How realistic is it to date your ideal type?

Question

Some people say that it’s just an “ideal” type because it’s not very realistic or likely to date them.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

I think some people's ideals are way too specific. They are also unrealistic given what they, themselves, have to offer.

Appearance is the easy part.
I always dated women whose faces and figures fell within my general ideals. But my ideal wasn't overly specific. Everyone is unique. I wasn't looking for a cookie cutter image of some Barbie.

I wasn't too rigorous about personality, either. Again, everyone is unique. As long as they were fun and we got along well, I was happy. From there, we would go steady and see, over time, if we could see ourselves spending the rest of our lives together.

I believe in infatuation, but not "love" at first sight. After passing through the infatuation phase in which you idealize each other, you start seeing each other realistically. You get to know each other's true personalities, behaviors, habits, idiosyncrasies, lifestyles, hopes, dreams, ethics and values. If you still adore and respect each other despite any differences, you may decide to commit to spending the rest of your lives together, knowing that marriage is the most important commitment of your lives. In my opinion, there is no going back on that commitment, so you have to be as certain as possible.

Are you both perfect? Nope. Nobody is perfect. And since everyone is different, you have to be flexible in accommodating each other. The question isn't if your partner is ideal. It is whether or not you are both committed to each other's happiness and fulfillment. Love is not selfish or self-centered.

CalmUntilAbused · Accepted Answer

Well... "Ideal" and "idealistic" are two different words, and they can be used in different contexts as well. No single person is ideal, meaning "a perfect saint" or something along those lines. However, a person can be an ideal example of a certain type You might have, if the type is not too idealistic. I guess the more detailed Your type is, the less possible it is to find a person like that. As for my own type, there is a number of shy, kind, modest and solemn bookworms among girls. While I haven't done any survey, I think most bookworms would wear glasses (though that is a secondary requirement, I simply find women in glasses - though usually not sunglasses - a little more endearing, I guess I just like the nerdy look). Some of them might also be believers as well, and those would most likely fit the "kind, modest and solemn" part, and they would likely be loyal as well. If what I just listed is an exhaustive list of my requirements (and it mostly is), I'm quite likely to find a Girl like that. If I had many more requirements, regarding things like height, figure (okay, now I do have some requirements for figure, but they are so loosely defined that they can be considered hardly existent), face shape, hair color, eye color, hairstyle, dressing style (beyond being modest - I guess I do have a thing for the classic look, but this one is also up for negotiations)... things would become harder. Simple as that. Ask for what's realistic, and You will likely get it. Ask for too much and all You will get is frustration.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Accepted Answer

There doesn’t exist an ideal person in the world. We are all flawed in our own ways.

The thing is NOT to idealize your partner, instead accept them totally as they are and love them the way they are, with their little quirks, flaws and weaknesses.

This way you’ll avoid disappointments for both, you and him.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

I think if you had access to your ideal type, your standards would rise and your ideal type would bore you just as much as the unattractive people bore you now.

BourbonAndBacon · Answer

I did. It's doable but you've got to go on a lot of first dates to find your ideal type. If your determined to find the perfect person you have to move on quick after the first date before you catch feelings for someone who isn't your type or even right for you. If you only go on a couple dates a year you'll have to settle.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

There are men who meet my "personality and character" type. So I think it's pretty realistic :D

Crankor · Answer

If your willing to look, it can happen. The circumstances may be less convenient but generally worth it. In my case unfortunately there was an indirect issue that was negatively effecting her which would of made it impossible to progress. So with any relationship, mental health is pretty important

MissStrawberry912 · Answer

Looks? Yeah.  Personality & values? It’s complex.

Kokoaquest · Answer

My ideal is someone kind, nurturing, caring, financially secure, intelligent, healthy, hygienic and handsome in his own way. Is that too much to aks for... I don't think so.

Flatmanlewis · Answer

I only ever dated my type after about age 21. My type was entirely realistic, attainable, and so it wasn’t an impossible situation I put myself in.

AaronKrieger · Answer

Not realistic. They will likely share some aspects, but people often look for chemistry, which is hard to get.

NathanDavis · Answer

I always have... smart, interesting and funny...  it's not unrealistic at all

patrick994 · Answer

It is realistic, but a lot depends on what you demand and what you are looking for from a person.

sawno · Answer

Unrealistic yet somehow I managed to not just date my ideal, she exceeded my expectations.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Oh, hey, your "perfect" guy is just a few swipes away and he is waiting for you and you alone! Don't settle Queen, you are a perfect 10 and should only tolerate a Giga-Chad who is faithful and responsive only to you!

Nikki1989 · Answer

Some people get lucky. It happened to me.

NamerOfStars · Answer

Logically, that's going to depend on what your ideal type is, and how uncommon.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

My ideal type is basically a copy of my mind but in a cute busty female body. They aren't common, but they exist.

LazerBean · Answer

That is dependent upon how likable you are and how realistic your ideal type is.

Billlewis · Answer

For me, it's definitely a long shot, but it's still doable.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s realistic enough as long as you also do the work to be the “ideal” version of yourself that can match up with your ideal type.

Iron_Man · Answer

It’s probably difficult for the woman they probably want some type of a celebrity actor that they’ve liked for years but it’s not realistic,

Anonymous · Answer

I don’t think that exists. No one will fit perfectly into your ideal type box/category.

Likes2drive · Answer

It’s great if you can but the older we get the less likely it happens

Staximus · Answer

Not very realistic for me

WhitneySnow · Answer

Kind of rare

Anonymous · Answer

Extremely realistic for me

How realistic is it to date your ideal type?

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