Ladies, men have to worry about gold diggers. So knowing that some women ask what he does for living to assess his income how does a guy answer this?

[ChiTown33]

Without tipping her off to how much he makes? I get she wants to know what I do for a living and I have no problem divulging that. But how much I make is irrelevant and none of her business in the early going.

How should a guy answer this to avoid gold diggers?

[XHopelessRomanticX]

You can always give a vague answer by just talking about basic responsibilities. That way you don’t have to lie or give too much away. For example, if you’re a doctor or lawyer; just say you work with people, you help people handle their issues, and you do a lot of paperwork. A CEO? You work as a point of contact for a management team and oversee the development and execution of workflow strategies.

[ChiTown33]

I agree, except then it looks like you're evading the question. I think some women would read that as such. I'm not trying to hide what I do. In fact I like talking about what I do. I just want to make sure it's about what I do. Not what I earn from it.

[chrissykerdock]

a girl is going to know right away if a guy has money or not she doesn't have to ask or probe too hard... i have a boyfriend he's got a job let's say... we never go out on dates but we live in a democratic run city so we don't need to or want to... at the end of the day who cares about money... when i'm sure the rich guy isn't going to pay my bills are marry me... maybe if i were in my 20 they would but i'm 37 and nobody is going to want to marry me to quickly.

[ChiTown33]

You might be able to make educated guesses. But you really have no clue whether he's got money or not.

[chrissykerdock]

yes i can there's a lot of things to guess or look at

[slatyb]

Emotionally competent men do not have to worry about gold-diggers any more than emotionally competent women have to worry about abusive men. Insincere people aren't hard to spot. If one avoids putting more into a relationship than one is getting, it's not a problem.

[AmeerX]

Welcome to my culture. In arranged marriages especially, people weight a person in terms of money quite a lot and like to see the things he wears from gold and stuff to iPhone.

A respectable level of income is alright but it's getting ridiculous here

[ChiTown33]

Interesting. I would have thought the opposite. At least not outward appearance since I assume parents are doing the arranging?

[AmeerX]

Then you have no idea what happens in arranged marriages.
It's a gross reflection of the culture and family expectations. If either family is greedy they will show it in some way. If man's family is greedy they will want Dowry of exorbitant amount. If girls family is greedy they will want money. It's crazy.
And people do a lot of things to appear their best

[ChiTown33]

Wow, you're right that does sound gorrible.

[ChiTown33]

Horrible*

[LiamJHayden]

I try to weed out foodies and diggers by doing super simple things on first two meet ups. Asking what we do seems to be a natural part of general conversation. I tell them, being as unspecific as possible and them change the subject. If she keeps circling back, I assume she wants to know my income and I will never divulge that to some random girl I barely know.

[ChiTown33]

I agree, I guess I'm looking for that way of answering the question without divulging to much but still satisfying her curiosity. Because otherwise it looks like you're dodging the question possibly trying to hide something. And I'm not, I just like this being one of the first questions of hers (to me that's a clear red flag) because it comes off as she's trying size up my income.

[mandyfire98]

That's the thing you don't know what they're doing with that info. It could just be standard small talk. I have people ask me all of the time what I do for a living. All you can do is just answer honestly what you do. You don't need to tell her specifics on how much you actually make.

[ChiTown33]

Of course not that would be downright foolish. That's not the question I asked though.
No you don't know what they're doing with that info. As I told another on this question that's why if that's the FIRST question out of her mouth I typically consider it a red flag. Even though this doesn't guarantee anything.

[mandyfire98]

If it comes up in conversation and she asks what you do for a living just tell her. She might not be asking to find out how much you make. It might just be her wanting to broaden the conversation to your work.

Most people ask people what they do for a living. You probably want to know what she does for a living and it's not because you want to know how much money she's worth. It's just general curiosity.

If it's literally the first thing out of their mouth then yeah it's probably a bad sign. But "what do you do for a living?" is probably the biggest thing most people ask when they get to know someone. It's an extremely common question. Any date I've ever been on I've been asked that question.

Just don't date women that are lazy. Women who have their own careers won't be trying to gold dig. They make their own living.

[ChiTown33]

Well that's a given. But that's like me telling you women, "just choose quality men". You'd think, "well that's obvious why didn't I think of that".🙃😂
Yeah, we're all just doing the best we can. Thanks for your response.

[Thestupidusername]

Thats a red flag if she asks to be honest. Just answer "why are you asking?"

[ChiTown33]

It's a pretty standard question in dating I think. What you do says a lot about you. It CAN (not necessarily does) signal what your passions are.
I always try to look at HOW she asks. I mean if it's the FIRST question out of her mouth I think that's a bad sign. But I don't begrudge a woman for eventually asking it. I'm just looking for a clearer indicator.
So you really think a guys occupation has no bearing on who he is?

[Thestupidusername]

I dont think its wrong to ask the person what they do for a living is because its usually a big part of the person's life. But money itself is weird to ask at that stage.

[ChiTown33]

Of course. But that's what I'm saying. Like most doctors make more than most janitors. Never-ending prestige. So women can kind of get and idea of how much a man makes just by asking this question.

[Thestupidusername]

Yeah thats true i guess it all depends on why she is asking but I wouldn't ask a man how much money he makes unless he brings it up

[ChiTown33]

I meant to say "nevermind presitge". Yeah, I figure most women even if they were gold diggers wouldn't just come out and ask it either. Which is why I asked this question. Thanks for you input.

[Thestupidusername]

Makes sense! But I've seen some do actually..👍

[ChiTown33]

Oh I agree some do. Some are shameless.

[Thestupidusername]

👍👍

[Billlewis]

Whenever a woman asks me how much I make, I just tell her the truth, and go from there.

[ChiTown33]

I'm comfortable with what I do. But the "why" she's asking always concerns me.

[Billlewis]

Because she wants to determine how viable a candidate for marriage, or a long term relationship you are.

[spartan55]

God, this is a good question. I always just pray the conversation doesn't go there (in the beginning anyway)

[BourbonAndBacon]

I just say I make enough to pay all my bills. I want to downplay my income as much as possible because I live well within my means and I'm not changing that

[msc545]

I tell them I am self-employed which is actually true.

[ChiTown33]

Do they typically ask more probing questions? And how do you respond to that?

[msc545]

Oddly enough most do not ask further.