Should a good guy never go for a women who has been abused?

[Anonymous]

Because of the fact she’s so conditioned to the dysfunctional relationship that when he starts treating her good it’s boring or not up to her standards

[DarkLegacy]

No because it is baggage right from the beginning. Besides is she the type of woman that purposely went for the 'bad' guy despite warnings, especially where he had a history of violence. It is a case of people who play with fire get burnt.

She is probably toxic herself and will most likely cheat on the good guy, and be unreliable as a partner. What if she decides to go back to the abusive guy like so many do particularly if like you say she finds it boring.

Being a good guy does not mean being a pushover by the way.

[Asker]

So she told me that he was abusing her basically manipulating her to do sexual actions which i personally called it rape when I heard it but she refuse to call it that. Even that wasn’t enough after their relationship Long dissolved and he was with another girl this girl was begging to go back to him

[DarkLegacy]

I've seen ti before mate, you are best off out of it

[RebelinSteel]

Not really sure how you would bring that up in a conversation during a date.

’So Debbie, could you tell me if in any of your previous relationships , have you been abused by your partner”

as you go down the checklist

[Asker]

So it’s not really trying to go through a checklist but the thing is it starts a pattern where if the guy abuses the girl then she abuses the guy in her next relationship

[RebelinSteel]

But how do you know

[LazerBean]

Yes, men and women with minimal damage should not get with someone who is severely damaged. In the end, they will only take some of that damage for themselves and then have to settle for someone lesser later on because of it.

[DarkLegacy]

Exactly

[TommyMountainFigure]

If I care about someone then I make allowances for anything they have been through previously. If she were a victim of abuse would be something we would work through together!

[Asker]

So I tried that but she didn’t seem interested in receiving mental health treatment for her trauma, defended the actions of the guy who abused her was actually still friends with him on every social media platform and developed this mindset that she was never wrong that it’s always other people’s fault

[TommyMountainFigure]

I bet you never tried inviting the guy round to the house so he could apologise to her? I would have.

[jahaims]

It's stupid to take on unnecessary baggage.

[Asker]

I learned the hard way, basically every relationship in her family has had violence her mom every relationship she has been in they have beat the shit out of each other and had charges. Her sister who has borderline personality disorder is verbally and physically abusive she abuses everyone regardless of the relationship she also had charges cause she flys off the handle. The brother is also in and out of court for charges connected to physical violence and destruction. He also physically fights his girlfriend