must.. better we communicate.. the better our ubdersting of how to navigate

[Anonymous]

Yes. Don’t risk being friend zoned. Also, if you are trying to hide that level of attraction, you could inadvertently send out certain vibes. I understand that women don’t want guys around pretending to be platonic and secretly lusting after her; hoping to get laid eventually. Besides, it shows a lack of confidence by not admitting to it.

[ZackBan]

Clear, absolutely.

But it shouldn't be seen as a medical procedure.

It's something to be brought up in a positive manner.
Flirting about it is a good way to state intentions.
Just make sure you are not sending mixed messages.

[WhitneySnow]

Absolutely. I was very clear with my boyfriend about what I would or wouldn’t do (of course we’ve been together for two years now so the list of what I would do has grown considerably)

[EmmaMary]

Good communication is the essence of forming a strong relationship.

[JamesRandiDebates]

From the guy's perspective, it's always best to set your intentions upfront. Let her know that the only reason you are talking to her is because you want to access her pussy (use more polite words, but make sure she understands). Girls should do the same. If you want a boyfriend, be clear about it.

[Kabluie]

It's a good idea, plus the important stuff gets covered like birth control, whether STI-free things and such. When that's out of the way, sex is more fun too.

[di3storted]

I like this mindset because I always get nervous to talk about it so this gives me something to think about!

[Kabluie]

@di3storted exactly, and it always goes well because you know it's going to happen. Maybe they don't like condoms and would like the safe route to start, "hey have you been tested recently?" kind of things. Comfortable subject.

[Bearrrrr]

Always be clear with your intentions even if that means it might hurt them you don’t wanna waste anyone’s time or play them

[Forceinhand]

Well of course your intentions should be clear. They always should be regardless. Don't play any games and be upfront about what you want/seek. And thus avoid unneseccary conflict.

[Joshydavid25]

Yeah, it's the right thing to do.. To at least be up front and honest so that they have the choice to engage or not.

[nawtee_me]

Being clear on this point leaves no room for expectations. No one should expect sex but it does happen. Making it clear from the start sets the expectations in the beginning.

[Light_beam]

Lol, you are making it a huge issue.. all of that doesn't matter ! i will end up having sex soon or latter ! women just like to give it a meaning !

[Wise4myage]

Yes, but only after I have gotten to know a girl. If a guy ask a crush that question, than its gonna turn her off.

[Ironic_Method]

I mean... I'm generally upfront about it. I don't want to lead anyone on or be disappointed myself.

[Vegasrunner]

Women are more attracted to men whose intentions are unclear.

[serious_miss419]

If the crush isn’t mutual, then keep to urself or chat with some friends