Why do I feel bothered by my bf’s social media presence?

[Anonymous]

He wasn’t active on social media when we started dating. But now he’s made a new account basically with the goal of becoming an influencer. I am uncomfortable with the way he is exposing himself online in order to gain more followers. He’s meeting up with other influencers, always posting himself (I kinda cringe at how he’s “mewing” and lip-biting in some posts), going on podcasts, and what bothers me the most is how he is refusing to post me on his account and he even said that he prefers that I don’t follow his account (or let my friends know about his account).

He’s making money off of this so I’m trying to be supportive but I’m very uncomfortable. I know I’m probably just being insecure but I loved how low key he used to be about social media but now I’m just bothered by all the pictures he’s taking of himself and what not… Am I being dramatic? Should I try to talk to him about this? But I don’t want to sound like I’m being unsupportive either…

[Telekinetic-Potato]

You should learn about what he's doing, how it works and try to get involved in the business. Then you can voice your concerns in a way he's going to see as supportive.

If he wasn't big on social media before and now he's making money with it and doesn't want anyone else to see it, that means he feels like he know how it works and is willing to do things that would otherwise be out of character for him.

Being an influencer takes time, trial and error too. You ever see what post malones music videos looked like before he blew up? Even his hardcore fans laughed.

You just need to find a way to wiggle you're way in without making him feel like you're taking it over. Or at least enough to see what's going on. Make him feel like you're genuinely interested.

You like this guy right? He must see something. In it.

[DaveJord]

I would not say you are being dramatic, I mean you have legit concerns. You are basically saying he is no longer the same person he was, or even worse not even the same type of person.

I have been with people in the past that totally "reinvented" themselves. Honestly, I really just liked the person they were, before and I was less attracted to the person they become.

[dustybiker2]

Sounds like a significant change to what he was when you first met him. The not wanting to share with you or your friends is just... odd. I'd probably have already found someone else myself. Excluding is not what a partner does.

[laly520]

tough one
I wouldn't be able to date an influencer
I seek a very private life
ig u need to talk it out with him
it doesn't seem like it will end well

[KrakenAttackin]

Sounds like you are jelly of his popularity.

[Asker]

I think I’m jealous of all the female attention he’s getting lol

[avery58]

I don't blame you, private life is the best. I hate this influencer era

[BIZARRE_TRUTH]

i wouldn't date anyone who uses social media like that

[RedInnocent69]

He’s making bank. He’s not hiding it from you. MYOB.

[MzAsh]

What are you really afraid of here?

[Asker]

Tbh I’m not so sure… I think I’m wary because he’s so secretive about it. He’s getting a lot of female attention but he’s always pissed and dismissive when asked about it. It’s making me overthink

[MzAsh]

Well he may be getting some female attention, but don’t forget that as a woman, you could easily be getting 10x the attention from guys if you put yourself out there like that. I’m not saying you should do that, but just keep your feet on the ground if the reality of that, because you shouldn’t view random women on the internet as a threat to your relationship. If you do, that might indicate some self esteem issues.

On the other hand, the secrecy he’s giving is a bit concerning. He might not be totally confident in his influence gig himself, and maybe he feels awkward opening up about it. As someone who’s been building a personal online brand and business myself, the first few years are awkward af because you know everyone is your family is going wtf are they doing? Lol

[Asker]

The thing that’s making me feel insecure is that he wants to act single on his social media, and he said he’s doing it for his brand. I’m just not comfortable with that… there’s also a bunch of people sliding into his DMs as a result of that. He told me that he ignores all of them but he has a history of lying about getting/hiding messages…

I can understand him feeling awkward lol but I want to support him and want to share his business/brand with my family and friends. He’s open about all this with his friends and family so I don't know why he wants to gatekeep this from my friends