I dont know how it has started but recently I started to think that my girlfriend is ugly. I still love her but sometimes I tell her things like lets try a new hair color on you. Today she asked me why I dont like her. I dont know how to get rid of this thought. I know it is wrong. I dont want to make her sad. Sometimes I find myself comparing her face to other females when we walking in the street.
It's actually quite human of you to notice shifts in your feelings and perceptions, especially about something as complex as attraction.
First off, remind yourself about the things that drew you to her initially. There's a whole lot more to someone than just their looks. Reconnecting with those reasons can sometimes make those other concerns seem a lot less significant.
The comparison trap is a real thing, and honestly, it's a bit of a mind game. It's natural to notice people around us, but when you catch yourself comparing, try flipping the script. Think about something awesome your girlfriend did recently or something you're looking forward to doing together.
Talking to her about this without making it about her looks might help too. Compliment the things about her that you love, not just physical stuff but the whole package. And when you do talk about appearance, make sure it's coming from a place of wanting her to feel good about herself, not just conform to some standard or idea you have.
If there's something else bugging you, either about yourself, the relationship, or totally unrelated, it might be coming out sideways as these thoughts.
If this is really gnawing at you, chatting with someone like a therapist could be super helpful. Focusing on that can sometimes make everything else fade into the background.
Just depends on why you think she is ugly on the first place? , something probably happened in your relationship with her, that is making you see her that way , Did you have disagreements with her? Do you have resentments toward her? Did you butt heads with her? Or did she just drastically change right before your eyes? Whatever the reason may be , as to why you think she looks ugly all of a sudden? Might be an indication to let her go and to let her go find someone that c’s the beauty inside and outside of her. Just be honest with her , that you are no longer attracted to her anymore , don’t tell her she is ugly , because she isn’t ugly , she is just ugly to your eyes, for whatever reason that might be , I ended relationships with girls’ because I was no longer attracted to them, it wasn’t really her
Looks I wasn’t attracted to , it was her personality and the way she treated me and her way of thinking , and her selfish behavior that made me lose attraction toward her, It happens a lot , more than we think it does , so don’t kick yourself in the ass over it , I know you feel bad , but do you really want to stay in a relationship with someone that you think is ugly? You won’t be happy or content, if you stay with someone just because you feel bad for them. If they are ugly to you , then they are ugly period , and you are best to let them go. Me personally isn’t going to get an erection for a girl that I think is ugly. I can’t speak for everyone , but that’s how I operate. I can only have sex with a girl, that I feel is beautiful to my eyes and has a beautiful heart , so again , somewhere along the way in your relationship with her , you lost that attraction to her , for whatever reason , it doesn’t make you a bad person , it only makes you a bad person, , if you string her along and not tell her the truth , about how you truly feel about her. Sadly it would just be a matter of time, before you end up cheating on her , with someone else , that you find attractive and beautiful to your eyes , Than sadly , you will really be a piece of shit , for stringing her along for your own selfish benefit. So really ask yourself , Will you be ok if she is no longer in your life? Will you be ok seeing her in another man’s arms? This is things you should really think about , before ending a relationship with someone. If your girlfriend treats you with love and respect , and she is loyal and faithful to you and she doesn’t bring misery into your life , than my advice to you man is to keep her by your side and work on your relationship with her to make things better because Grass is not greener on the other side and looks aren’t everything if your partner didn’t drastically change. , I don’t want you throwing away a good girl , for a piece of shit girl , cuz sadly there are a lot of selfish piece of shit girls’ out there , that you will probably kick yourself in the ass for , by making that stupid decision. Trust me I been there and done it. Just because a girl looks beautiful on the outside it doesn’t mean she is beautiful on the inside. So before you throw in the towel on your relationship, really consider these things before making a dumb mistake. Have a sit down talk with your girlfriend and be honest with her about how you been feeling lately , if she loves you , she will listen to you and try to fix your relationship with her , donMt be rude to her just be honest , sadly a lot of people have a hard time being honest , and that’s why so many relationships fail
Was it weight gain? Did you get to know her?
Some women can make themselves ugly as hell once you find out what she's really like. She just might not be a match for you. The allure has worn off for whatever reason. Letting her go might be your best option.
It's happened to me. One did it because she was really dumb (She was stupid and there was no fixing that). Another did it by being extremely passive-aggressive with a knack for cheating. Yet another for some reason was just trying to eat her way into being a fat fuck. So I relate, because it's not always her actual looks physically that changes your outlook on her. I remember a chubby Mexican chick that started looking quite doable after I got to know her (the opposite). It's complex.
Something has changed since you first got with her. Let her move on, and let yourself move on. Try to identify what changed that made you feel differently than when it started.
So how did you get into a relationship with someone whom you don’t find attractive? When did you start to feel this way? Did she gain weight, stop taking care of herself because she gets too comfortable with you? Need more context here. I feel like you are slowly losing your attraction on her, things are getting stale for some reasons.
Agreed with @Levin, sadly I think you’re losing physical attraction to her… maybe remember what you liked about her before or let her know where you’re at and maybe end things because it’s not fair to try to changed her… I don’t think anybody wants that tbh
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Let her go. You’re done the honeymoon phase.
u What is your conflict about continuing the relationship?
Ugly is a harsh word. That stuff is hurtful. I get that a girl doesn't have to be mindblowingly hot, but there still should be things you like about her physically, and you should find her overall agreeable. If something is changed then maybe the explanation is that you're growing apart. You should do the right thing in this case and not string her on and play with her feelings.
I guess you're dating someone who's not exactly your type but you like her for who she is. Always remember why you got together with her. I'm sure she has a great personality otherwise you wouldn't call her your girlfriend, right? Never try to change your partner's appearance that's not nice. If you think you could get to a point where you're going to hurt her deeply then stop wasting her time.
That’s interesting. My experiences have shown that when you get to know someone who is a good person, their attractiveness tends to increase.
But you say the longer you know your girlfriend, the uglier she appears?
Did you ever really find her attractive?
Stop being a dick! If you claim to lover her, then politely let her go and grow up! Don't embarrass men more with dragging this relationship on and ending up upsetting her even more.
You should imagine if she was to get into an accident and not come home. How would you feel?
A person deserves better than to have a partner who is iffy about them at any rate. Same as if she felt this about you.
Stop comparing and focus on what is good.
Straight out if the bible.
If you can't do that then you deserve a much more attractive nightmare personality.
This is what Instagram and other social media platforms have done to society.
How can you have gotten into a relationship with a woman and just now realised you're not physically attracted?
Don't be too concerned about the face , what about the body? That's something she can control and enhance. As if she's ugly , well she is just ugly.
If you’re no longer attracted to your girlfriend and have started disrespecting her, it’s not her that’s the problem! End it so she can find someone who genuinely cares about her. You wouldn’t think her ‘ugly’ if you really love her so that’s all just hot air! She shouldn’t have to change her appearance for you, any more than you for her! Leave her be!
My thing is feel how you feel but what is she feels the same way about you? Everything is okay to say and think until the shoe is on the other foot. You clearly you don’t like her so let her go. I’m sure your no Brad Pitt honey so please stop!
I think you’re just very competitive. Sorry you might have to let her go if you really love her. Imagine somebody you love telling you to change somebody physically everyday and not feeling good enough
I feel similar regarding my wife.
I just gone off her.
No interest in sex with her.
I'm not sure when or how this feeling started.
I no longer wish to spend time with her or go on holidays with her.
What can i do?
It's going to cost me heavily to get divorced.
I would only incur that option if i met someone else I wanted to be with.
I don't see that happening as i don't really socialise.
"I still love her"
Do you though? If your focus is aesthetics, is it the woman you really love or just how she looks?
If you love someone you wouldn’t find her ugly. Maybe it is her makeup you don’t like or maybe her personality is not that nice. Think about it, love makes people blind they say. So the “ugliness” wouldn’t bother you then.
What attracted you to her in the first place?
if you dont find her attractive, than maybe you should break up
Wtf is wrong with you? Stop wasting her time. Someone else will think she's pretty
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