A friend said she wouldn't date a guy unless he's been through therapy, I guess so he's worked on himself and can be a good catch. What you say?

[sage2021]

This does make sense to me, and the same goes for women.
Would you rather have someone has reexamined their life and became a better person for doing so?
I'm not talking about people that are all messed up and need therapy. Just one's that want to work on being their best self.

[bobalife]

I get it, she wants someone who has been able to have the will to get a better understanding of himself and work through some of his past traumas/experiences/attachment styles in order to build more self-awareness and be more prepared for a committed long-term relationship. Lots of people can say they want to date or be in a relationship, but isn’t actually ready for commitment nor has what it takes to build a good solid foundation /partnership. This comes in a more open mindedness and stability framework. I actually have heard of this from both men and women more frequently who wants to date seriously and in podcasts. There’s more of a higher level in maturity. I don’t think other commenters comprehend nor is open to this new unfamiliar idea of it lol. But I’d be more drawn to dating someone who has some experience in therapy to have grown and value growth too, or at least someone who is open about the purpose of therapy in the community/relationships/individually.

[sage2021]

@bobalife
Thank you for your opinion and for understanding what I am trying to say here. You explained it far better than myself.

[Serkee]

And if he doesn't need therapy? Or if going to therapy would only make his mental state worse? Therapy isn't for everyone, and most people don't need it. It sounds to me like she's had some bad partners and she's pasting that image onto every guy she meets.

[shortster]

I don't see that as a problem.

[RebelinSteel]

So a normal mr average guy goes to a counsellor / therapist, the therapists asks what his problems are, the guy says nothing.
what exactly does the counsellor have to work with?
Therapists / counsellors need something to work with, if you are fine there is zero point to get counselling / therapy.
Your friend is the one needing therapy.

[sage2021]

@RebelinSteel
No one is normal let's face it.
But what if you went to a therapist because you wanted to be proactive instead of getting into a relationship and having it get all messed up like most of them on this website?
I'd rather be proactive than have my relationship get all messed up and have to be reactive.
There's gotta be somethings people can learn in therapy that they don't already know to have a good relationship.

Yeah, it would really stump a therapist if they didn't have anything to work with.

But there are relationship therapists that can share knowledge about how to have a good relationship. They already know what it takes to have a screwed up relationship. This is just a different approach.

[RebelinSteel]

As I said your friend needs it.

There is a long enough waiting for people who actually have problems, without some idiot suggesting this.

[worldscolide]

Sounds like someone I would not go near. Don't get me wrong, I've been through therapy, but it's because I've been through things that woukd leave a normal person with nightmares for the rest of their life.. But to make therapy a prerequisite for dating someone is to assume no matter what that everyone has something wrong with them. It's an arrogant take.

[Juxtapose]

It's insulting to insinuate that I would need a therapist to introspect and improve myself. I am competent enough to examine myself, seek outsider perspectives, be humble, etc without a therapist. And because of autism I already had plenty of special attention given to my development as I was growing up.

I'm a grown ass man who is at peace with himself.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I guess to some it just doesn't seem feasible that others can be level headed without therapy.

[Juxtapose]

It's a projection of personal weakness or a superiority complex in my opinion.

[TommyMountainFigure]

The best therapy is having great friends you can talk to about anything, and trust them to give the right advice.

Professional therapy wouldn't work for me!

[Juxtapose]

^^ facts

[exitseven]

The whole idea behind dating is that you find out about people. You see them at their worst. You see how they treat others. You watch them when they think nobody is watching. You don't need a shrink to figure it out

[Nifrayu]

I think that's okay. I personally think more people should get therapy.

[NathanDavis]

I did therapy'd myself for at least 12 years

I think I did alright enough...

[sage2021]

@NathanDavis
See, now that's what I am talking about and you are a better version of yourself now right?
That's all I'm saying...

[NathanDavis]

I definitely try to be (=

[Likes2drive]

That’s an odd thing to request if the guy doesn’t have any real issues, I wouldn’t go unless I had something to go for, not just to talk, you could probably do that with a bartender at the bar. I doubt she will find someone like that to date

[Surely]

I worked with a guy that was the only one with papers saying that he was sane. In reality he was nuttier than the rest of us!
When he wanted a vacation. He would sign himself into Phil Haven!

[IWILLPLEASEYOU]

I might ease her mind and I'll let her know that it's okay 👍 I saw a quality therapist and she made me practice with her and she was able to get my life in order for me and she was going to fuck her for me to get my life in order.

[FunkyMonkee]

That's a pretty strange request. Has SHE been through therapy?

[Nice222]

No that sound ridiculous. And I wouldn’t go because in my state there is no patient doctor confidentiality.