Should I tell potential partners about my mental disorders?

[WrinkleBrain]

I was diagnosed with seven mental disorders, including one personality disorder (BPD). There's a lot of stigmatization around mental disorders, especially around Cluster B personality disorders. From what I've seen online, people often regard people with BPD as manipulative, abusive, and violent. I'm scared to tell potential partners because I don't want them to think I'm a horrible person because of my disorders. Anytime I have, they didn't take me seriously and left when symptoms appeared. Some even insulted me. I'm not sure it's immoral to not tell potential partners about my medical information, but I find the risks to greatly outweigh the benefits.

Yes

No

Updates

4 mo

I meant to say "I'm not sure if it's immoral," not "I'm not sure it's immoral." My apologies for the typo.

[wolfcat87]

No, your identity doesn't revolve around some diagnoses. Most people have some degree of issues going on that could be linked to one diagnoses or another. Those issues don't matter nearly as much as how you treat your partner and make them feel. This whole label culture is newer anyways.

I've read through descriptions of various issues that could apply to me, but when I ask my husbands if they matter the answer is always no. They said you're functioning well and have a good life, so do those things even matter? We love you regardless, everyone else is happy with you, so the only point of a diagnoses would be for you. It's the same in reverse as well. They might be diagnosed with something if they looked hard enough, but it doesn't really matter to me.

Throwing out some random diagnoses to people you just met is definitely weird though. If the relationship isn't working, the diagnoses doesn't really matter. If it is working, then it still doesn't really matter unless you want to share. So, it seems like a down the road maybe sort of thing to bring up as you become closer and start to share.

[MemeSupreme]

okay don't give the full shebang so you don't totally scare them. like i kinda started just dumbin it down when i tell them mine

it's scary on paper having a list of mental disorders but really lots of them are comorbid. like with lots of anxiety and depressive disorders they're like intertwined

don't tell em right away bc you gotta let em see the good parts of you. after that then you warn them lmao

[SamIam96]

I neither answered yes or no. Recently, I met a woman online who I was attracted to. We traded contact info and conversed regularly. Long story, short... things were great until they weren't and she told me she has BPD. I had to google the symptoms and she fit them perfectly. After several "classic" interactions, we blocked each other and that was the end.

To answer the question, I don't think there's a rush to tell, but at some point you want his support and should.

dm if you want to talk more.

[RandomUser1000]

Probably not the best to start with that.

But at some point they will probably have to know if things would get serious.

But maybe you don't have to tell before the first date or on the first date.
Get to meet first and get to know each other at least a little bit first.

[RebelinSteel]

Yes tell them but timing is important and how much you tell them in one go. Unfortunately you are liable just to say everything in one go. Just blurting everything out in one go will make them run.

[WrinkleBrain]

I understand, timing is definitely important. Do you have any advice on when I should tell them? I used to tell them everything; however, that hasn't ended well for me.

[RebelinSteel]

After a couple dates, let them get to know you. It really will be different with different guys

[WrinkleBrain]

Oops, I meant to say that I tell them everything in the very beginning, and I see. Do you think I should be vague in the beginning? Like "I struggle with mental health issues, but I'm seeking treatment"? Or should I list out every disorder like I have been doing?

[RebelinSteel]

Don’t list everything, it makes people look for the exit. It’s a bit like me popping into a hardware store with my date at 10pm to buy a shovel, plastic sheeting and rope.

[BoopBoopBeep]

It's going to come out eventually. Might as well save time.

[DarkLegacy]

It would be easily detected anyways, and me personally would reject you for it.

[WrinkleBrain]

I don't think so. Maybe in the past, but I believe I have more control over it now. Also, why would you reject me for it? That discourages me from telling people.

[DarkLegacy]

Like i said it would be easily detected

[WrinkleBrain]

Okay, sure.

[exitseven]

No, they will find out on their own and then decide what to do.

[Jmmmfi4]

I ALSO HAVE BPD. I WOULDN'T RECOMMEND IT BEING AN OPENING CONVERSATION.

[chrissykerdock]

if you do that then you'll never get laid

[shortster]

I tell people about my autism.

[InspireGlow678]

How you see yourself is the most important thing

[Roudyrebel8]

Honesty is key

[jahaims]

Duh.