I am a 22 year old female and I've recently been talking to this one guy I met through Tinder. The first date went well, we went to a nice restaurant, and he paid for the both of us. We had a lot of similarities, We both like traditional roles, I want a man who provides, and he wants a housewife. Everything went well until I got to the second date. He mentioned something about anime and how he loves to watch "one piece" and “Baki”. I found it kind of off-putting. I find anime kind of feminine and childish? I’ve personally seen a few episodes of sailor moon when I was younger but I don’t watch it anymore now that I’m in college. I don’t really see a future with him and I feel that watching anime is kind of an ick to me. I blocked the guy and asked my close friend what she thought but she said i was being an asshole about the anime thing. I don’t really know what to think anymore, aita?
And this ladies and gentlemen is exactly how future “incels” are made.
@bunbunbunny attraction isn’t a choice but respect is. You do not have to feel attracted or turned off towards any person for any reason. You want to reject an otherwise decent guy over an insanely fickle and ridiculous reason? Fine. Suit yourself.But for the love of God at least respect this guy and tell him you rather not date anymore. But you are too much of selfish coward (which is worse than being an asshole by the way) to give the poor guy a heads up.
Why is it so hard for you to send him at least a text first saying you don’t want to date anymore and then blocking him? Instead you want to be a cowardly POS and leave him wondering wtf he did wrong.
This can potentially do more damage to his self esteem than you can ever possibly imagine. Sure it was only after 2 dates but still that was horrible. On top of that you said “he paid for the both of us” for an expensive dinner. You are real selfish piece of sh*t to accept that from him and then do what you did. Do you know that? Really you are. Do you think he is going to be motivated to treat other future out for nice dates when this could be a risk?
The biggest issue is that you are not alone in your horrible behavior. More young women are acting this ridiculous nowadays. They are being told to indulge “their feelings” with zero thought of the long term ramifications and damage they can cause.
If he gets rejected in the future by other women for fickle reasons he’s going to grow in deeper in resentment. You are probably hoping that you are an isolated incident and for his sake I hope you are. But you definitely added a huge checkmark in the misogyny column for that one.
Unblock him and send him a carefully written apology saying you handled everything wrong and he deserved a lot more respect than what you showed. Tell him he did absolutely nothing wrong and it’s a you problem not a him problem. Then block him right after you send it. At least give the poor guy a modicum of closure of though. It will make him slightly better to read that. You will feel better yourself after sending it. Trust me.
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Oh... Anime and childish... Here we go again... If it was about the Western cartoons, I would agree. About anime... I'll try to compile a list of anime I would not allow my children to watch (unless I wanted to make them far more than ready for what this world has to offer, and also mentally broken in the process):
- Death Note - "This world is a rotten mess" is not exactly the first thing I would like my children to learn about the reality. I mean... It's true, but let the children have their childhood... At the age of about 16, I would definitely recommend it to them in order to set them ready for what they are about to encounter in their adult life, up to 6 years earlier if they shared my own fate of being bullied by their classmates, but at least 10 years of innocence is what every child deserves. And still, me introducing my children to the topic of death and killing as a method of keeping the world from being depraved at the age of 16 would probably be frowned upon.
- Code Geass - Let's keep children out of the dirty world of politics during their childhood. 16 years of age would be fine, 14 if they already became interested in how politics works (though I would try to discourage them until at least the age of 16 anyway, I don't want them getting paranoid).
- Attack on Titan - Oh yeah, buckets and buckets of blood and gore is definitely what every child needs... No. It is not. I pray unto God Almighty, if I get to have a wife and a family, they shall be kept safe from any immediate life-threatening danger until at least the age of 16 (for the children, of course). Though I guess I could hint to them that life-threatening danger exists at about the age of 14 (and still, most people would want to execute me in a brutal way for that).
- Jormungand - Arms dealing, violence, firearms, child soldiers... No, not until at least the age of 16, though given the somewhat criminal context of the story, I'd say the age of 18 would be much more suitable. There might be less actual blood than in Attack on Titan, but the story is far more realistic and possibly inspiring.
- Mirai Nikki - OK, this one is ambigous. If I had a son and a yandere-style girl got interested in Him, I would recommend the story to Him as soon as I learned about this predicament of His to allow Him to learn about the possible implications of getting involved with this type of girls (though I would show Him the Alternate Ending OVA as well). If I had a son and He never got to know a real-life Gasai Yuno, I wouldn't introduce Him into the topic of fate and changing that fate until at least the age of 15, and it would be the same if I had a daughter (some might claim it's still too soon, especially due to some... mostly implicit, but still lewd content - though if my children asked me what it means to "become one" with someone, I'd go for the biblical meaning of a lifelong commitment to Your loved one rather than the much more vulgar meaning of physical intimacy).
- Youjo Senki - Oh yeah, even more blood, gore and serious moral dilemmas... Potentially suitable for children older than 14, but I'd personallly fear my children would grow up to become psychopaths.
And that's only based on the anime I know, meaning I've actually watched them. There's a lot more, including the (in) famous "h-anime" (I'm not going to write the actual word for it, not even if You paid me - though if You ask really nicely, I might provide You with a way to pronounce it, based on two English words). Is the latter "childish"? Well... It's definitely somewhat immature (though I've heard it's still better than the Western take on this genre, and I've heard of a certain six-digit manga that might actually be kind of... moralizing, I guess...), but it's also definitely targeted at adults, pick Your choice.
Now, as far as I know, One Piece is Your regular, wholesome adventure anime. Probably with a little of rule-breaking, but nothing really serious. About "Baki"... I actually had to check it out, so Your Tinder date is definitely a bit of a connoisseur. Pretty high-end, to be honest. The anime itself is apparently about a martial arts champion, so... I guess it's going to be pretty complex.
So... Is anime feminine? Some of it is, some is not. I'd say My Dress-Up Darling gives off a bit of a feminine, cutesy vibe, but it's still fine to watch. There are also some shōjo manga (and anime), but none of what Your Tinder date likes fits this category.
Is anime childish, then? Again, some of it is, some is not. Most of the world-famous series are not. Some are suitable for children (though I guess it's usually going to be middle-school children upwards), but actually teach them how to be mature and responsible people (Yahari Ore no Seishun Love Comedy wa Machigatteiru., I'm looking at You - and yes, I had to copy-paste the title). It's not like the Western cartoons, it's not only for children (and those that are actually targeted for Japanese children are usually unknown in the West).
So... As long as He actually provides and You are a good housewife, I think it would work out for You. At this point, however, He might have moved on.
So, you find this guy. He vibes with you. You have matching qualities and similar interests. And the deal breaker was anime.
Imagine this situation:
Similar setting; second date and it's going well. You've been talking and just about everything is perfect. You mention something you saw on Real Housewives the other night (or whatever show you like) and he does what you did and once the date is over he blocks you. He tells you beforehand that he finds that show and people who like it a turn off. What's your initial reaction? Do you find him an asshole for it?
To be fair it is pretty childish to block someone over such a silly reason, but yeah you’re the a******. You must not have actually liked him that much lol. There are a lot of adults that watch anime and if that is the worst thing about him then that’s actually not a bad thing
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I take it you really didn’t like the guy , be wise blocking someone for liking Anime , is kind of childish as well , that to me is a silly reason not to like someone , that’s like blocking someone because you dont like the music they listen to. So if you are going to keep blocking someone because they like something that you don’t like , good luck trying to find a partner , your preferences are way to high
It sounds like you're in a bit of a tough spot. When it comes to relationships, it's important to have compatibility in values, interests, and lifestyle choices. However, it's also crucial to remember that everyone has their unique hobbies and interests, which might not always align perfectly with ours.
In this case, the guy you were dating enjoys anime, which is a popular form of entertainment enjoyed by many people of various ages and backgrounds. While it's completely okay for you to not be interested in anime, it might be worth considering whether this difference in interests is a dealbreaker for you. If watching anime is something that he enjoys and it doesn't negatively impact his responsibilities or your relationship, it might be more of a personal preference rather than an inherent negative trait.
Blocking him without discussing your feelings might have been a bit abrupt, especially since the rest of the date went well and you both seemed to share similar values in other areas. Communication is key in any relationship, and it could have been helpful to express your thoughts about his interest in anime and see if there was room for understanding or compromise.
Your friend's perspective suggests that she might view this situation as a minor difference in interests rather than a major red flag. It's okay to have dealbreakers, but it's also important to consider whether those dealbreakers are based on essential values or personal preferences.
In the end, you're not an "asshole" for having preferences in a relationship. It's about finding a balance between what's crucial for you in a partner and being open to the individual differences each person brings to a relationship. If anime is a definite dealbreaker for you, that's your choice, but it might be worth reflecting on why it bothers you so much and if it's something that could be overlooked for the right person.
feminine and childish? it is obvious you don't know what anime even is, most animes are far more adult content than actual movies you can be sure
their philosophies are much more deep
their erotic scenes are far more erotic
their bloody gore scenes are much more violent
their social messages and views on society is better
their display of humanly bonds are far more deeper and meaningfull.
you are the asshole and worse than that you are having negative opinions on something you didn't even see or watch or get an actual idea about it, sailor moon? i say sorry for it's fans but that is one of the worst examples for animes. there are 1000s better animes than sailor moon.
you don't have to see a future with him or even like him enough to pursue a proper relationship.
but it was childish on your move to block him simply for watching and enjoying anime. if you were to sit down and actually watch the good ones out there, you'll see that it isn't just childish nor feminine. everything about him was aligning with what you seek but him mentioning his enjoyment for anime was literally the only thing that made you block him, which is actually sad.
sometimes it's good to have an open mind and understand each other. you could've asked him why he liked anime before blocking him.I find it odd that you did that. It's not like he was watching it to ignore you on a date or anything (this would be a different story if he was). But you blocked him just for sharing something he liked? I'd say yes, yes you are. But as an anime fan myself, I can gurantee you that many animes are aimed at teens & adults and can have mature scenes. You've only watched one anime out of millions of popular animes there are out there. And One Piece is a great anime (I've only read a bit of the manga version, but haven't watched yet).
It's was somewhat stretch to so all that because of that reason, it's somewhat childish of you to throw a good connection you had with someone that matched most if not all your preferences just cause he watches cartoons, some people see cartoons as a therapy (myself included) I'd say as long as he isn't walking around dressed like the cartoon character or going out of his way of important roles in life to watch cartoons, I think you might have just thrown away someone you had good compability with, I'm sure then when you try finding someone else and struggle to do so, you'll complain on why you can't, it's for small things like this.
I understand maybe it's not something you are into but I can assure you that you aren't perfect either and will most likely have flaws the other person won't like but what would you want, for them to accept you and love you anyways, or throw you to the curb for having such flaws? I'm just keeping it real.I'm into anime myself. And you have no clue what anime is about.
Anime is a medium. It's not only for kids or girls.
And yes, you're the asshole for blocking someone because of a huge prejudice you have of a hobby you know nothing about.
YTAAnime and animation is just a medium for talling a story, nothing feminine or childish about it. I know plenty of anime that qualifies as fucked-up horror with people getting gored and dismembered in great detail. Corpse party, higurashi: where the cicadas cry, parasyte, ajin, another, berserk, devilman, and elven lied, are a few examples.
Those that don't watch anime tend to not know the vast variety of stories, that are not for children and directed to adults, while only go off the usual one's only shown on tv that are pg13 for young adults.
Its best not to judge but try to understand the interest of those you are romantically interested in.(unless they are illegal... obviously)You're not an asshole but anime isn't feminine or childish. There are quite a few adult like anime out there that is far from feminine. Psycho-Pass is one of those that I would say is mature and adult like. You shouldn't have ridden him off based off that alone. There is probably way more to him than anime. You probably have something about you that might be off-putting and you would feel like crap if a guy rid you off because of it. Again not saying you're an asshole for blocking him but you are really judgmental.
I mean if you like the guy otherwise blocking him is kind of childish. anime doesn’t really say anything about his character or who he is and you shouldn’t assume that he is a certain way because of it. He just enjoys the content and That’s okay. Maby there are things you enjoy that are dumb to someone else. I for one can’t understand why anyone would like celebrity gossip but some like it. It doesn’t mean they are a bad person they just get caught up in whatever the drama is. Same with any t. v show really. If they can’t keep our attention they can’t make money from it. That’s just the way it is. I wouldn’t blame him for finding something he likes
I love cartoons. Not particularly anime, but anime is the same as gaming. It's a thing some people like. I don't know that I'd write someone off so quickly over cartoon preference.
I don't think you're an asshole, but awfully quick to the draw over something I'd consider minor. He's not watching porn.
Yes you very much are.
1. You judged his whole personality based of one of his interests (which in my opinion everyone should respect others interests unless its harming them)
2. You blocked him with no explaination now he'd wonder wtf went wrong. You feel watching anime is childish but yourself dont wanna deal with situations like these like a grown up. Grown ups talk about off putting things.
YTA - I want my girl to show interest in something outside of the relationship. Hobbies, like watching anime, is that something - you dont have to make their hobby your hobby, but to cut off a relationship strictly because of a mundane hobby is wild
anime is not childish. many animated stuff for kids just mean "they are clean, no erotic," not childish. they have plot stories and can be interesting with suspense surprises and comedy and are made to grab a kids interest so more interesting than adult drama.
YTM (You're the MILF). Instead of saying "TLDR" I'd rather tag @D_Bone_Steak and talk about how I intuitively know what your question is about without even reading it. I should try closing my eyes and doing automatic typing. Let the holy ghost of the Orgasmosphere pour the coowisdom. You're an asshole because you didn't say "you're an immature piece of fuck for watching kiddy cartoons as an adult" before blocking him.
I get your concern. Guys who like anime come off as immature and/or possibly perverted. There was one anime that a friend recommended that finally helped me understand the anime craze - it was “Attack on Titans”. The storyline was so good that it could’ve been done with actual (human) actors. I’d say that if he has a job, goals and ambitions, & no apparent psychological issues/criminal record then there’s no reason to not continue the relationship.
I had a girl block me because I mentioned I played video games. It is what it is. They aren’t a very big part of my life these days, but I’d rather keep them than a woman who can’t stand the idea I don’t conform to her idea of what a man should and shouldn’t be interested in.
YTA
A lot of people are getting into anime and manga because unlike Western shows and comics they care more about making quality art than pushing an agenda. Sailor Moon is an anime that is for girls, there are plenty more animes for guys. I remember hanging with some masculine and not at all nerdy black dudes 20 years ago and they were watching Dragon Ball Z.
Well, I go to the gym all the time, lift heavy, and look pretty muscular.. If you ever saw me, you would think I was manly.. And I like being manly... And I also like Anime.. This is why people have a hard time finding good SOs.. Any little thing they don't like and they're onto the next one.. That was an a-hole move.. The guys probably wondering what he did to deserve being blocked..
I own two houses, a business, and more than a dozen rental units. The only debt I have is the mortgage on some of the rental units, and that will be paid off by 2030. I also enjoy some anime. So do what you want, but your assumptions are not necessarily true.
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