Why am I still not over this guy who screwed me over :(?

[Lillywoods077]

I'm 19 and he is 19 as well. So basically I started talking to this guy in August and in November we finally met, in December he invited me to a basketball game because he had an extra ticket, and a couple of weeks after that he uninvited me to take another girl. What hurt me was how he worded it he said "I'm sorry" This hurt because he would always say "You can trust me" but turns out I can't and he knows what did was messed up that's why he said sorry. He then said "I gotta be honest I've been seeing someone else lately" and he followed it up by saying "I wanna take things serious with her" he knows all I truly wanted was to settle down with him and he just completely wasted my time. This completely shook me to my core, and I cried so much because I liked him. In January I started talking to another guy and he asked me out on a date to this same basketball game, and when the day came we went and we ended up making it on the jumbotron funny enough. But this guy never texted me after the date which is fine I don't mind. Back to guy number one, I ended up blocking him but I can't help but stalk him sometimes, I see him with this other girl and it hurts because he doesn't even look upset about what happened and how easily he moved on. I know I should move on but somehow I can't. He took her to the same places he took me and she looks like an exact copy of me which is very offputting. I blocked him cause he kept sending me reels and posts on Instagram like nothing happened in fact the day he broke the news to me moments later he sent me a reel as if he didn't completely shatter my heart. What do you guys think I should do? sigh.

[HollyK21]

Sorry to hear that, I’ve been in that position before except I actually ran into the guy with a new girlfriend rather that getting a formal ending lol men like that are cold blooded.


My advice is to forgive him, and before you reject the idea: doing so isn’t for him, but for you. Right now you’re feeling this way because you’re still hanging on to anger, pain, confusion and you’ve just got to let all that go. Picking through the entirety of your time with him and trying to figure out what went wrong and where won’t change the situation, or even really heal you, so I think it is pointless.


Personally I feel like there’s usually something you can learn from a failed relationship of any kind, and apply that wisdom the the next guy, as to try not making the same mistake. In this case, I think the takeaway is trying not to form attachments too soon (at least like the first month or so) and the same goes for investing in someone. I’d be asking what his intentions are for talking to me, and pay close intention to if actions match his words.


Of course there’s always the case that you can be blindsided and while you thought you were working towards something with only him, he was splitting his time amongst you and others. But to me, the fix for that circles back to what I said about not forming attachments/investing too quickly. That way even if this were to happen again, the most you’ll feel is a little disappointed because it seemed like a good connection, but not deeply hurt as if you’ve gone through a breakup.

[Lillywoods077]

Omg, I'm sorry you went through this as well, and thank you for commenting. I'm gonna take your advice. The thing is I already forgave him and that's why I'm not over him, and lowkey miss him. But it's been getting better every day because my friends remind me that he barely put any effort into our relationship so I shouldn't miss him. Thank you again <3

[HollyK21]

Wow didn’t realize I put intention instead of attention lol thank you, I’ve moved on from that ages ago and engaged now, just used it as a reference point to relay that I get where you’re coming from and what you’re going through. Right now you’re in a phase of grieving but this too shall pass! Glad to hear that it’s getting better and your friends are absolutely right! There’s so many better and more qualified men, you will find the right person❤️

[Curiositykilledcat7]

Biss we all been there first start by not blaming yourself for how you feel. It took me ten years to finally know how to walk away and even harder to deal with when they rejected me when I was doing the most. That’s is usually where the problem lies. I have a few videos I watched that help me gain prospective I also have helped probably 15 of my friends from watching these videos with them next to them even over the phone with them and discussing it with them. If you’d like cause I don’t want to post them up here. Send me a message and I’ll send you the two creators that really changed the game for me hopefully it will help xx

[ChicoFromThe305]

Nothing, you dodged a bullet, if he was seeing someone else at the same time as you seems at least like a yellow flag doesn't it, you move on, just move on with your life, are you not with the current guy Now?

[Lillywoods077]

No i am not.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Well either ways, find someone else, you chillin 💯

[boggboss]

Stop stalking him and actually move on u are upset that he is not effected but thats because he clearly didn't care about you no level of stalking him will chamge that or make u feel better

[Zestyassmf1997]

Do nothing.