Should I continue to pursue this girl?

[Prettypettygemini]

For starters I’m completely aware of how dumb I look coming on the internet asking strangers for advice on this but idgaf 😂. I’ve been talking to this girl for awhile & I really like her & want to move things further. I just found out she got out of a serious long term relationship 6 months ago. And me being the overthinking , anxiety having ass that I am , I’m a little worried if that’s long enough to get over a serious relationship & come back to yourself. My general rule is that I don’t pursue people unless they’ve been single at least a year , because I like someone that can take time to get to know themself & isn’t dependent on the validation of having a relationship, but for her I would def make the exception. I guess what I want to know , what do y’all think is an appropriate amount of time for someone to really get over a long term relationship before pursuing another one?

[ochitougly]

The amount of time doesn’t really matter because it depends fully on how her previous relationship was, how it ended and what it meant. You should try to have an honest conversation and tell her your feelings and if she’s ready for a relationship and if not you could just stay her friend until she’s ready. :)

[Prettypettygemini]

It was a trauma bond type of situation & her ex ended up cheating & getting pregnant. She offered to help raise the baby , but her ex got an abortion. Then they broke up a bit afterwards. It was definitely my definition of messy. Thank you for your advice , I’ll def try to have a conversation with her about it 🙏

[Chazmatazz269]

If you haven’t already made a friend of her, start there. You’ll be able to learn enough about her to know if she’s over the breakup and whether or not you’re a good match. If you have already made friends bide your time. Once she trusts you enough to confide that stuff, make your move. That is if you’re still interested.

[Avicenna]

What really matters is whether they have moved on emotionally, and there's no set timetable for that, although I think one year is much longer than necessary. I'd say three months or so unless it was an abusive relationship.

[Anonymous]

There is no set time limit for these situations. If you feel you are ready, then make a move.

[jasco]

Honestly their nothing wrong with asking strangers for advice. I agree with your year wait to date someone and honestly she may be ok. I would wait a little longer, but if you want to. Ask her out on a date and see where it takes you

[Ironic_Method]

Where'd you get the year thing from? Some people are fine hours after. Some people are never fine. But it would be unfortunate that you let this opportunity pass because YOU think she needs more time.

[Philyouup]

ask her out on a date. Tell her it’s just a date. feel her out. sit around and you might loose out

[Waldoe]

"Follow your Heart" before she finds a rebound relationship the Is NOT you...

[Vick2828]

In my opinion that one year rule is dumb. If you like be with her. Ask her out.

[Guy13]

This is a same-sex pursuit?

[Prettypettygemini]

Yes , we are both lesbian

[Guy13]

I do not understand how that works given form and function are incompatible but whatever... In any relationship there is a time period for recovery. It takes at least 6 months free and clear on one's own before a reasonable perception of emotional health can be ascertained. --And, it is likely that the first relationship in the recently broken-up person life will be the Rebound relationship. She knows she's pretty etc... --The question is... Are you willing to give of yourself to end up as Rebound Relationship? You know how these things work as an Adult. If you are looking for Security, I would pass or at least give it through the New Year. Influence of 4th Quarter holidays will distort and REVEAL much... Good luck.
What I am saying make any sense?

[Prettypettygemini]

I get what you’re saying 💯 Thank you for being straight forward. And no I’m not really willing to be a rebound , I already have abandonment issues. It would not be good for me 😅

[Guy13]

Thank you for not going postal like most people would. You obviously have a good soul. I know other women that find an emotional attachment with the same-sex and that is fulfilling BUT then they turn around and need a guy because Purpose, Form, and Function are not met within same-sex paradigm. Is that you too? ... I play soccer with a couple of these girls...

[Prettypettygemini]

No, I am 100% lesbian, I have been since I could remember. I grew up around all men so I definitely have respect for them , but as far as attraction. I have absolutely no emotional or physical attraction towards men. I see what you are saying a lot amongst bisexual women though. Most bisexual women do end up with men.

[Guy13]

Oh, I see. These two girls say they are Lesbians but one definitely can't live without a guy's parts. Maybe she feel into bisexual stuff. All of it is foreign to me as I'm simple about this kind of thing. Are you a City or Country girl?

[Prettypettygemini]

She’s not, her ex is a girl , she’s also 100% lesbian😂 The issue is not our sexuality. The question was about if someone can really move on from a relationship within 6 months. I was born & raised on a farm in Iowa, but moved to the city a few years ago. So kind of a mix of both.