EMT/First Responders, Should I Give up on Her?

[Steelcore5280]

I need a perspective from those who are involved in first response/EMT/Medical, as you'll understand better than I do since I'm in archaeology.

I was talking to a woman who is currently on an ambulance crew and currently does a 6pm to 6am shift, and supposedly does work Monday to Saturday, according to what I've learned. She used to be pretty responsive, but out of the blue, I haven't heard from her for more than 60 hours. This behavior started last week.

I'm considering moving on from her and just removing myself from the dating pool, altogether for the considerable future. She and I were really into one another and were getting pretty serious. But considering the recent events, I feel like it's no longer worth the effort, and I feel ghosted.

What do you people in her field have to say? I understand the job is extremely demanding of your time and energy and emotional state, but this feels like I'm now no longer important in her life or she found someone else she liked more, even though she was very much into me and approached me first. Perspectives would be appreciated. Thanks for your time.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude I feel your pain, dating someone in emergency services is super tough. Those jobs take such a huge emotional and physical toll, plus the hours are crazy.

A few things to consider from someone who's been there - her shifts are long and intense, so when she's off she probably needs total downtime to recharge. And working those hours means her schedule is always changing, so it's hard to plan anything outside of work.

It's definitely not a reflection on you that she's gone AWOL - she's probably exhausted. But I get how the lack of communication can feel like disinterest. My advice would be to give her space when she's on shift, but also shoot her a casual text every few days just to check in and let her know you're thinking of her.

If she's usually good at getting back to you when she's off, I'd say wait it out a bit longer before throwing in the towel. She may just need a few days to sleep and regroup. Emergency services people tend to be all or nothing due to the high-stress nature of the work.

Don't lose hope yet. But also protect your own mental health - maybe cut back contacting her too so it's not so stressful waiting to hear back. Hope this helps give you a bit of perspective on what she's dealing with! Fingers crossed it works out.

[Nirmroth]

Hey I worked as EMT for a year and it can get very stressfull at times espacially when you have weird shifts.

But regardless of her beeing in EMT or not, have you seen each other yet or did you only text so far and if yes how long?

[Steelcore5280]

We haven't seen each other yet, because of the apparent Saturday work she does. Had to cancel two or three times because of that, but we've been texting for a while. I've tried calling her a few times but she doesn't pick up.

[Nirmroth]

Seems like the candle is simply burning out bec its getting to complicated and you haven't even seen each other yet.

I hope you didn't call her out of the blue, did you schedule a call date with her?

In my experience if you dont move on from texting to setting a date be it irl or a call within 1-3 days it usually runs out. Bet thats whats happening here rn.

What you could try to salvage from this situation is stopping to text or calling her (alone bec the ball is in her court and you're acting desperate) and wait 1-2 weeks and then text her again with something like "Hey, somehow this didn't work out but that would be a sad end. Are you free this Sunday at XX to go to XX with me and grab a few drinks?"

If she doesn't respond to you afterwards, move on.