Are men more forgiving to virgin women?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Yesterday I asked a question about a situation where (at 22) I was dating two men at the same time and both of them knew about each other’s existence, I told them from the beginning that I wasn’t ready for a relationship and they had to impress me really hard to get me into a relationship.

Both of them knew I was dating the other one at the same time and both of them were trying to impress me more to get me exclusive with them instead of the other.

I feel like none of them were stupid and both of them were traditional, so I think they were not paying attention to my careless behavior because they knew I was a virgin and even though I was dating around, I wasn’t sleeping with anyone?

Otherwise, why’d they want to be in a relationship with a girl who is also dating someone else?

Might it be because they were both very popular among women and they saw me as someone challenging, because I was the only one who wasn’t necessarily interested in any of them?

(I have been thinking of my relationship patterns and I need to look in my past and recall it - hence why, I ask - this question)

[AmeerX]

I admit virgin is what is desirable but being one myself I noticed this pattern in Virgin women past age 30 that they start thinking they are good and better than all the women in the world. I don't know why but it's right there. I was talking to at least 8 girls who said they were virgin and when I ask them why they never settled and they just give answers from usual no one they found special to having extreme views. Talking about Muslim and Christian Woman. They keep having very high expectations.

With one girl I just said, no issue with me and I practically said I will do all the things she wants but she has to make a list and when I reluctantly said agreed she made it ohh, sorry you listen to Music and Music is Haraam in Islam and she broke it off. What I have found is 90% people are non serious and take life as a joke and 10% are really interested in something glorious and memorable.

Anyhow back to your question, yes I am forgiving but not always because in my country since virginity is taken seriously, we don't really take it seriously as everyone from outlook is considered Virgin. And so, if a girl does double dating, we just do not like it. I personally was victim of this as it's always someone is the third wheel. And if someone tells me she is keeping it open, I clearly tell them, okay good, get with him if you feel he is not good, then come to me. I don't want to be in a parallel relationship and rather be with someone in a serial relationship.

Afterall, if I love a woman, I let her go to whoever she likes instead of trying to stop. Heck, not even woman but any person, if someone wants to go, good there is the door and if not then please stick like you mean it. Fighting for a woman's attention is the worst thing. Rather go stand in front of a Tank barrel would be more honorable

[dynamicyandere]

You positioned yourself as the prize.


Also, by being a virgin at the time, it means nobody has ever “won” this prize before.


By “winning” you, it would give them a sense of accomplishment and feed their ego by knowing that they were the first to meet your high standards.


Men will tolerate more of what they shouldn’t, if their attraction to a girl is strong enough.


They might bend the rules.


Just like a woman might bend the rules for a guy and be willing to compromise, if her attraction to a man is strong enough.

[dynamicyandere]

In a relationship context, for me, a significant other is a soul to connect with — a soul to bond with.

But, there are men who see women as challenges to conquer. The problem with this mentality is that after they have “conquered” one woman. They will feel restless and want to conquer a more difficult “challenge”. They date as a means to feed their ego, “conquering” challenge after challenge.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

It has been very common in my life that men think I am hard to get so they try really hard. It’s bad…

I don’t want to be a quest someone needs to conquer to feel good about himself.

Which is what happened in my past relationship.

I want to be liked for who I am and not because I am hard to get. I am not hard to get on purpose, I just can’t be any other way.

[YouSloppyLady]

oh my god, you are just a fucking mess aren't you.

[dynamicyandere]

Yeah, you’re in a unique situation because it’s going to be unavoidable to attract these types because you have high standards, and rightfully so.

You’ll just need to find a way to sort out who is genuinely attracted to YOU and not just the challenge of winning you.

Somebody who understands the “thrill of the chase” but is not controlled by it.

There are men who are addicted to “the thrill of the chase”.

And then there are men with enough self-awareness to know what’s happening when they feel those emotions.

It takes high emotional intelligence and knowing oneself to identify their own tendencies that do not serve them.

[YouSloppyLady]

oh my god. she literally calls herself a femme fatale, you know that means she's trying to fuck with you right dumbass? like she's laughing and literally hates you. No joke look into it, ridiculous clowns I swear to god, you're all garbage people. Good fucking luck retards

[Nikki1989]

It is usually the total opposite. They use them up and control them for all it is worth.

[BoopBoopBeep]

That's pretty much how most relationships play out though... it just may not be vocalized. You and I start dating... not a couple... we're just going on dates. I assume until we vocalize otherwise that you're seeing other people, as am I. Then one day one of us decides "wait a minute, I'm not actually interested in anyone else." Let's say it's me. So then even though we don't have "that talk" yet, the other women bore me, so I just stop dating them. I have no reason to believe you stopped seeing others, but I'm not ready to have that talk. Once we DO have that talk, maybe then we become a couple and nobody is seeing anyone else, but during the evolution of a relationship, yeah, most of them play out the same way.

[imtiaz45]

The perception of forgiveness or acceptance regarding a person's virginity can vary widely among individuals and across different cultures. Cultural and societal attitudes play a significant role in shaping these perspectives. In some cultures, there may be traditional expectations or preferences regarding a person's virginity, while in others, attitudes may be more progressive and accepting. However, it is essential to recognize that opinions on this matter can differ greatly among individuals, and generalizations may not accurately represent diverse views. Ultimately, personal values, beliefs, and cultural backgrounds influence how people approach and perceive issues related to virginity.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/9kRoJKgpkpg

[molonski2]

" Might it be because they were both very popular among women and they saw me as someone challenging, because I was the only one who wasn’t necessarily interested in any of them?"

I think what you say here pretty much nails it , you were virginal territory , so its not like you were unfaithful , so the challenge for sure , plus you were not sleeping with the other guy anyhow , so kind of enhances the challenge for both.

[Berethor]

Yea, I can tolerate a virgin girl being rude to me and many other things, while if she non-virgin then I tend to lose interest in her. About virgin dating two men at the same time i am not sure, it sounds like a ho thing to do, but a virgin can't be a true ho.

[love_conquers_lust]

I bet both of those guys would lose interest after sleeping with you if they were okay with other guys dating you simultaneously I haven’t met a guy who didn’t covet a virgin. But the ones who have no problem with their partners sleeping around likely slept around themselves. People have that right to date as many people as they like in any sequence engaging in whatever activity that’s customary. However, it’s my right to not partake.

[Anonymous]

"Might it be because they were both very popular among women and they saw me as someone challenging, because I was the only one who wasn’t necessarily interested in any of them?"

Probably not. It's more likely they saw you as a higher value woman than most others.

[incorrected]

I have no idea, but with the games you seem to play, I'd avoid you. You're not the kind of material a traditional man needs. You are a modern woman, not a traditional woman. Leave traditional men to find good women and spill your toxic game playing BS over some chad instead.

[msc545]

Anyone who was dating you while you were dating someone else and they knew about it was pathologically self-destructive.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

You’re holding off. Say more, say what you wanted to say instead of “wow” :)

I know I wasn’t ready for a relationship and I told them both, right in the beginning, they still wanted to somehow change me.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Not change me, but “tie me down” I guess.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Had I not felt deep feeling of pity for my ex, I would probably not get into a relationship with him either…

[msc545]

Well, it sounds like you probably ran into two men who are both pretty narcissistic enough to believe they could change you. I think anybody with even a modicum of intelligence to figure out once they met you that that was not going to happen. You are too intelligent and strong for that.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

You’re right about them. They were both very narcissistic and had a reputation of being narcissistic too.

However, my ex, was cunning too… He was so cunning… I was sometimes scared of him, because of what he was able to plot. I believe he really loved me, in his own way… But I now think he really manipulated me to get into a relationship with him. And then he created the perfect image of a dream man and was that for me, but he was never like that, deep down he was often feeling empty and depressed, he often told me he was designed to destruct.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Thank you for thinking so about me. I think I still fell into the trap of a narcissistic person and it probably helped me grow a bit.

At least, this year, I have not kept dating anyone just because I felt pity for them.

[msc545]

Narcissists can be initially very attractive...

[Pohjolan]

In this context kind off. Thing is that a virgin hasn't been fucking other men even if she has been dating them.

[RavVid]

I think you have it. If both were having sex with you they think you were a whore. If one then you would been seen as in a relation ship. As neither were getting any none of those dynamics applied.

[RebelinSteel]

No, I treat everyone the same, also she can say she’s a virgin but that may not be true. So treat everyone the same. I don’t care if she’s a virgin or not, it does not mean anything.

[spartan55]

I would suggest you don't create your own market by putting two dudes in competition with each other for you. I would have laughed and told you to kick rocks.

[NathanDavis]

forgive what though?

wrong is wrong... doesn't matter if someone has had sex or not, lol

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Accepting I mean, they were accepting the fact that I wasn’t dating them exclusively and they still kept wanting to pursue a relationship with me.

[NathanDavis]

oh okay... that wouldn't make a difference to me

and sometimes guys do date women when they don't even know if they've had sex before or not... not sure is a thing most guys ask on first dates to women but who knows? lol

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

No, the American one knew it because we had a close mutual friend who warned him that he could have nothing casual with me, because I was a virgin and would never randomly sleep with him. So, they told him to stay away from me if he just wanted sex, because he was not dating anyone usually, he just slept around before he met me, to which he answered that he genuinely liked me and wouldn’t touch me out of a relationship and that he really wanted to have something long-term with me.

And the Chinese one, guessed that I was virgin, and he just asked him 2 months into dating and I avoided the answer, cause I felt shy and he told me he knew I was a virgin, because non-virgin girls are much less reserved.

[NathanDavis]

some of my ex-girlfriends were virgins, others were not...

made no substantial difference to me when it came to dating them

[aceleon]

virgins are a rarity so they probably didn't want to miss the opportunity otherwise they have to be a cuck to date a girl who had another guy.

[Sameone]

Maybe they was with you only for hook up because you was virgin 🤔
Because it's so weird to date sameone and you know is whit another person
For me i can't do it dating two people same time 👋

[blueonblack22]

Something tells me you went with the guy who didn’t try as hard.

[Anonymous]

What you are doing by dating two men at the same tine is worse than not being a virgin. My opinion

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I was 22 at that time, they were grown men, at the age of 23 and 28 and they knew I wasn’t exclusively dating them.

[Lester102]

It depends.. speaking from experience it may not be a simple as it seems it kinda depends on realistic expectations is there value in the relationship if yes give space as long as necessary re-access then see.

[Ironco]

Stop playing games and grow up.

Both men should walk away

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

That was years ago.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Forgiving how? You gotta be clear in what you're asking.