Is it logic or insecurity? ?

[Anonymous]

Would avoiding dating someone who doesn't have me as a type be insecure on my part? If someone has a type, they will most likely focus more on dating those who fit their preference. Even though they say that having a preference is not the same as rejecting everyone who doesn't fit the ideal preference, it's still a great sign that the person probably has no problem having sex with people outside of their preferences, but for a A serious relationship will always give more chances or exclusivity to those who fit the preference.

No, I'm not saying they should have me as a preference. No, I'm not saying that having a preference is wrong.

In your opinion, does thinking this way demonstrate logic or insecurity?

[RespectfulGuy]

After reading your Question and Details, the immediate thought that came to me is "before entering the battle field, her over-thinking already made her lose half of it".

Reasoning:

1) it's a new relationship. Neither one knows if its going to succeed.

Even cases where both feel it's "love at first sight" may still fail.

Hence why overthink? Type or not will be know after a few months when you know each other better.

2) logical? Of course if you reason and think it's "logical". Yet again, whenever you over-think anything, even illogical can become logical due to emotions.

3) you are not him and you can never know what he thinks until two of you start to talk openly and honestly.

And this is the key to a successful relationship.

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To conclude, don't over-think. Just engage in conversation and build trust. Then perhaps, with efforts in both sides, the relationship may succeed.

[Anonymous]

This person needs to get out of their own head and understand that not everyone dates or makes decisions they way that they do. For example, I don’t specifically seek out my “type” but pay most attention to having my standards/boundaries respected and the important boxes on my list are checked off. If I waited for my “type” I’d be waiting forever. I’m not the only one who thinks like this. On top of that, if you’re not someone’s type with why would they be talking to you? Out of boredom? Convenience? Logic like that destroys self esteem because already you’re convincing yourself that you’re not good enough, even if he’s going against your logic of “dating his type” by saying you, that voice in your head will always set you back.

[Tharithi]

It’s not a insecurity, it’s logical. I too feel that way about this guy. Attraction either happens from first sight or it doesn’t