If a man wants to take a single mom out on a date, should he also pay for her babysitter?

[coachTanthony]

Yes that would be nice

Not his responsibility so NO

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Why should he pay for the children who are not his? Just because he wants to go on a date with that woman?

[coachTanthony]

I agree lol

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

That would be super weird from a woman to expect it.

[Altheavas]

Those comments from some of y’a! That’s why if I ever separate from my marriage, I would be Done with men. I won’t give no mtfkr the opportunity to disrespect, and look down on me and my children.
It’s not that I would want to bring random men into their lives either. I’m not gonna ask for your charity. Bringing a man around my children would be a fucking honor to him. If a man, can’t step up as a man he should be, be the men she never had, and be the father these children needed, then he has no business being in her life.
You should like the tree and his branches too!

[Altheavas]

Mine, my mtfk world.

There are single fathers too let’s change shoes a bit. You think you’re all that cause I have children therefore I’m not F worthy of your simple self.
Danm im sitting on a mtfk ornate in my head and my prides for when it comes to my children. My children are gonna enjoy life, like we’re the only one that exist in that world.

I’ve seen some pretty sick stories with some step mom too, and their husband’s children. Sad and traumatizing!

They way I grew up, single parents either men and a woman, now I better be proud and wear that crown with the circle I have.

[Altheavas]

I won’t be having no headaches dealing with these unsecured men. That’s why most women these days opt out of relationships these days. Choose to be single. Majority calling themselves men are boys, there’s barely any man left.
Men step up when it’s necessary. The ones that step up for the village, their close relatives, and a person they chose to be with that that has children. Women feed and care for village.

[coachTanthony]

Being honored is delusional it's more like we might tolerate them. Let's keep it real lol

[Altheavas]

Naah!
Just because the parent separates and live in a divided household doesn’t mean the other parent isn’t around! Maybe your point are for parents where one parent is absent.
I have children, so I don’t have to worry about being childless or no one around for when I get old. Having a partner is no obligation, and fuckbuddies are available.

These are all rambling and hypothetical example, as I am not single, and my kids have a wonderful father. I also do have a great circle! Whatever I choose to do having a man in my life or not, isn’t a main priority to me.

[Djaay]

So what do u bring to the table in ur mtfk world not including the children?

[TonyMetal___86]

@Altheavas i don't know why you're angry and using a bad language, this makes you in MY WORLD just a cheap chick not even a woman...
Stick up to your marriage cause no men will ever look at you in this mentality if you become separated...
How about a man looking after your parents and siblings too, for what? Boobs and puss? Get a life 🤣🤣

[Altheavas]

@TonyMetal__86
Man y’all are right!
I just can’t stand the negative talk about single mom. My language and approach to this answer is not informed and educate to make any positive point.
Yes, I have a family of my own that I have to take care over. The way I just talk on here online that’s not how I would ever approach any situation about family in reality. Yes, I’m talking a lot of nonsense, it’s to be taken with a grain of salt.

It’s probably, it’s like that out there, where women can’t live without men in their life. Bringing everyone around their children. Accepting charity and disrespect from immature men, or stay within a marriage whether it’s healthy or not. There are many reasons that could a family to separate. With mine, that would be my business and my attorney support, not something to discuss on here as a comment. I was hypothetically rambling like I said, there is some truth in it but… ehh!!!

I wasn’t talking about a man I brought in my life to take care of my family. He would be look down upon by them, if he were to ever make certain gestures that would give them such hints.
That statement; was sorta general that the family dynamic where I come from we watch over the village. Men and women play their roles into keeping the norm going and not letting any close relatives go astray, it’s because we’re family oriented, and create some sort of cohesion. Where if your life turn out good, it saves the whole family views on others eyes. “So my aunt passed away, my mom’s brother passed before I was born. I watched my mom and the other siblings pay for their education, they did good. When I was in college the youngest cousin asked for my assistant. I assisted with 2 semester of college payments all on my own. She’s good now, I’m glad I participated in her welfare.

[TonyMetal___86]

Now you're being a lady, i like what i'm reading now...
Be sure that no husband and wife would ever think about divorce if they truly love each other and have faith in god and follow his teachings...

Where are you from?

[Altheavas]

Some woman are bringing any deadbeats into their lives. Partner with no morals, no educated. My self-worth I set it high, and surely don’t attract or hangout with people with the mentalities I see down in comments.
According to my views, my life doesn’t revolve about having a man or not. I have never put my life in a situation where I need a man in other to be. I work and invest in myself and I will support my children with their father around. Now that I have children, I will not stay in marriage where it’s not healthy for me or for them, what will I be teaching them... ! That I am a doormat, that I am a woman that can think for her own. Just for the sick of keeping a man in my life or keeping their father around. He will always be a father to them, just not my husband. I am also not the type to look for a replacement cause I need a man, amusing.
I am quite independent and resourceful, not on government welfare either like most assume about single mom. The single parents that use it, well they need it and it’s there for that. I get support from my entourage, like I stated in my first statement, thankfully I have a safe one.

I don’t want any headaches from immature men. I rather raise them alone, without a self centered beings that would take pity credits for their upbringings. I would be very careful bringing people around them.

If I was a single mom, and if I ever choose to become one. Replacement or having a man at all is not my priority, that would be an option to me.
If I were to look for a man, I would look for men that can step up as a man. He can never replace my children’s father, but he may act like it if we choose to be together. My children are always my number one priority, and he would needs to understand that.
Will not accepted any disrespects, self respect, patience, self investment, work hard and attain what you need in life, having fun while staying safe is the way I’d go.
Not everything in life is easy to attain, create your reality.

[TonyMetal___86]

You don't consider your husband as a priority and put your children 1st? 🤔
I respect that but i'm a person who wouldn't go with this rule...
You're acting as if a husband is just a husband and that a man ain't needed in your life and assuring that if one day you chose to become a single mother than you will receive your children instantly in your arms, who told you that you will have your children living with you in case you were divorced and not with their father?

Anyways, that's your opinion and i respect that!

[Altheavas]

Well, that somewhat summarizes what I wish to say! It’s not that my husband is not a priority, but if my husband doesn’t make me his priority, why would I make him my priority? Generally, for mothers, children usually come first; for fathers, wives come first. Happy wife, happy life!

But for single mothers (parents), how do you expect them to make a new man the priority over their children? When most of what I read here, none of them want their children around, nor want to help raise their children with them. These children are lucky they are not buried six feet under the house. None of them want to be responsible for another man's child. I know it’s not easy accepting any new person in anyone’s life, acting like a parent or husband to one’s parents. It will take time, patience, and an open heart. Anyway, love and respect usually win!

Personally, I know that I will take any child under my arm and raise them with love and care, adopt family members, even friends' children (I have done it to support two subjects there, friends and family members short term).

If I were to separate, I will not deprive my children of their father or deprive him of his children. I will not seek to make his life miserable, but he's got to reciprocate to an extent. Well, I’m not in a nasty relationship, or in an irresponsible situation-ship. Everything is level-headed. When it comes to custody, it probably will be ordered by the court 50/50 custodial.

It’s not that a man that I share a mutual relationship with is not important, and to be part of my life, each other’s life, but it’s just that I wouldn’t say I can’t live without, and therefore putting myself in a vulnerable situation by going out of my way to accept less because I’m a single mom. I’ve seen a lot of unfavorable situations about some women who happen to be single mothers' ways of life; truly, it’s quite trashy! I will not step down to that level; I will not accept less; I will not accept anyone to be part of my life.

[Altheavas]

These men and women on here are probably right within their own parameters of experiences. How do you generalize all mothers in one basket? Some single parents are widows, some single parents escaped from some form of abusive relationships. Some parents left because the relationship they shared grew out not to be in their best interest, but they are still a part of their children’s lives, and some are just deadbeats. Also, some probably have a great relationship even though separated.

If you love a woman, even if she has children, and you wish to spend time with her and grow old with her, what will be your strategy to ensure you get to spend time with her or be with her? If you really want to be with her, and because of her children you can’t get that time with her, be responsible, make dates for both of you together and include the children, or it would be okay to actually pay a babysitter for her. If her situation doesn’t matter to you as she’s a parent, and you want to be with her, her safety, happiness, and her children should be yours too; you will be loved and prioritized by that woman, I presume. As a man isn’t it important to have a woman by your side who is a good mother, shouldn’t that a characteristic you’re looking for in a woman if you also wish to have children?
Vice versa for women; some women are just the witch when it comes to stepchildren. I just wish the same comprehension from a woman who meets a man with children.

Personally experience, I’ve had the best stepdad; my mother was a great stepmom. My stepmother was sort of young and immature, but I would rather keep her out of the picture; I haven’t forgotten not she was capable of anything to me 😂😂😂 but still…

[coachTanthony]

@Altheavas I would advise you not to remove comments because you simply don't like them.

[Altheavas]

That was a mistakes sorry @CoachThanthony, I was trying to deanonymize myself.

[Altheavas]

@TonyMetal__86,
I can't speak for everyone, that’s just my perception. Why would society look down on a person who chose not to be a coward, and accept responsibility and raise another human being.
The world kind of sounds rosy to me, lucky me. I’ve heard too many messed-up decisions, or situations that would make someone a single parent.
So anyway, I’m just against it, and I expressed my stance and views if that were to be me. There are many variations of these situationship that might even difficult to comprehend.

[TonyMetal___86]

@Altheavas i do respecr your opinion and views and i actually agree with you on nearly 90% of what you have said...
You're a good lady, a good wife and a good mother...
Just one little thing, if i had a housewife who expects me to make her the 1st priority in my life over our children while she makes our children her 1st priority than she won't be my 1st priority anymore, personally my whole family would be my 1st priority...

[Altheavas]

@TonyMetal__86
I’m glad that had a chance to clarify myself. I wasn’t upset with my first statement, it’s just that I casually use slurs when I am not being thoughtful about something. I was being casually banal with the way I wrote this. But I only use that online, since nobodies know my identity on here, or with very few people I’m close with!

[TonyMetal___86]

No worries, have a good day 🙂

[HawkPerception]

No it's not his responsibility. It's not his kid. If she wants to go on the date, then she should pay for her babysitter or find someone to look after her kid. Either that or she could invite him to her place so she or he can invite her and her kid to his place. But in no circumstance is it his obligation to pay for her kid in any way.

If it ever gets to the point where they're officially together, then the guy should know what he's signing up for and should try to help out when he can, especially if he's moved in with her.

[HawkPerception]

she could invite him to her place so she can look after her kid or he could also invite her to his place and do the same*********

[Avicenna]

Hell no- that is her kid (s) and her responsibility. Many single moms have someone who will do it for free anyway. It also sends the message that he is willing to be a provider for this single mom and her kid (s).

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Of course it’s not his responsibility.. If he wants to make that gesture he could, but no woman should expect that..

[Billlewis]

@Brainsbeforebeauty She wouldn't have to wait for me to step up and take care of that for her, because I wouldn't feel right if I didn't.

[AviatorTom]

A gentleman would offer to help pay for the babysitter, maybe 50-50, but it should not be expected.

[RammyM]

I don't think it a man should HAVE to pay, but I also think being mindful of the fact that there is a child involved is really important. At the very least, he should know that she's gonna always put her baby on #1 so;

Do I feel the NEED to pay? No.

Would I consider doing it every now and then if it meant I could free her schedule up just enough that I get to go out on a date with her that we'd otherwise would've had rescheduled? Probably, yeah.

I'd say it's a nice gesture for the both of us at that point, and we'd just be two people working towards a shared goal of spending time together.

[electromagnetic]

No. He wants to take her out, not adopt a child.
if she agrees that means she’s willing to put the effort into making the date work. Otherwise, she can just stay at home. It’s like saying if she wants to have a girls night out, she should tell her girls to pay for her baby sitter.

[Jessikaah91]

He wouldn't be responsible for paying for a babysitter, and she wouldn't be obligated to go either but maybe she'd have someone who could look after the baby for a little bit. When I went out when my first born was a baby I'd always ask my mum if she could babysit.

[Unycorn]

Depends. If she is working hard and has not much income and He has a good Job, why not? But it shouldn't be always expected. It would be nice, and you don't take anything with you. But it should be in a healthy relation

[serious_miss419]

She needs to wait until they’re older until it’s safe for them to be alone.
Lots of things are put on hold for single moms, unfortunately lots of single moms don’t understand this.


However, she makes a good point that she can’t easily go out as a “single father” that isn’t raising his kids and she holds a good point how it’s not easy for a single full time parent to do simple things.


But to make a guy or give him basically the ultimatum, is immature.

[IslaTheWitch]

It's definitely not his responsibility.

But it's still his decision. If he likes her a lot and knows she can't afford it, he can offer to pay half or something. It depends entirely on him what he can and wants to do...

[EmmaMary]

@coachTanthony

It would certainly be a very gesture and show his qualities of being a true gentleman.

However it's not his responsibility, so the onus would lay with the mother to make all the necessary arrangements.

[TonyMetal___86]

Miss emma if couples were like you and your husband than there wouldn't be a single mother with kids to date haha
Unless if she was widowed and that's a whole other case...

[EmmaMary]

@TonyMetal___86

Bless You and Thank You. x

[TonyMetal___86]

You're welcome miss emma 🙂

[Apple1996]

If he wants to just to be nice but thats really her responsibility to make sure that the kids have a sitter

[BoopBoopBeep]

I'm sure it would be a nice gesture like buying her new tires when she gets a flat, but it shouldn't be expected. I don't date broke women so nobody would ever expect that.

[Kelley1]

He should if afterwards he expects to gets sex. Of coure he would anyway, because that is what single moms do if they like the guy enough to pay for a babysitter.

[Kelley1]

Actually, that is judgmental and harsh.

[Jessikaah91]

Lol wow, I was a single mum for 8 years, I had people help me out with different things because I was in a hard place as my ex literally stole all my money so I needed help and I never slept with any of them for helping me out. Instead I got with my now partner who I've been with for 3 years and I had 2 children to him too. 3 children all up... Very harsh.. that's disgusting to talk about single mothers like that. We never asked to be single because a dead beat man didn't want to help raise his kids.

[sage2021]

When I was in that situation I paid for the babysitter.

[molonski2]

Yeah , I certainly would not be agreeing to that , as that one is up to her " she has priors " Its her responsibility.

[DextroShade]

Single mothers should be grateful a man is even willing to date them at all, because I sure as hell wouldn't.

[Avicenna]

Hear, hear!

[KittyKat90210]

He doesn't have to (it's her child and her responsibility, after all)... that being said, it's still kind if he offers.

[aceleon]

not his responsibility, the kid is not his, also if she still wants to date after having a child it is her own problem

[Kingofkings1992]

Why the fuck would a single childless man date a single mother? Single mothers shouldn’t even be trying to date. Their focus should be on their child.

[RavenDarkheart]

I’m don’t think he should have to, but if he chooses to, would be a wonderful gesture.

[laly520]

it's the mom's duty towards her baby
she has to pay for one before going on date
her date has no connection to her baby