Asking someone’s age at end of a date?

[Caz26]

Hey, I was on a date the other night with a girl I’ve hungout with a few times. She had initially asked me out on a date but I was sick that week so I set up a new date with her. It went really well. We met at a bar and had a really good conversation. She had said she could only stay for a couple drinks before meeting up but wanted to stay longer and we ended up continuing at a nightclub after. Towards the end of the night (about 12am) as we planned to leave after her final drink she asked me how old I was. I told her I was 33 and she said her max age was 28 yr old guys. I guess she was herself 23.

Seems like a shallow thing. Sure, especially since we had both even been talking about how we don’t have superficial preferences like height or hair color etc. But it got me wondering, is there a better way to respond to this question? Like a playful response “Why? Is that a big deal for you?” Or some kind of way to brush it aside. It just seems pretty wild to get rejected at the end of a date over something like that. I do look young for my age but I also still enjoy going out clubbing and so am around a lot of mid-twenties people and have many friends who are that age (because I’m in a foreign city). Just curious how other people handle the age question

[Oliverlogan263]

Dawg, that's super awk bringing up age like that at the end of the date. Really kills the vibe.

I feel you though, 10 years can be a big gap. Even though numbers are just numbers and you obviously vibe if you were having a good time all night.

Honestly if it was me, I probably would've played it cool in the moment. Maybe like "Damn girl, is 33 too old or something? I still feel 23!" With a wink so she knows you're joking.

Throw a subtle compliment in like how you had a great time with her and age is just a #. Then see how she responds.

If she's still meh about it, respect her choice. But you planted that seed it may not be a total dealbreaker. Now the ball's in her court if she wants to see you again.

Either way man, don't let it get you down. You seem like a catch - she's missing out! Her loss, next babe's gain. Keep your head up player!

[RebelinSteel]

Usually before the date, it comes up in general conversation, sort of like I’m Matt 30 from Cambridge working at xyz, what about you. That is all at before any date is thought about.
if it’s in a pub and you just meet up and start chatting, I just mention if she does not, sort of a ‘if you are interested, putting it down there’

respecting others likes, dislikes, boundaries and limits is something we must all do, trying to laugh it off after she put in a hard limit is pointless and cringy.

[Caz26]

This is not a normal way of having a conversation with someone unless it’s online dating and you have your age on your profile. You don’t meet up with someone and just start listing stats about yourself.

[RebelinSteel]

@Caz26 I never do online only in the real world, n yes you do come out with stuff about yourself, obviously not in one go, however over a few hours chatting, you talk about jobs, careers, university,
Also you are basing your normal on things, I have zero problems just telling her my name and she will know where I am from based on my accent,
Everyone does things differently, not had any problems since 13, so works for me.

[Caz26]

And when would age come up in that? And how you just supposed to assume a girls one thing is age? Some women don’t care about that. Some women are obsessed with height. Should I start the date off by confirming whether I’m over 6 foot or not? It’s just a bit silly

[RebelinSteel]

Erm she can look at you and see how tall you are.
Do you actually date in the real world?

[Caz26]

I mean, she can tell if she’s attracted to me too, if we get along etc. If we’re going by things that are not looks and personality then is it acceptable for a guy to ask a girls body count at the very end of a date and reject her if it’s too high? 🤷‍♂️

[RebelinSteel]

Oh so you actually have a number that’s to high?

[bobalife]

It’s not shallow, it’s just preferences. She probably just forgot to ask and wanted to make sure before the end of the date before moving forward.

tbh I don’t blame her since that’s 10 years apart. Sure most guys don’t mind age differences, but more women do mind age difference. I know 10 years is huge for me too and I can’t do that even if he looks young. Just 5 years difference is already hard for me because you literally can tell what’s different about likes/dislikes, perspectives, values, and life stages. Sure some girls don’t mind the age gap as they’re NOT very experience, wants a sugar daddy, or likes the idea of someone reliable and what not.

[Avicenna]

Well, your age is what it is. I look somewhat younger than my age so I'd rather she ask and know if she doesn't already.

[Iron_Man]

When somebody tells you their max age preference that’s pretty much shutting you down I don’t understand why she didn’t ask you in the beginning

[GoodgirlNatalie]

Should be at the start