What would happen if we had a dating bench at a popular location?

[sawno]

Imagine you are walking through a busy train station (or other popular area such as a terrace) and you see a particular bench that is painted half way blue and half way pink, it has a sign "Want to meet a partner? Have a seat". The rules are also explained in the sign:
1. If nobody is sitting on the bench, you sit on the bench leaving the seat empty of the color of the gender you are wanting to meet.
2. If someone is sitting on the bench they actively want to be approached, if they invite you to sit down you have a conversation and see where it leads to.
3. Anyone not seriously looking for a date should not sit on the bench.

No dating apps or other complexities, you sit on the bench and whoever wants to approach may approach and if they like you they strike up a conversation asking if they can have a seat next to you.

Would this be a good alternative to dating apps? Would you use it? How many people do you think would use it and how high do you think the chance of a match would be?

[Anonymous]

I’d rather stick to speed dating, or social dating events. At least everyone at the location has similar motives and it takes the edge off for shy individuals too. Having some random labeled bench for the public just sounds too intimidating.
The person/people seated would likely get attention they don’t want in the form of passerby’s stopping, staring, maybe even recording for social media. Who knows how long they’d be seated there, and how their self esteem could take a blow if no one approaches.

On top of that, they’d likely be expected to have some sort of exchange before deciding whether or not one or both want to get off the bench, a lot of people would prefer to do that in a more intimate or private setting.

[sawno]

Makes sense, I thought of the people looking how it was going as some form of entertainment as a consequence but I didn't immediately think of social media. With the high social media risk I also wouldn't dare to sit on one haha.

[Opinion Owner]

Also, who would oversee the bench? Couldn’t have someone there 24/7, what’s stopping random people or even homeless from chilling on the bench?

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, it’s definitely a risk lol rougher for those with poor self esteem. Passerby’s can be ruthless, recording without care or gawking at the exchange unsure if it’s for real or some social experiment.

[sawno]

The people there would naturally oversee the bench, and the location of the train station would also pressure most people to eventually move on and go home. In a way its partially a social experiment but even if people are skeptical its just a prank at first they would probably not be skeptical of it a few days in if its still there.

[Opinion Owner]

Hmm, I doubt the people seated at the bench would like to be tasked with overseeing it while they’re there for that undetermined amount of time. Then for it to be at a train station, I guess location comes into play because in so many cases, people are just trying to get on and get off to where they’re going, as there’s often sketchy individuals or crime In general. Maybe this idea could be structured another way, I just envision this being too intimidating for the average person all things considered. But kudos to you for thinking outside of the box and welcoming our perspectives on this idea.

[purplepoppy]

Problem is what if your approached by someone awful? Online you can just ignore or block them. Or in a pub you could just say you're seeing someone.

But here everyone can see you're looking and so every guy will approach you confident you must be desperate for a partner. Do girls really want to publicly reject dozens of guys in the street?

It's a nice idea but I'd want a "Must have" sign up to deter those not up to my standards.

[Jennifer604]

With carefully-phrased euphemisms, of course.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I think it's a cute idea but I like the idea better if it's a "social bench". Like just people interested in chatting and making friends can sit there as an alternative to bars which often have intoxicated people.

[sawno]

So a general "Approach me and be social" bench, sounds like a better version of the idea indeed!

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Cheers! 🤝 I actually spent way too much time getting dates in bars and nightclubs in my early 20s. Never really worked out in the long run. However, I did get some fantastic and lifelong friends through those places, and through their friend connections, I made much better girlfriends including ultimately my wife.

So I do like the general idea of having places that don't involve any alcohol to just meet people and make friends of all sorts, and some of those friends might go on dates as a second step.

That's something that I think would be superior to online dating apps as well is just online friendship apps. People can form real-life communities and friend groups through them if they're having difficulty. Then, through the friend group they form, maybe they'll find the love of their loves.

[NathanDavis]

I already consider every bench and bus stop... a meeting spot

have actually meet a few potential dates like that and actually went on a couple from that

[sawno]

How do you initiate them? And would you say you can match with most people? My biggest hurdle in that is that I assume that people aren't interested in connections and I also have no idea who might be compatible since my type is not common as far as I know.

[NathanDavis]

okay, hmm...

I would not always be the one to initiate things... because girls also approach and initiate things too

matching with most people? not sure what you mean to match with most people... but to click and get along with every girl you interact a first time? definitely no... not the point in which you end going up on dates or anything if this is your goal, even with those that I would get along and click on a great note too, no date for whatever reason, lol

hesitating is a killer, you overthink you assume, you sabotage yourself because you end up doing anything... and the only true way to gain experience and insight is by actually experiencing people, so focus in the moment and go for the moment... just say hi, hey... and if they respond, just do some small talk, yes, just small talk... with no goal, and just so you get used to interact with people under these settings, if you see this as a hurdle, then just go through the first hurdle first or you will never find out which are the second and third...