I don't approach women anymore because I guess women don't like to be approached by random guys and figuring them out is tiring?

[Anonymous]

People say I'm wrong for doing this. Is it true?

[AmandaYVR]

Unless you're in a bar or dating context where it's expected, most women won't say yes. That's not to say that it's always a bad thing, though.

Most women need to feel comfortable, safe, and that comes with familiarity. They need to see the guy repeatedly, develop a rapport, see him in context of something else (a shop they both frequent in the same neighbourhood, through mutual friends, a family member knows them, a business colleague or service provider, etc.) I asked a q on here about how people met their partners and females are way more likely to have started out as friends. Some men don't believe this, probably as they often conclude it's a waste of time (being 'friendzoned' - waste of time and resources), but for women, this is common. We're vulnerable, physically. So take that into consideration.

I do not believe men should not to do all the asking, so don't start at me with that, please, but it's a shit show out there these days. Plus, necessity isn't what it was, so people are picky and intolerant af. (I could rant more but I'll stop there.) But here's my most male-upvoted topic I've ever written about: The Personal and Societal Benefits of Girls Taking the Initiative With Guys in Relationships )

People are staying inside so much, and staying to themselves so much, there isn't nearly as much of a chance of meeting people 'out in the wild' anymore. But think 'familiarity' when you do. Cold-approaches rarely work.

[Asker]

I appreciate your response. It was very insightful. I personally don't go to clubs or bars because I'm a die hard introvert and I can't really say I've ever approached a women before. It was just one of those asking for a friend kinda question really. I'm not all that good looking so personally I don't go o out of my way trying to meet new women unless it's through some friends of mine but I could never see me cold approaching a Women I've never seen before.. maybe if it was in that top 1%

[AmandaYVR]

Oof, I made a stupid typo there again. I often forget 'not', but in this case I added 'not' when I didn't mean to grrrr. I mean to say, "I do not believe men should do all the asking..."

And, you're welcome. Thanks for the thanks. Many comments seem to go into a void...

Yeah, I've always been the same way. I've approached guys once in a while (and they tended to be my best relationships), but it's always after some other prior interactions. I like a business context, or perhaps playful, to start with. I can get a tiny sense of if they're up for chatting. (But yeah, it's kind of semi-terrifying.)

[HelpfulWoman]

you are dipping into the "being a utter moron" waters. go home incel.

[Anonymous]

Nah man, you do you.

[Jmmmfi4]

I DON'T BLAME YOU

[LazerBean]

Go right ahead