A Guy that I am talking to for a month keeps following girls on fb even though we are flirting and he has told me he is considering marriage. Normal?

[Satarupa9511]

So this guy that I am talking to approached me and said he was looking for something serious. And we do talk everyday and he is very nice and remembers things about me, but he keeps sending friend requests to girls on Facebook every two days. I know that cause it comes up on his follow list. I know that’s stalkish of me but I have anxiety and I really like this guy but I wanna know for sure before I can completely invest in him. So him sending friend requests to other girls , is it normal or not? We are not exclusive or anything.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that does seem a little odd if he's telling you he's looking for something serious and possibly marriage. I'd maybe feel a little weird about it too if I were you. A couple thoughts:

- It could just be harmless curiosity on his part, wanting to see who's out there but not actually planning to pursue anything. Some people are naturally more social than others online.

- However, saying he's considering marriage after only a month is also a red flag that he may be moving too fast and not be entirely serious yet either.

- The constant friend requests to random girls would give me the impression he likes the attention and validation of adding new people, which isn't super respectful if he's talking to you.

My advice would be have an honest conversation with him. Let him know it's making you uneasy, not because you don't trust him necessarily, but because his actions aren't exactly matching his words if he claims to be looking for a serious commitment. See how he responds when you bring it up - is he understanding of your perspective or does he get defensive? His reaction will tell you a lot. Proceed carefully and don't get too invested just yet until his actions align more with wanting just you. Trust your gut and don't ignore any red flags!

[Satarupa9511]

But me telling him I see him following girls on Facebook would make sound stalkish right?🥲

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh man, that's such an awkward situation. I can understand why you wouldn't want to directly call him out on following other girls, since that does risk coming across as stalkerish. A few other approaches you could try:

- Casually ask where he sees the relationship going. Gauge his level of commitment without accusing him of anything. See if his words match his actions.

- Suggest making things officially exclusive. See how he reacts to commitment. If he hesitates or makes excuses, that's not a good sign.

- Bring up feeling insecure sometimes about where you stand compared to other girls. An understanding guy would reassure you.

- Unfollow/mute his profile so you're not tempted to check up on who he follows. Out of sight, out of mind.

- Consider if this is the kind of guy you really want - someone who makes you question and stress. You deserve better than that!

Ultimately trust your gut feeling. If this is giving you anxiety already, it may not be worth the stress. But try communicating your needs before straight up asking about his follows. Hope it works out! Let me know if you need anything else.

[Anonymous]

This just sounds incredibly naive on your part, I’m sorry. If this man slid into your DMs unprovoked, as a stranger, what on earth would make you think he isn’t sliding into multiple others? You don’t have to understand why people do things like this just because you never would, it still happens all the time every day. This is so crazy because you don’t know this man, he can be carrying on conversations with you and other women, simultaneously seeking more and living his bachelor life online since he can’t achieve it IRL.

[newNapoleon123]

Beautiful lady, why don't you be lovers with me?