I never get approached by guys because I’m fairly attractive and have a naturally intimidating look (not bragging that’s just what it is) but my anxiety about being denied or that he has a girlfriend keeps me from doing so. I don’t know how common it is for guys to deny a girl? How do I know to not approach a guy because he’s not interested?
I would say zero unless she's on attractive, a little overweight or a lot a little too thin or a lot kind of ugly or a lot. I mean that's the only reason why I do to turn her turn it down. But other than that guys ain't turning nothing down but their color your shirt color. It ain't turn it down. No women that come up to them. Be like s*** that's just like free thing. I mean well you know I ain't going to lie. I do because when sometimes I go out go in the store and I'll come out from women and I don't act on it man. I just you know I'm flattered but to me if I was to act on that it'll be like taking advantage of someone you know and I just can't do that and it's too easy. I don't like anything that comes easy. I like to earn what I have and who I'm with. It's just respect but the average guy. They probably snatch that number up off that windshield and call them before he even getting the car. It works for some people and it's like if I'm out and I see a nice looking woman make eye contact and you know we start talking. I'll find out that woman is married. I got a boyfriend. I'll send her ass home safe for some regrets later. Can't answer. No nobody else's woman man. That's not right. Send them home. Go work that s*** out with your husband or your boyfriend. That's what you need to be not out of here or you going to find his regrets in the heartbreak might get robbed too. I'm going home and get a ride. I'll take you. That's what I handle things man. That's the way it should be. That's how a real man handle things. Don't take advantage of a woman or married woman just to satisfy his selfish needs. Center woman better work this s*** out or somebody's going to be working it out for you in a way you don't like. Don't let your woman come out here like this man. I remember once I took this this woman home she's married and the husband came to the door. No I explained to him man. You know that I'm at your wife at the bar. I was going to hit on her until I realized she was married and it's just not the thing that a man does. So I brought her home so that you and her can work this out and he just looked at me for about 5 minutes and I'm looking at him straighten his eyes and all I'm thinking is keep my eyes on his eyes cuz if I see a twitch he's going for a gun or something with any reach his hand out and say thank you. Just thank you. I said it's all right man I understand. I wouldn't want to tell me nobody taking advantage of my wife out there or my daughter you know is anyone I know and I can see the terrorist swelling up in his eyes so I just left Said sorry man. I hope you guys work it out. Any everything comes out okay and that was that you know. I wasn't looking for an old for nothing. Just it's just how a man supposed to do. You don't take advantage of people in there weakest hour. You know when they're weak low life. Do anyway just saying I'm trying to. I'm really trying to keep it short but I get to talking and it's just just goes on. I'm sorry for writing these novels for you guys. Okay and appreciate you putting up with it and I'll try to shorten it
I would put the likelihood of soft/indirect or hard/direct rejection around 80%. That's partly because that's close to the rate I've rejected women who approach me first. I definitely appreciate it, and I would say I've even gone so far as to give women a chance that I wouldn't normally, simply because they had the courage to approach me.
But the reason for the high rejection rate has a couple reasons. One, I'm just not that attracted to the majority of women; that doesn't change significantly just because they're brave. If I don't think they are physically attractive, for example, I might be friendly with them, but I'm not going to consider being in a romantic (physical) relationship with them. The other reason is that if she's approaching me, it's likely that she didn't pick up on my subtle clues that I wasn't interested in her. Men and women both typically are able to send a vibe that makes the actual approach a formality. We mostly know already if there is a connection or not. If it's a "cold approach" (not having any previous contact), then there is no background to go on, and it's simply a matter of a decision made on maybe 30 seconds or less of interaction. Which most people (men and women) tend towards rejecting.
I’ve been denied by this guy who I’ll call Benedict. (Not his real name, who coincidentally, uses this site, too, as well as knowing me offline). Benedict and I were friends. We met up in a group and he started serenading me at dinner and touching me at the movies, on and off. I expressed interest and he rejected me four times, for dating, kissing, when I tried to seduce him and for becoming my boyfriend. He was handsome. Looked like Barry Gibb from The Bee Gees. I looked like Bridget Jones, from Bridget Jones’s Diary and back then, was quite fat. He said recently that he was just shy, but I think he just wasn’t that interested until I lost thirteen kilos. I don’t think men like fat women. So, sometimes you’re good looking but you’re not someone’s type, too fat, too thin, it could be anything. They’re not going to tell you why. I think the key thing I learnt was not to approach the really handsome men anymore. They’re often more shallow, conceited and out for themselves. Go for a guy who is cute. Lower your visual standards and raise your character standards in men. Approach them first, too. I tend to intimidate most men too.
As a disclaimer, I'm average looking at best- probably a 5, 6 on a good day.
Can confirm I have not only approached and asked out guys... but have been rejected EVERY TIME 😑.
No, I'm not exaggerating; I have stories to go along with each rejection.
But! I did approach them, it's better than wondering "what if," But does rejection suck? Absolutely.
"How do I know to not approach a guy because he’s not interested?" Simple: approach him and start conversation, or he'll approach you. Discuss something of interest, get a conversation going. Watch his body language. If he maintains eye contact and seems to be glued to you, ask him out!
But if he's "there" or seems disinterested or distracted? Move on
And even then, he can be flirty, seem like he's into you and STILL reject you! 🤦♀️
Yeah, dating sucks: I don't recommend it.
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Your comment about “but my anxiety about being denied or that he has a girlfriend keeps me from doing so” is quite fitting.
Imagine if you had no choice to approach people because you rarely get approached and the few times you do it’s usually by someone are not attracted to (at all). Imagine that’s you had no other option but to make a move. If you don’t you will be lifelong single
Anyway they have done studies on dating apps that when a woman messages a man first the date is 3x more likely to happen. Now I know that’s not the same as approaching someone in real life. But there is some carry over.
But anyway about your “anxiety” about this. Don’t think for one second that men don’t feel the same way when approaching women. Most of us do but we force ourselves to approach anyway because if we don’t chances are nothing will happen.
So ladies never ever be rude to a man who politely approaches you. No matter who he is or what he looks like in your judgement don’t disrespect him. Just say “hey so and so. I appreciate you saying hello to me. But tbh I’m just not interested”. I know some men won’t take no for an answer but they are a minority.
I know you don’t want to give him the wrong idea if you aren’t interested. But also respect the courage it took him. Always be kind yet straight forward with your rejection. Most men will appreciate that. And you are welcome to get as bitchy as you want only if he persists after you said no.
Probably just slightly less than for a man approaching women.
Women are used to being approached in the dating game, and if they do that it’s because they find you attractive. You’re used to talking mainly with guys who were already attracted.
When you’re the one approaching it’s 50/50.
A lot of women start approaching guys, get rejected, and assume that it’s because men don’t like being approached by women, and instead prefer to do the approaching. In reality it’s just because the guys they approached weren’t attracted like the guys who approach them usually.
How to know if he’s interested or not? Often it’s hard to tell. Same goes for men approaching women. Confident people can show signs of interest, for example they might look at you and smile. A lot of people are afraid to do that because they feel that even locking eyes with someone and having them look away is a rejection they want to avoid.
If guys find you so attractive that it’s intimidating to them, they’re likely to avoid making eye contact with you at first even if they like you, for the above reason. That plus a lot of women today complain about men who state - they don’t wanna make you feel uncomfortable or for you to think they’re creeps.
Basically the only way to actually know is to risk rejection and make your move.
I wouldn't worry about being rejected, just roll the dice in a way that's easy going: "I'm not sure if you're single, but I'd be interested in grabbing a cup of coffee sometime. Here's my number."
Single guys will be thrilled. Guys in relationships will either try to cheat with you or feel like "they still got it" and have a nice ego boost. A tiny minority of weirdos will have their egos bruised because they feel emasculated by being asked out. It's a big win that they don't like you anymore.
In any result, if they're not available or not interested, then they'll be gentlemen about it in nearly all circumstances: "I'm flattered, but I'm in a relationship, or something like that."
Wow, this is a very eerie coincidence. I can't help but notice that when you said I’m fairly attractive... (not bragging that’s just what it is)", it sounds eerily close to what she just said in this video at this time frame. Also, the video itself is about women approaching men. I just watched this yesterday. Is that a phrase that women say now about their looks or are you Melanie King in disguise?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2uqA4CZ5p0&t=123sWell, if the guy isn't single, you'd have nothing to be ashamed of.
We don't like to reject women because we know it usually takes some courage for them to approach. And every woman who has approached me first was really nice, so someone you would like to know better.
If you are friendly when you approach, the guy will often be surprised and caught off guard, but if you do it correctly, you'll make his day. That you're attractive won't hurt, although some guys may initially think it's a prank, whereas we wouldn't if it's a less attractive woman.
I can't speak for every other guy, but I can speak for myself. I always take more interest in a girl that approaches me rather than me approaching them because it already shows she's interested. I would be more attentive and give her more of a chance than if I was the one pursuing in the sense that if I was the one pursuing, I'd give up the moment I feel she's not interested. Whereas if a girl approaches me, even if I feel I'm not interested at first, I'll give her more effort and stick around.
This is all assuming I find the girl attractive. Don't get me wrong. If a girl approached me and I did not find her attractive, I'd still be polite to her, but I would try to weasel my way out of the conversation sooner rather than later.
That is determined by the relative looks and/or league. If you are a 7 and the guy is an 8 or less, likely you will not get rejected unless he is married and even then you may not. However, if you are a 7 and he is a 9 or higher, he gets better offers all the time so most likely you will be rejected.
I denied two girls who approached me first. The first one was because I knew almost 90% sure it was a joke or game from her (&her friends) due to the way how her friends behaved near us
Turned out later she was for real.
Second person was a month or two ago at work. In the previous weeks she kept trying to ask me to hangout after work o have a drink with her. A friend of her also kept trying to get her on a date with me. Which I had no interest in. Simply because she was unattractive, smoker, drugs user and totally not compatible with me. Even though I'm not interested in a relationship in general tho.
If I were you I would first work on by viewed as intimidating because that could be a reason guys reject you if you approach them. I don´t know how often girls are denied since they rarely approach a guy.
But as bad as it may sound I don´t think there is a sign that guarantees you a guy won´t reject you.
It does happen. But. Yeah if you like someone I say shoot your shot. Even if guys do approach you. Only letting men approach limits your options and some men may be minding their own going abojt their day and not even notice you. Unless you say hi.
There’s men in relationships and not every man will like you. But. If you get rejected. There’s plenty of others
I've been sadly rejected a few times in my life. To me, I'm a solid 8/10 if not more, especially when I was younger. Maybe on "bad days" I'm only a 7/10 lol. I don't wear make-up and I have good looking (soft looking) eyes. I also have cute ears and a great smile. I look young/youthful too.
If you're courteous, then the only reason he would deny you would be if he's been terribly hurt by at least one woman in his life, or if he's simply not interested in a romantic relationship at all. Those aren't anything about your quality, they're about romance in general.
Guys are simple creatures, we're not that difficult, you will know if we're interested, as far as a girlfriend, that is a hit or miss, I had that issue a few times when I was married, because I didn't wear a ring on my finger. Before people judge, I am a master electrician, and wore it around my neck.
I rejected a girl by accident once. I had earbuds in, and I wasn't paying attention. I realized that I accidentally rejected her shortly after, but I realized who it was a year later. If i had known what was happening, I would have not rejected this girl.
Back when I used to approach women, I couldn't even always see what they looked like. I would approach any woman I found attractive and sometimes I could only see their long hair from behind while they were sitting at a Bus Stop. I'm not sure intimidation really comes into play because you don't know her. I also approached girls while they were with about 7 friends. I have rejected women who approached me though.
It never happened. But I also never approach the guy and ask him out. I mainly just start the conversation. Most people I approach know me, at least from seeing me here and there, so we are not complete strangers. And we share common friends
I would probably ignore a girl 96-98% of the time if she tried to approach me in public. Just because I don't know her and I don't trust strangers.
If she tried to approach me online, she'd have a much better chance. (But still, she can't be weird and sound like a bot. Because I will ghost her immediately if I get scammy vibes.)
if you’re attractive, then you’re less likely to get denied by a guy compared to a guy getting denied by a woman and as for not knowing whether they have a girlfriend, that’s the same problem we have, when approaching a woman so all you could do is ask
"fairly attractive" most likely a MID (average face, no curves, no teets, no azz, etc..) is what I'm assuming you meant?
I'll be BRUTALLY HONEST, send me a pic and I'll tell you if you'll be able to walk up to a guy and ask for his number.
Guys have the same concerns about asking out a girl.
I am naturally shy and I didn't get a girlfriend until I was in my late 20s. Part of it was that I assumed most girls I liked would already have a boyfriend because I wasn't the only person who found them attractive, and someone with more initiative asked them out already.
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