Do you go on a first date with a girl you don't know too well with a relationship as a goal, or are you initially just thinking of sex?

[Bethany22]

[OfMiceandMen]

I typically don't go on the first date with anything else on my mind other than to get to know her. It is premature to think about a relationship at that point and definitely too premature to think about sex.

I may however briefly think about what it would be like to kiss her beautiful lips, but not in sexual way, just a gentle seeing if we have some chemistry/heart skips a beat kind of kiss. That being said, I have no intention of kissing her on the first date and it would be more curiosity than anything.

[OfMiceandMen]

Thanks @Bethany22

[Rangers]

No, of course not. Sure, I think about sharing that experience with her, eventually, after we get to know eachother, and see if my Flint on her steel will create the desires sparks I want to see between us

But sex is something that won't be discussed for quite a while, at the very least, several weeks, maybe months, or maybe even longer than that

[AviatorTom]

MY first dates were always about enjoying the company, an initial first contact, and starting to get to know her. I never expected sex, but sometimes that happened.

[V_Injector]

Sex is my goal, and if she's just after a relationship, then she's wasting her time. I'd have to be seriously bored and she's going to pay for everything.

[MineTime]

Dang. What’s wrong with a relationship?

[V_Injector]

@MineTime Nothing... but a dog and a sex doll and/or hookers will provide all the same things minus all the tribulations that come with a woman.

[OlderAndWiser]

For the past 20 years, whenever I dated, I was looking for a long term partner.

[Wetdreamz]

I wouldn't go on a date to get sex, I'd simply open any of many apps, find 2-3 average looking chicks (top looking chicks dont need a dating app, those with accounts are eitver just bored or addicted to the attention they get). Your typical average looking ones though generally are far more sexually active and quite a few are on the looking for the same thing.

If I take someone on a date, it's because i dont want my attraction for them to linger in my head for longer than possibly necessary if i was to not take action and ask her out. So its most to qualify her by mostly just listening to what she says and doesn't say

[DishLady]

Those are two big extremes. Usually the date is based on some initial attraction but it's only now with apps that specifically stress "hookup" status that there's such a significant leap in "just sex" connections. Normally (and perhaps bc I'm older), you go out to test the waters with someone who you feel attracted to either physically or because of common goals and interests.


"Relationship" should not be the first thought on the first date. It can sit in the back of someone's mind if they're "the relationship type." So, for example, if you know that you're "the relationship type," then you know that you won't go out with someone unless you can see yourself with them in a month … or two… or more. People will also know that about you because you tend to take the "friends first" approach and don't jsut go out with random strangers.

[tzdc21]

Some guys just want sex. Some want sex initially but then want a relationship once they know the girl. Some want a relationship from the get go. And some want a relationship at first, but after knowing the girl they delegate her to the sex only category... or simply leave her. Me, I personally am not interested in sleeping around. I want a relationship.

[strateguy632]

if you specified date, dating for me is always for relationship and to know them, so not just for sex, but i do try to kiss goodbye and sometimes that leads to the "other know" her.

also we do pickups, and that is for one nighters, hoping she will accept us, good enough for fun, a fling, despite she would never start dating us.

[Cheapskate]

There are three drives: lust, attraction, and attachment.

If I'm not attracted to her, I'm there because of lust.

Even if I am attracted to her, it isn't certain that attachment will develop (which takes time, anyway). Maybe it turns out I find her super boring company.

https://helenfisher.com/about/

[Cheapskate]

So my point is, it totally depends on who the woman is.

[strateguy632]

but doesn't lust include attraction? if not attractive would stll lust?

[Cheapskate]

@strateguy632 "Attraction" is more about your heart than your loins. It's when you meet someone and feel like you were struck by lightning or someone. You develop a crush on someone. "Lust" is like "Damn, she looks tasty/has nice tits/is probably good in bed".

[Cheapskate]

Lust is much broader and more carnal. There are lots of people you would want to sleep with that you would not necessarily want to date long-term.

[Cheapskate]

*lightning or something

[JacobJordan]

When I was dating sex wasn't on my mind. I don't view women as a person to sleep with. I view women as a person to build a life with. Sex is just for kids (no condom) so as a result first 5 dates there was nothing beyond maybe a hug. Most of the ladies I asked out before my wife didn't make it past the 1st or second date

[clampfan101]

A relationship in hopes of leading to marriage. Marriage,(which comes before sex for me), is always the goal if I want to date someone. Also I would prefer we be good friends first before dating.

[worldscolide]

I've always been out for relationships and marriage, it's why I don't go for sex until we have been together for more than a month.

[DJB72]

First date I'm just hoping to get a kiss. Nothing else.

If she offers sex on the first date that's a red flag. If she offers it to me that fast she's clearly got a terminal illness...

[lightbulb27]

I'm thinking of what to wear and how to have a good conversation.

But some guys your age, yea... they are on a "mission from god".

[shortster]

I am mostly looking for a relationship, but am open to sex.

[slatyb]

I never go on a date if I'm not interested in a relationship.

[MicroJ]

No, it's all about having a good time, staying engaged in conversation, and enjoying the company.

[DextroShade]

We want sex either way, but it is how the woman acts that determines if we would want to take her seriously for a relationship or if she is just recreational use only.

[strateguy632]

we aren't alowed to say "use" they will point that out, and she would enjoy too.

[Chazmatazz269]

I’m a serial monogamist. Relationship was always my main focus, but to me that absolutely means sex.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I go on a first date with a Lady to get to know her better.

[bobby_bush_eater]

I'm only dating with an intention of marriage and children. Casual sex is a thing of the past for me