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My fiancé and I recently got engaged. However, I am starting to second guess things. He is the best man I’ve ever dated. I really felt that he was the one. He truly is a good man. No man has ever made me feel the way he does. We do have a 14 year age gap. I am not bothered by that, as he is not the first older man I’ve dated. I’ve generally had much better experiences dating older men.
My issue is his ex wife. I typically don’t date men with children. As I don’t have children of my own yet, and I don’t have time to deal with baby mama drama. I made that very clear to him when I first met him. He assured me his ex wife was not that way, and told me they have a healthy coparenting relationship. I’ve met there two children multiple times and they love me.
My fiancé and his ex wife divorced because she got strung out on drugs, and cheated on him. They have been divorced for 5 years now. The children live with his parents full time, and only see there mother on the weekends. My fiancé is active duty military. Once he retires, the children will live with us full time.
His ex wife is constantly asking him for money that is for HER and NOT THE KIDS. This a a huge red flag to me. She constantly exploits and manipulates him. If he doesn’t send her money, she threatens to take the kids away and put him on child support. He finally admitted once we got engaged, that she is a sneaky mischievous bitch.
Him and I have argued about this multiple times. I feel that he is not handling this properly. He has not put his foot down, and set appropriate boundaries.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
3Opinion
Sorry are u insane u think its appropriate to ask your fiancé if u can date other men to see if u can find better and if u can't u will marry him I get he has problems but hoe can u not see how selfish and self centered this question is if u are that unhappy end things
I do understand that my question is a bit wild. However, that does not give you the right to call me out of my name. I too think my question is a bit insane. However, considering his ex wife left there kids starving in the pantry, while she was out cheating on him. Constantly wiped his account out and would spend his entire check on drugs. She even went to jail and rehab. She tried to put heroin in his drink and get him kicked out the military. Yet, he still tried to work things out with her. I don’t think my question is too unreasonable to this man. Prior to meeting him, I was planning to join the military myself. I have always been a very independent woman. I moved out at the age of 17. I have always worked 3 jobs while in school full time. I could no longer afford school, which is the main reason I planned to join the military. He talked me out of it, and into being a housewife. Now, I am solely dependent on him. So it’s not that easy for me to just leave. I feel a bit stuck and am unsure of what to do. I do truly love him, and would never cheat or do anything behind his back. I will always be upfront about everything. I just don’t want to waste my youth away. I have traveled a lot and done the whole partying thing prior to meeting my finance. What I mean is, I don’t want to turn my life around for another man, just to end up hurt in the end. Everyone keeps telling me to find someone younger or without kids. Now thoughts are starting to form in my head, making me doubt him and our future.
U are compering your wants to that of a crackhead for justification sure what he put up with her was much worst but thats separate to what your asking here I don't think any person would be happy hearing what u are asking saying u are dependent on him also don't make it better you are asking to be supported whilst u look for better in what reality do u see him being happy with that
I don’t mind getting back into the working field. I am currently in school, studying to become a yoga teacher. What would you do in my situation?
Speak to him let him know how u feel and that your uncomfortable if nothing can change I would leave and stay with friends or family
Dating other men? Yeah, throw that idea at him, I'm sure he won't mind at all.
That's the most selfish idiotic option you could choose. Interesting you mentioned it first.
This feels like a deal-breaker to me. His life is not in order. Find someone closer to your age and childless.
So I should break things off with him entirely? I fear that I won’t find another man as good as him. I understand that no one is perfect, and you kind of have to accept some things with anyone you date. Is this that much of a deal breaker to completely let him go? Guys my age are usually inexperienced and still have things to get out of there systems. I want a man who is ready to settle down. I’m tired of all the games.
You are very young. There are plenty of young single men.