My boyfriend goes through my phone, but when I go through his phone, he catches an attitude. Why?

Question

Valdemort · Accepted Answer

Woman, I can tell you right now.
If he starts accusing you of something you're not doing, without real reasoning, he is 1000% definitely doing it himself.
So if he's out there blaming you for cheating on him, or asking you if you are, or going through your phone when you are fully faithful to your man, believe me: he is trying to find a reason to validate his own misbehaviours.
If he has an attitude, just because you're going through his phone without his consent and respects you in that regard if you'd say the same, I can understand, I wouldn't want someone to touch my stuff unsolicited either.
But it's a major sign when someone doesn't want you to go through their phone, but does want you to give them access to yours.

Account · Accepted Answer

Because you haven't set boundaries and apparently there is an imbalance in your relationship.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Then in this case, he has no right to look through yours.
Either you both do, or none. Generally latter better, unless for confirmation after reasonable suspicion which is discreetly done and to later confront.

Looking through phones is mainly done through communication and should be clearly stated and agreed to.
You may both agree to take it easy and fine for both or whatever.

And as I said, I check yours but you don't check mine is just not fair. As simple and clear as that.

BadApple69 · Accepted Answer

Oh us men have way too much to hide. Some of the things we hide might be real threats to our girls or imaginary threats... Us men like to fantasize about any girls who will respond to our texts or give us a second glance. We have pictures of girls, some they don't know we took, some of the pictures they knew we took. The point is we hide what we can't or don't want to explain. Most is not a threat to you.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

You have a WHOLE baby on the way? Too bad, because this guy is not long term relationship material.

AviatorTom · Answer

He likes to control you, and have power over you, which really means he is insecure. You could do better in a relationship.

HaveNoName · Answer

Def Leppard had a song "When love and hate collide". In your case, it seems like "When trust and gulit collide".

But in all fairness, nobody should check anyone's phone; even the spouse. Your phone is something very private.. And I am not talking about cheating and trust and tinder and onlyfans... Sometimes there's a lot of personal family politics, or family grievances kind of thing going on in your conversations on WhatsApp and other channels. You would never want anybody else to read that. So whether it's you or him, your phone should be out of reach for the other.

TenderFantasy · Answer

Dude that's a huge red flag that he doesn't trust you nor respect your things. I'd leave that man, especially if it's still early in the dating phase. That's just not a relationship that is going to work! He DOESN'T like you and DOESN'T RESPECT you and it's obvious!

Find someone who DOES respect your personal property! Trust me, I am speaking from experience!

RavenDarkheart · Answer

Seems like he is clearly hiding something. And it may be a case of where he wants to accuse you of something he is doing. If he can try to say your cheating on him by messaging other people, then he can use that to justify him messaging others behind your back. (Not saying that would be right, just trying to state a point.)

sheikalana · Answer

None of you should be checking each other’s phone. You’re entitled to your privacy even when you’re in a relationship. Me and my husband don’t check each other’s phone. My parents have been married for more than 30 years and never done such thing either.

molonski2 · Answer

No one should be going though anyone's phone " he gets attitude " bcoz he has his lover saved under " Timmy " .. Good luck with the pending birth.

Sun_Kim-Ai · Answer

Basically, the rules apply to you, but not him. This is a serious red flag, and I say it as someone who hates how easily the word is thrown out nowadays.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Obviously he is hiding something. Anyone that has nothing to hide would have no problem with a partner going through their phone. This privacy crap they come up with is just a cop-out.

Amara_09 · Answer

Lol, tell him you did what he did to you. Nothing different  That reminds me of something else  if you hit a man and they hit you back, why do women catch a attitude playing the victim?

admles · Answer

Wow, 99% of the time, it's the other way around - the woman going through his phone and going off if he does the same!

Anyway, this is a total red flag - first, no one should be going through anyone's phone, but he's clearly hiding something if it's okay for him to do, but not you.

You need to sit him down and talk about it now.

Anonymous · Answer

Sorry to read you already have a baby with him. My first thought with this guy is a massive red flag. When he wants to check your phone, but tries to prevent you from going through his by having an attitude, he most likely has something to hide from you.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

This is not a major problem. You just have to set some boundaries and explain to him. You don't want anything done to you that. He doesn't want done to him. So if he doesn't want you going through his phone that he most certainly cannot go through yours. Understand?

N271298 · Answer

Do different rules apply to you both in other aspects of your relationship as well? If yes, then it’s a power balance problem. Unless one of you is okay with compromising on what will make them happy. It never ends well.

sabaileytx · Answer

Control freak. I have been married 41 years and have never gone through my wife’s phone. If I were doing that, I’d have to have reason. And if I had reason, I would drop her and move on. Trust is most important in a relationship. When trust isn’t there, either is a real relationship

laly520 · Answer

he is hiding sth n its as clear as the sun, try to find out what it is before its too late

SotiCoto · Answer

A better question is why you do not also "catch an attitude".  Why are both of you messing around with each others' phones in the first place?

Anonymous · Answer

Probably because women tend to look for problems. Example: he liked a picture of that girls art work he must like her. Then proceeds to tell him how much he doesn't care about there relationship or respects her.

Guys just want to live peacefully especially when we are doing nothing wrong. If you do bring something up. Make sure it’s legit

Anonymous · Answer

Sounds like he’s got something to hide. It‘s as if he’s searching for a reason to end the relationship but wants to put the blame on you. I’m sorry if my opinion upsets you but that’s how it appears to me.

Fireguy17 · Answer

because that is way different. He is looking to see who you are calling just in case, he doesn't want you to see who he has called. See the difference? Me neither.

Paris13 · Answer

Do You Not Know, You are What THEY CALL US AS A "NOSEY STALKER?" Believe Me... UGGGGG.. xxo0

slatyb · Answer

Why do you allow that? Good luck with the baby.

Squatting_Slav · Answer

He has something to hide, not necessarily cheating but it could be anything. It's unfair to deviate at the expense of another

butterly248 · Answer

This isn't healthy. Please sit down and talk like adults. Consider therapy and Please put this child first.

chris1350 · Answer

cause he is worried about you finding something that why he goes through yours plus he has trust issues more than likley cause he is a cheater

jahaims · Answer

Why date each other when you don't trust each other

Anonymous · Answer

Double standards. Something clearly ain’t right.

Tomisworthless · Answer

He’s making sure you’re not talking to 10 men

spierjames · Answer

Break him with him ASAP he wants unfair vuales in himself. Breakup but aince you have a baby im not sure if your ready to be a single mum

Anonymous · Answer

"CATCHES" an attitude? Are they contagious? Who does he catch it from?

Anonymous · Answer

A fuckboy who's gonna learn a humiling lesson-getting slapped. It sucks.😒

HelpfulWoman · Answer

Leave. Red flag is a wavin'

jaskin777 · Answer

Because he is hiding something

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

It’s as if you can’t see the obvious issues

MzAsh · Answer

Stop allowing him into your phone.

Sparkie460 · Answer

He's got something to hide

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Ask him! That's the moment you communicate!

rienna888 · Answer

does he let you check it though?

Anonymous · Answer

You both are stupid. Grow up

RohitDr · Answer

Probably he is hiding something or cheating

EBoyXx · Answer

Probably had a crazy ex now he hides everything.

Anonymous · Answer

He knows how women are.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

He’s cheating

serious_miss419 · Answer

He’s possessive

tanya_s21 · Answer

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My boyfriend goes through my phone, but when I go through his phone, he catches an attitude. Why?

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My boyfriend goes through my phone, but when I go through his phone, he catches an attitude. Why?

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