Am I valid for this?

Question

i don’t think i should get my boyfriend anything for Father’s Day.. i hate being like this (almost “petty”) but i can’t bring myself to gift him something.
my birthday was a couple days before Mother’s Day and he did not gift me 1 thing, not that it’s about gifts, but he didn’t even let me sleep in (which is 100% free), also it was my first Mother’s Day & he did absolutely nothing. So in the same weekend, i received no appreciation. I even had matching outfits with my baby that he was well aware of, and still he decided not to do anything for me. (No we didn’t get to wear the outfits and they’ve been hanging in the closet.) No card, no breakfast in bed, (which is also free, money seemed to be an issue for him) legit nothing. Ever since then, i don’t have any desire to be lovey dovey or sexually active with him, since i feel like my first Mother’s Day was robbed, im almost disgusted by the thought.
He’s made rude and disrespectful comments about the situation, throwing it in my face that im a SAHM and didn’t gift him anything for his birthday.
So now we’re here, Father’s Day weekend.. i bought a card a couple weeks ago (because he had made a comment that “i could’ve asked someone for $ to at least buy him a bday card”) and im thinking of writing “i asked someone for $3”.
I hate being this way, but i can’t help but to feel hurt/angry every time i think of my birthday and Mother’s Day. I DO want to give him a gift, because im a huge gift giver.. but i don’t have income AND i just feel like he would get into the routine of not showing me appreciation but expecting it from me.
Is just the card okay? I probably won’t write anything in it, i just get so worked up thinking about it that i want to write the petty message.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

1. If you're going to write something snarky in the card, just don't give him the card.

2. If he didn't offer you something for Mother's Day (and you were already an item) then don't reward his poor behavior by offering him something for Father's Day.

3. (This one is more out of concern for you...) He sounds like a jerk... Are you sure you want to be with him?

Fanfare690 · Accepted Answer

I'm not saying or getting anything for my sons father either. He neglects me on my birthday and mother's day.. screw him

MisterWack · Accepted Answer

Tell him how you feel while giving him his gift, maybe he just doesn’t understand and is that clueless. I’m honestly sad that your first mother’s day went by also first birthday as a mom too and nothing special to show for it…. I’m sure everything will be okay, just hang in there and tell him how you feel. Best wishes to you & yours & your baby.

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

People learn by example. If you want him to do something different in the future, show him the right thing to do. Not doing something to get even with him gets you, your relationship and your baby, nothing. Treat him on Fathers Day as you wanted to be treated on Mothers Day.