My boyfriend is fat and it makes me worried. How to reach him?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is tall but also fat, almost obese. He doesn’t eat much, but he drinks sweet a lot and doesn’t walk or exercise.

Ge drinks coke 2 bottles in a day and energy drink, and i just found out he also put sugar in his coffee. I love him the way he is, I don’t mind if he fat or not, but i am just worried if it will get him diabetes someday and that his lifestyle caused some diseases in the future.

But i am afraid it would offend him, coz i already tell him several times not to get any sugar in his drinks, he just said yes but still drink it. And someday we fought and he even asked me to looking man who is better looking.

How to make him understand?

[DaveJord]

Look sister, as a man I can literally understand what you are saying here. Like been there done that.

But here is your fatal flaw, and you just told on yourself... " I love him the way he is."

The truth is, you love him for who is right not now, but you know someday you are going to really struggle with who you may become if he does not start making healthier live choices. And that is the hierocracy factor, because the truth is... your satisfied with who is, but you are not truly in love with it.

I had wife, I "loved" here... note the pass tense. But she got fat and out of shape and some of her happens were not consistent with the type of life I wanted to live for myself. I am a very fit, heathy and active person. I bike, hike, camp, swim, kayak and paddle. So even though I loved her and appreciated her on one level, I totally did not respect the choices she was making in regard to her own health. So honestly, I never truly loved her on some level... and that is where you are now. Your just not being honest with yourself about it. Because I have no doubt that you do not genuinely care for this guy, and that you do genuinely do not want the best for him. But you cannot truly love him, unless you learn to respect him for the choices he is making and for being the person he now and will be tomorrow.

[DaveJord]

typos sorry

[Asker]

I don’t mind he is being fat, i don’t mind if he doesn’t look fit. But i am just worried about his health, it’s not about look but about his health, how come you judge people that they don’t really love their partner , not everyone is the same. I’m not like u, you aren’t like me.

[DaveJord]

Well, it is really up to him and not you, so share your thoughts and feelings with him and them let it be, because love him just the way he is. If its about his health and not you, then its on him not you.

[joehypo1]

Well a friend of mine who he is over weight and developed diabeties , long story short they had to cut one of his legs off and now he is blind and has a very short time to live he is 42 years old. My cousin was over weight and waiting to have knee surgery so he had been sleeping in a reclining chair and one morning he got up to go to work and collapsed and died right in front of his daughter and wife because of a blood clot, diet soda and soda are so bad for you and the sweetners that they use are bad enough to want to quit but if he ends up developing kindney stones he will quit for sure thats how bad they hury

[dustybiker2]

Start your own consistent exercise routine. After a time ask if he wants to make it a couples part of your day. Ask him what he thinks of his own health. You can't change people, you can only point out you are concerned, and best in a kind way.

[laly520]

talk to him n suggest doing activities together such as going to walk etc

[Purpleronnie]

You can’t really MAKE him do anything all you can do is show him that you care and send him the message loud and clear that you want him to be around and with you as long as possible. It’s sounds really bad but perhaps a health scare would give him the wake up call he clearly needs. As we get older our metabolism slows. From when we reach about 44/45 our bodies are actually in decline and we have to work harder and harder at maintaining our health. What he is heading for is a fatty liver , obesity and diabetes and with that combination and no change in his current regime he will be dead before he is 60

[onedarkcloud]

Sorry you can't change him till he is at the gates of death and then maybe he will listen to someone and even then, there is no guarantee he won't revert back. I have lost too many people that were the same as b/f. A three hundred lb 26 year old dead before he hit the floor friends and EMT s worked on him for an hour to no avail. Keep trying just maybe you will get lucky

[RHK36]

People only change when they want to change. The more you try to trick him or get him to do it the more he'll dislike it. You should have at least one serious conversation with him because one's health is important. If he doesn't budge that's on you for being with someone that gave up.

[TommyMountainFigure]

There is a famous saying:-

You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink!

You have done what you can. If he doesn't want to change his lifestyle, I'm really sorry but you cannot change it for him!

[Nikki1989]

“And someday we fought, and he even asked me to look for a man who is better looking.”

Well, what are you waiting for?

[FunkyMonkee]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roerrFgZpMk&pp=ygUbc2hlbCBzaWx2ZXJzdGVpbiBkaWV0IHNvbmcg

Try this.

[boggboss]

Well thats it u can't make him see if he dont want to if u have spoken to him about it then I don't see it changing

[OtterMan68]

Suggest going on hikes or walks, taking up a sport like pickleball or tennis, going to fitness classes, and when you cook for him, make healthy meals and order healthy meals for yourself when you're out to eat with him.

[itsclearlynicholas]

I hope I don't end up fattening as part of the aging process lol 😂😆 I do like my treats as much as home cooked healthy meals 😀🤤

[handsomelad70]

Be sensitive to his feelings, but let him know that as a concerned girlfriend, you're worried that his excess weight could lead to future health issues.

[jahaims]

You can't make someone do something. He knows what he is doing is bad for his health. He doesn't have self respect so he won't take care of his health.

[Rangers]

Simple, take him to the gym with you, get his body moving

[DrPepper12]

You can't. He's gonna HAFTA want it. Encourage him for health reasons, not vanity and that may work

[serious_miss419]

Do it together- get healthy w him

[Starrrboy]

Seems like he's not going out of his way..

[BarryLiverstone]

You rely on his doctor to create a diet for him

[In_Trance]

You can't