Is it okay to ask out my friend's ex girlfriend?

Question

Him and her are still friends and get along.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Me and my friends ask for each others permission. If you do that it makes it ok, I’ve given guys permission on my ex’s and had someone give me the ok on their ex. And if it’s a no, you don’t do it or ask again. Forget it……

My fiancé, I’m currently engaged to.
My friend was in a relationship with her for about a year before. They were friends with benefits before that.
They stopped seeing eachother. We crossed paths over a year later.
and i asked him for permission if it was ok, If we date He said ok I got his blessing. So i pursued it

She is currently pregnant and our wedding is in the fall. My friend who is her ex is my best man.

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

There is nothing stopping you, but societal norms would frown upon it, and that would likely put a strain on the friendship you have with him.

Better to cast your line into the sea and see what other fish are out there.

Biancam13 · Accepted Answer

Probably not, but you should ask him. But be prepared for him to (1) say no and/or (2) lose his trust in you.

It also really depends on how serious their relationship was, does he still harbour anything towards this ex girlfriend and how recently they dated.

I know that I wouldn't want a friend of mine dating my ex boyfriend. It would be too weird even though I am over him. Neither would I date a friend's ex. I see my friends' exes as non-sexual entities or like brother-figures.

PBandJ_Nerd · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't ever date a best friend's ex. But I guess it might depend on why they broke up to begin with. If it's a bad reason/red flags, then I'd question why in the world you'd think it's a good idea to do that. You could ask your friend about that before going that route. Otherwise, you're not just ruining a good friendship, but also landing yourself in a toxic relationship (with his ex). So again, ask your friend first.

Finchie40 · Answer

If you want to ruin your friendship then ask her out , if you don’t want to ruin your friendship , find yourself another girl period , Never chase after a Best friends’ ex girlfriend, There are plenty of fish in the sea , find your own

Pinay_ako · Answer

No. Never. Unless you’re willing to lose that friendship. But you can ask for permission if you really like the person.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Your friend's ex should be off limits to you for the next 200 years.

Angelo75 · Answer

Depends on how good of a friendship you have.
If you really really REALLY value that friendship, just don't.
Later down the lane there is a high probability of getting complications.

Either you'll wanna talk about "your girlfriend" but it stirs up odd feelings in him, or he'll wanna talk about bad/good experiences with her "ex girlfriend" and it gets complicated for you.
Or even more of a headache is that you'll end up somehow constantly looking over your shoulder "cuz they used to love each other".
Meaning there'll always be some kinda 1% match/attraction between them.

Just quit while your feelings aren't deeply rooted yet.

Hell... find a girl that kinda looks/behaves the same and go for that girl.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Depends on how serious they were, how long it lasted, whether you're prepared to pose friendship. You could start by talking to your friend see if he has any objection. Not to say you shouldn't if he does but least you know where he stands on it.

only4me · Answer

Depends in how close you are to him. First of all i would talk to him, if he's fine with it. I mean he doesn't own her (never did, but you know what i mean), but to me its an act of respect. Always ask how you would feel.

Personally i wouldn't recommend; We had this situation once in my sportsteam and it didn't end well for all of us. The two friends nearly fought each other. Maybe it would have ended different If he asked.

BadApple69 · Answer

I would say... Bad idea. That girl possibly knows secrets about your friend that he wouldn't want you knowing... That would make it weird between you and your friend.
Plus it'll be hard to talk to your friend about your “new” girlfriend.
Also they are still friends or friendly... Anything you tell her might make it back to him.
All I all a bad idea.

Steelcore5280 · Answer

My best bud had a few girlfriends before he got married that I actually did fancy a bit. But I respected our friendship to the point where I'd rake a bullet for him, so I NEVER actually followed through and attempted to hit on any of those women once they became his ex.

I suggest you follow that advice, if you truly value your friendship with him.

Quogha · Answer

I think it depends on the situation, and the reason they broke up.

I asked out a friend’s ex. My situation was a little different though. He cheated on her. And tried to get me to cover for him….. so his values weren’t that high.

JoePro_ · Answer

Bro code usually says "no". Because even if you ask him if it's okay, chances are he'll tell you "yes" whether he's okay with it or not. So you should just avoid it, at least if you value you the friendship. Plenty of fish in the sea, my dude.

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

Talk with your friend about it before you do anything.

thatshydork · Answer

Only if you ask him first and he says to go for it.

misfitwomen12 · Answer

BIG NO NO UNLESSSS he's fine with it but still wouldn’t you feel weird?

HawkPerception · Answer

Nah man. That's against the bro code. You do that, you're a certified scumbag. No guy wants to visualize their even their ex with their friend.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

You worldly people seriously dont take things seriously you should be ashamed that is disrespecteful to your friend.

Anonymous · Answer

No bro what’s wrong w you? Bro code. You’re going to ruin your friendship. Find someone else. Even if he appears ok w it later on something may creep in his mind. Friends are hard to find, women are a dime a dozen. Look for other dimes.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

Twice, a friend's ex shortly after their break up was with me. No one involved saw a fault in this. "Bro Code"? - fuck that; adult people don't need codes, other than common sense.

LiamJHayden · Answer

It depends upon the dynamics. I have the attitude that I have no claim over an ex so I do not care whom she dates, even if she chooses one of my friends. Other guys would consider that a violation of trust.

BCRanger10 · Answer

Why are you asking us? He's the one who dated her. Ask him.

bobalife · Answer

Against bro codes but I think if you really wanna, it’s best to ask your friend first

dolidol · Answer

I think you can if your friend don't have more feelings for her. But is better to talk to him first.

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn't, only because of respect for my friend. If the roles were reversed, I wouldn't feel like that a respect move. I've been in that situation before, with her coming for me, and I backed away quick. I'm NOT good with that at all.

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

I kinda found it funny on how many women know this is against the bro code 💀

sheikalana · Answer

No, you'll ruin your friendship. That's disrespectful. You shouldn't even be talking to her.

JacobJordan · Answer

If you want to ruin the friendship go for it

JayBones · Answer

Only if twice as much time has gone by as the duration of their relation. Also she can't be one of the important ones.

MysticDevice · Answer

Bro Code mandates you have hus permission first unless sufficient time has passed since they split.

noohair · Answer

That is a violation of the Bro-Code. Permission is reequired. And it can still go bad.

Mangospacho · Answer

Should be just fine as long as there is no written contract between you two.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

First, how close if a friend is he. Second, if they are still "friends", beware.

msc545 · Answer

Yes, but only with your friend's sincere permission.

cloud9vortex1234 · Answer

I don't think you should do that out of respect for your friend.

Unycorn · Answer

Yes, if they are Not together anymore, why not?

elizamichale1 · Answer

Sure why not... she is not with him anymore

wiltingrosepetal · Answer

Yeah no 😃 there's a bro code for a reason

Nikki1989 · Answer

Sure, you can ask out anyone.

rosemilk · Answer

nope. a girl isn't worth a friendship.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

Ask your friend that question!

blueonblack22 · Answer

Generally not a good idea at all.

Dinklex3 · Answer

Ask your friend.

exitseven · Answer

I would ask him first.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

If she's not attached, go get her, Tiger!!

citygirlxox · Answer

No I think it’s against bro code

itsclearlynicholas · Answer

I'd rather someone fresh and not like that

tzdc21 · Answer

If you wanna violate the bro code, then go for it.

laly520 · Answer

u will ruin friendship

serious_miss419 · Answer

Does she know u want to ask her?

Tractorguy13 · Answer

No, not if you value the friendship

slatyb · Answer

Yes, it is.

OddBeMe · Answer

If you’re asking prob not.

Zoi99 · Answer

No to me it’s like you’re dating them.

alexandraa1 · Answer

Have you talked about it with him?

Iron_Man · Answer

Bad idea man

jaykaranmol · Answer

Hyyy

whistlingwh0res · Answer

why not?

robocop666 · Answer

then yeah

Is it okay to ask out my friend's ex girlfriend?

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