Girls, age 26 and older: if you turn down a guy's request for a first date, what is the usual explanation?

[OlderAndWiser]

"Who does this nerd think he is?"

I think what guys assume when they get rejected is quite different from what women think when rejecting a guy, so let's get it out in the open. If a guy asks you for a first date and you turn down the request, what is the reason most often? (If your answer is not one of the seven options below, please leave a comment and explain.)

I think we wouldn't have enough similar interests to sustain a relationship

He is too young or too old

He isn't tall enough

He isn't handsome

He's actually ugly

He doesn't have a car/doesn't have a cool car

He doesn't have a job/doesn't have enough money

[Anonymous]

Because there is no interest in dating on my part.
Too socially awkward to just go on a date with someone if we're unfamiliar and to go on a date for the sake of it, would just be leading him on without genuine intentions.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

That I’m not looking to date anyone at this stage of my life… that’s the thing some guys don’t get… that it’s not always a personal thing against them…

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I have been asked out tons of times, since I got single at about 26,

I have rejected them for more mature reasons than I did in the past. Those reasons are:

1. Not compatible

2. No chemistry

3. No shared interests or life goals

4. Not mentally mature enough

5. Not able to keep a nice conversation

6. He was too young

7. He wanted marriage right away

8. He didn’t seem like a genuine and a serious person

9. He was arrogant

10. He was not interesting and smart

11. I met him in a place where I didn’t want to have anything common with those people

12. I didn’t feel attracted

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

13. He had too much money and thought he could impress anyone with that

14. He didn’t have a job and relied on his parents, even though he was 25.

15. He was too domineering and we wouldn’t be a match, as I think we should be equal.

And so on. These are the ones I can remember.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

16. He was too handsome and thought too high of himself.

[bobalife]

Numerous reasons:
1. I can just be really busy, and wanted to reschedule the first date. Some guys may take it the wrong though.
2. He was really interesting…. But then he lost my interest because other guys or he was no longer showing me what I’m looking for or what he may initially appeared
3. Our lifestyles is too different
4. Rather he’s cute or not, we may not be compatible
5. Fboy vibes and not really serious/intentional
6. “Too busy” to make time for a real relationship yet he wants to go on dates/hang outs
7. He’s not ready for a relationship yet wanna be casual and/or still meet
8. He doesn’t really smile or laugh….
9. His personality is a no bueno
10. He can’t carry a conversation nor try to get to know me and connect
11. He’s too self-center to only talk about himself, how great he is, and arrogant
12. He treats and think of others badly… beneath him.. and talk a lot of shet/swearing
13. No sense of individuality & goals
14. Narrow minded, judgmental, and only consider his way of thinking as the “right way”
15. Puts women down
16. Not physically attracted to him including his personality
17. Not sincere and honest
18. Big headed thinking he can talk big game and womanizer, but can’t walk his game nor show action
19. Low effort
20. Not the same life stages or trying to make progress in his life
21. He only cares about partying… drinking excessively, smoking, hard drugs for “fun” and “free time” as his main thing
22. Negative attitude and vibes
23. Not considerate nor thoughtful towards me/others
24. Disrespectful verbally and non verbally
25. Poor and inattentive listening skills
26. Demanding and passive aggressive when he’s mad
27. Pretentious
28. Unfinished business with Baby mama (s)
29. Doesn’t take initiative or lead…
30. Not gentleman and doesn’t have good mannerism
31. Doesn’t seem to care or respect my career, passion, goals, what matters to me, etc
32. Complains a lot…
33. Expect you to put in the effort and don’t give enough effort while trying to guilt trip you
34. “I’m not like other guys” pft lol
35. He took too long to ask me, and I’ve moved on or don’t feel like it’s worth giving it a chance anymore
36. Insensitive and can’t acknowledge his mistakes or hurting me/others
37. doesn't care about growth…
38. No aligned values nor morals
39. Doesn’t really make time to text nor communicate much
40. No effort in developing date plans such as where and activity even after asking me out. Yes, I’ll changed my mind.
41. Primary focus is just work… (and maybe gym & typical hiking/gaming - not that it’s bad but it’s just 1 or 2 things), but no other values to his life that he wants to do or open to do


Etc 🙊

[bobalife]

I think a big one I forgot to add is he doesn’t seem emotionally mature…

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

• He doesn't have manner. Though he's good looking, it doesn't mean he can approach me with any sexual suggestions right away. Mannerism is absolutely counted.
• If I KNOW that he's already got a woman. Whether she's a wife/girlfriend/friends with benefits or other females he is also interested in. I'm off. I'll turn him down as soon as possible.
• He's a smoker, or addicted to alcohol. I take care of my health and I expect that man would too. For himself and for me. Since my mom had cancer, I have a tendency to have it too.

I don't mind nerds. They are smart unlike men who walk around and brag about their body count.

[19magic]

Normally guys only want to chat to me to get in my pants, so a lot of time it's a shallow answer of not into his looks or not looking to hookup.

Other times its similar to the first one but with the added one thing of the guy being too handsy, and or justs walks past and grabs me to grind on him or something and that's a bit turn off when it's not something you're doing yourself.

The only other thing is too much too soon, it feels insincere and I automatically raise my guard around it. Using a lot of flowery language or go on about my apparent virtues when you know nothing about me weirds me out a fair bit.

But honestly the bar is low, there isn't a lot I'd reject a guy for and the few times I do get asked out since secondary school I've pretty much always have said yeah why not.

[TenderFantasy]

There's no, "More often" it really depends on where I'm at with my life (my current situation or circumstance). And it also depends secondly on the type of person he is; from the way he looks, but more importantly, the way he acts. Does he seem like a nice person (from the few conversations that we've had?) I feel like at this stage and age in my life, it's better to look for a friend first, rather than jumping into a relationship right away. I learned that when you jump into a relationship right away, it's mostly just about sex, and you don't even know if you two are really compatible aside from the sex/bedroom stuff, which quickly gets awkward and doesn't really last long, especially if the guy is just looking to score, or have me become another notch on his stupid bed post!

[PeachyPie93]

Well there has been many different reasons why I rejected people.
I have rejected guys who were ugly, that is the usual reason 70% of the time.
I have rejected handsome guys because I thought they were too hot for me, they could do better.
I have rejected guys for being too young, like 18 - 22 year olds.
I rejected guys I super liked because I was scared to fall in love.
I never cared about money and cars as long as I could see he isn't a bad or useless person.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

1. Usually, it's because I'm already taken.

2. I'm simply not interested in dating at the moment.

3. He's coming on too strong.

4. He's taken or, worse, married.

5. His life is in chaos (i. e. due to drug addiction, alcoholism, crime, etc.) which are red flags to me.

[selfish-and-cruel]

Before Christmas, I rejected a guy, who was really into me but I didn't reciprocate those feelings. I didn't want to lead him on

[Nikki1989]

I have no interest in other men. If my husband wasn't so damn good, I wouldn't want to be with a man at all.

[IslaTheWitch]

I don't know him well enough, or I don't feel that way...

[Anonymous]

In my situation I usually always get asked out by very young guys.. and it’s not that they’re into older women, it’s just that I usually look their age and they assume I’m somewhere near the same age.

[Apple1996]

I turn down their requests because I'm married 😂

[Anonymous]

how about if he's just weird, and awkward. i think when you approach someone, and under what circumstances makes a huge difrence. you got these pua who run up on random women on the street and get turned down because it's inappropriate circumstances, and not necesarily because he's ugly, or poor

[Agape93]

I don't usually give one.

[OlderAndWiser]

Okay, but that is reason, even though you don't tell him?

[Agape93]

Usually I don't like his vibe

[Elena_Stewart]

His personality