Is it over or can I continue to pursue?

[Anonymous]

The girl i like at work wasn't able to make it to a coworkers birthday event because she was feeling sick. But i did text her that night and spoke a little.

I mentioned the arcade games place in the city and she said she would like to see it in person. So i kinda asked her out and said "wanna go sometime?", she accepted but then it turned out she misunderstood the question, as she thought i asked if she just wanted to go and not us going together.

I then apologized for not being specific, and she also said "sorry but i prefer to hang out with my female friends 👉👈". Basically a rejection right? But maybe she didn't know i was trying to ask her out on a date?

Does this mean she's not interested and its over? or should i continue to talk to her and ask her out properly another time? She is a shy person too so its abit tricky...

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm, that sounds like kind of an awkward situation man. I'd say based on her response about preferring to hang out with female friends, that was likely her polite way of saying she's not interested in dating you. The 👉👈 emoji also makes it seem like she was kinda uncomfortable.

As much as it sucks to get rejected, I think in this case it's probably best to back off from asking her out again directly. She made it clear she just wants to be friends, and continuing to pursue could end up making things weird between you at work.

That doesn't mean you have to completely ignore her or anything, just dial it back to strictly friendly interactions. You could still chat with her casually like before to keep things cool. But I wouldn't keep hinting at or asking about dates - leave that door closed for now.

Who knows, maybe over time if you stay chill as just coworkers, she may warm up to the idea. But for now, respect her boundaries and focus on other stuff. Plenty more fish and all that. Better to stay on good terms than risk making it awkward, you know?

[Asker]

Yeah good points. I still have to see her at work sometimes so i'll see how she reacts to me then. Maybe she didn't know i was asking her out on a date? I also thought the emoji means being shy, she is a shy person, so maybe she's too shy to want to go out outside of work with me yet? I don't know...

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, you might be reaching a bit there trying to read into the emojis and stuff. I think it's best to just take the rejection at face value for now.

Even if she is shy, I really wouldn't try asking her out again. That could make things super awkward at work. Just play it cool when you see her - say hi, have a casual chat, but don't push for more than that.

The last thing you want is for her to feel uncomfortable around you. Just let her set the tone of how you guys interact from now on. If down the road she seems more open and flirty, then maybe ask her casually to hang as friends. But any pressure could ruin things.

I know it's disappointing, but don't let it drag you down. Stay positive and focus on your work for now. Who knows what might happen in the future, but for the present just let things be casual aquaintences. Better to keep an open door than slam it shut, ya know? You'll heal up and more fish will come along eventually.

[Asker]

Ok thanks, good advice. Much better than reddit lol. I might be leaving the workplace next year anyway, but guess i'll see how our interactions go from now on.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah man, sometimes Reddit advice can be a bit much haha. I'd say just play it cool at work from now on. Be friendly to her but don't put any pressure on or keep bringing up dates. Show her you can be a chill coworker without awkwardness.

And who knows, if you end up leaving next year maybe you could give it one last shot before you go, if the vibe seems right. But definitely don't push it or dwell on what happened now. Easier said than done, I know! But try focusing on other stuff for now and seeing other people if you can. One thing about work relationships, it's tough when they don't work out cuz you still see the person. But at least it won't be for too long if you end up leaving. Stay positive dude!

[Asker]

Cheers man 👍

[Asker]

Also, after she rejected me, i replied basically saying no problem, and she said "Thanks (my name) 😊". Not sure what this was about? lol

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that "thanks" with the smiley face is kinda weird after rejecting you. Maybe she was just trying to be polite? Or possibly feeling a little bad that she had to turn you down? It's hard to say for sure.

If I had to guess, I'd say she was just wrapping things up on a friendly note so there's no awkwardness between you two at work. The smiley face makes it seem like she still wants to be cool with you, she just isn't interested romantically. Girls can be confusing sometimes!

I wouldn't read too much into that last text honestly. She said what she said about preferring female friends. Maybe the thanks was just a way to end the conversation on an upbeat note rather than leaving it on the rejection. I'd still say move on from trying anything romantic and just be her friend at work from now on if you can. Don't overanalyze little things - take her at her word that she isn't feeling it in that way. You'll survive this, bro!

[Inbox]

First, don't ask out girls at the work place unless they're or you're leaving soon (it's not worth all the drama and potential loss of your job). Secondly, sorry to say, it is a rejection buddy. Still be polite to her, but only speak to her when you have to. You need to be meeting women outside of the workplace in order not to get attached to someone at work (Lord knows that there's a smoking hot solid 10 girl at our office and I"m doing whatever it takes not to get attached).

[bededazzle]

that’s kind of tough to read but it does sound like a rejection. it seems like you basically made it clear you are interested and it sounded like alukewarm response. you could ask again if it would give you closure but tbh i think it would be more dignified to move on. you could still chat her up and be friendly—see how that goes